A WONDERFUL OPPORTUNITY

A Wonderful Opportunity

   Les decides to write a book, and after several attempts, with each attempt beginning with the events at the point of time in which he resumes to write, he realizes that the story must begin at the point of time in which the idea of the story is conceived, even though the timeframe is not coinciding with the amount of time the story is originally anticipated to expire. Today is July 28. The story initially begins on October 14, thirty-eight weeks earlier, and on October 14, fifty-two weeks later, the story is scheduled to end, one year after it begins. It is possible that the story may still end after one year from which it began, but highly unlikely considering the new adventure he has recently embarked upon. The concept of his story is a daily account of his life, three hundred and sixty five continuous days of his life, and where the story shall take him after those three hundred and sixty five days. A lot has changed since October 14, not only concerning his life, but on the entire planet; life on earth has changed for nearly every person who is a member of modern civilization.

On October 14, he had just returned from staying at the hospital for a week with his mother. She had been there for almost two weeks before anybody informed him of her situation. He really doesn’t want to get in to the circumstances why nobody told him she was there, because perhaps he is partly at fault for not keeping better tabs on her, and because of wanting to stay consistent with the title of this story. Wonderful opportunities to not come into existence because of negativity, but that is not to imply that this story might not reflect any negativity. Does negativity actually even exist? Or is it a construct evolving from human nature to explain why things go awry, in order to place the blame of those forms of circumstances on anything but one’s own self?

   There certainly was not any lack of negativity during these seven days at the hospital with her. Certain members of his family are upset with him for being there, but that isn’t his problem. Nevertheless, it is an emotionally draining seven days. He states that he isn’t leaving until she does, and she improves enough to go back to the nursing home. 

When he gets home to his log cabin on top of a mountain, almost a mile from the nearest neighbor, he is sitting in the rocking chair. It is a beautiful rocking chair, given to him by one of his sisters. It is dark, he is tired, and not feeling especially well, perhaps a little depressed from staying at his mother’s side for a week at the hospital. Spending a week at a hospital is not generally a really great experience. Of course it is fantastic when she is released, but hospitals are not usually considered fun places to be. The nurses there were very sympathetic and actually do make the stay more bearable.

   He is sitting in the rocking chair, emotionally spent, somewhat depressed, and just not feeling all that great. He is feeling somewhat unsure about his future. It certainly must include something more than the isolation combined with hours each day playing a guitar, watching the birds. Certainly there must be more to his life than that! We do what we love. Nobody is exactly forcing us to do anything against our will. If we have a complaint, we only have ourself to blame for taking the path we are on. The greatest display of love is considered to be risking our life for our fellow persons. If we cannot love ourself, how can we truly love another. That seems to imply, that indeed, we sometimes have to risk our own life for the pursuit of love, doing what we love. The definition of love?

  Love is patient, love is kind. Love is not jealous, boastful proud or rude. Love does not demand it’s own way. Love is not irritable or resentful. Love does not fly off the handle. Love is not happy with wrong doing, love is always happy with the truth. Love doesn’t give up, love doesn’t lose faith. Love is always hopeful, enduring through every circumstance.

That is why we do not give up. Our bodies will perish but our spirit is being renewed every day. Our present troubles are small, and won’t last very long, but they produce a treasure for us that will last forever, making all worthwhile.

   So we do not look at the troubles we can see now. Instead, we set our sights on the things that can not be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone. And the things we can not see will last forever.

   But, perhaps the most accurate definition of love, which can be debated until the face turns blue, is; “If you love me, you will do what I say.” Even if that action is undeniably wrong, you will do it, because if you love somebody enough, beyond the welfare of one’s own self, you will do it. There is also the other side of that coin, if somebody .oves you enough, they will not want to put you in such a compromising position. The subject of love will resurface throughout this story, because what can be a more wonderful opportunity than to expose love for all it really is?

   Suddenly it feels like a very soothing wind is blowing through him, giving him a feeling as if floating on a cloud. It is a good feeling. As he is wondering what on earth is happening, suddenly a message finds it’s way into his thoughts, his sub conscience. The message is, “This is a Wonderful Opportunity.” He is not sure what is happening to him, but those few seconds are not ordinary.

   He wakes up in the morning, and calls one of his best friends, Dick.  Dick asks him if he had heard the news, and that makes Les feel very uncomfortable. He is anticipating that his mother has passed away because Dick would probably be more likely to hear the news, because he is associated with town gossip central, by default… and who would bother to call Les to tell him that his mother passed away? Certainly none of his siblings. They would rather blame him for not knowing.

   As it turns out, Dick is reeling from a terrible accident. Luckily, he is not banged up to bad, but he won’t be able to drive for awhile. Les does not have a license because of a series of injuries leaving him unable to work, but just barely able to survive being so isolated on top of his mountain. He had gotten a ticket for failure to provide insurance during a traffic stop, while driving to get his ailing mother something to eat. He has to heal, and he knows things will fall apart, but he has to heal. Without health insurance, a choice, he believes in natural healing. He also knows he has crawled out of some pretty deep hole, and he will climb out of this one.

 This is when he realizes what the wonderful opportunity is. It is a chance to help his friend, when his friend doesn’t have many others offering help, but just kicking back into the hole. Les doesn’t really want a driver’s license, or a vehicle. His favorite ;lace is on top of his mountain, playing a guitar, watching the birds. Driving only means that he is going other places, places that are not on top his mountain with a guitar in his hand. There is also another reason he has to get a license, more on that later in the story.

   He decides that the wonderful opportunity is writing a book. A story of how a man changes his life by applying self discipline, staying away from things that are not productive. Things like drinking and smoking, and wasting time on the internet searching for something. Generally avoiding activities that are not productive in a positive way. Being lonely, it is very easy to get wrapped up in trying to find a new friend, a friend that can provide him with what is lacking in his life. He already has a certain person in mind, so this turning over a new leaf, or the same old leaf that keeps getting turned over.

For thirty years many people call him a fool for not selling his music. He has his reasons, and decides it is time to make exceptions to his standards, to try to make money with it. He believes that music, like love, should not be bought or sold. He also has to become more focused on what he believes to be the source of all positive energy, of all energy. He believes that negative energy is really negative once we discover its purpose; to change for the better. His story is going to be a daily account of self discipline and applying certain standards, for one year, and how that brings great success. It certainly will be an adventure, because his life always is, for better or seemingly worse. He digs through his storage area and finds a typewriter, he begins to write a story, a wonderful opportunity.

  It is now July 29, and he has to get some rest. He is no longer comprising the story with a typewriter. He is not on top of his mountain in Maine. He is in Tucson, Arizona, typing on a brand new MacBook Pro. He has had it for nearly a month, and has just figured out how to connect it to the internet with a pocket phone, after nearly a month of wondering how this story will develop, because he lost not only one typewriter, but two.

July 29:

He finally figures out how to connect his laptop to the phone for internet. Using the inverter built into the dash of the truck keeps the laptop charged. It won’t be long before he is broadcasting live! He stops into the Guitar Center in Phoenix today to get frets for his guitar. The technician tells him that there is only one place to get them. That is strange because frets are advertised in several places on the internet. But Les keeps quiet, no sense to raise a senseless dispute.

This story will jump back and forth between what currently happens during the day, and picking up from where the original story leaves off, until it catches up. He has already made one book, a children’s book that illustrates a song he writes. About twelve years earlier, he is looking at his ex’s internet profile. Every time they break up they stalk each other looking for little clues about getting back together. She was an experiment with love, forgiving her for anything and everything. That is what love does. This time there is a poem posted on her page, a silly poem. He has not ever read it, but he senses that it might be a very popular poem, so he looks it up. He also wonders if she is pregnant, because it is obviously a children’s poem. What is she trying to tell him? He looks it up, wheels on the bus. If that is all it takes to be popular, he can handle that.

August 2, 12:53

He finishes with all he can do in Phoenix and still make it to Sturgis. One of the tires had been leaking steady for almost a week. Yesterday morning it nearly went all the way flat, so he takes it to a tire shop. Surprised that they had his name on file, it must have been that flat tire in Pocatello, Idaho nearly fifteen years ago. He leaves Phoenix after stocking up on some items. He has to buy a radio, remembering every year the Hells Angels always ask to borrow his radio, so he just buys them one every year. It has been ten years since he has been to Sturgis. This year will be different, considering how the world has changed.

  He doesn’t wan t to introduce that aspect of the story quite yet, but it is irresistible to mention his new masks. They are such a nuisance. After buying three of them in preparations for the trip, they are stored in the crate that UPS still hasn’t returned to him a month after sending it. The mask he flew with is a construction dust mask, then he buys a sport of leopard print mask from a stand on the side of a Los Angeles street. We Then a friend buys him one with fangs that glow in the dark. The masks become very frustrating. They impede his respiration, they impede everybody’s respiration, blah, blah…. He makes several stops a day, often remembering too bring it when he is about to enter into an establishment. 

   The negative energy slowly builds, until one day when it seems every other turn he makes is the wrong turn. Deciding enough is enough, he goes to a fancy women’s lingerie store and spends sixty-five dollars on a swanky bra and pair of panties, that hen takes them to a seamstress and asks them to make three masks, two out of the bra and one out of the panties. The saleswomen at the lingerie store seem amused by his purpose, and the three kind ladies at the alteration shop gave him funny looks, but soon began to enjoy being part of the project. It certainly is not every day when a guy walks into a bridal tree shop with a bra and panties, asking to have them made into masks. Before he leaves, one of them measures around his face to the ears. 

  He stops there today to pick them up. The lady greets him with a big smile, telling him that they really enjoyed playing with different ideas, and that he had “opened” their minds. The masks are really cool. He no longer feels the negative energy of putting one on and off several times a day. They also feel very good against his face, but then again, bras an d panties usually do! This not going to be children’s book!

  He gets done with Phoenix for the time being. He has always just passed back and forth through it. Phoenix is pretty nice, except for the one hundred degree days and ninety-five degree nights. After rolling out of town, he pulls over at a truck stop because he is tired, then wakes up enough to drive to rest area where he plans on taking a nap. But as he is driving, the cooler air and open road energizes him. He pulls over at the rest area, pays his Despizin Wireless bill, pulls out the laptop, connects it to the phone for internet, and adds to the story. His first go around with writing it had him contemplating whether to just write straight through, or break it up into chapters. About a month of writing, holding to his new protocol, he has getting a lot done: very productive. Then his mother gave in to age. That was the end of chapter one.

Tonight, he is going to drive until the sun rises. It would be nice to see the Flagstaff, Sedona, and the open road sites of northern Arizona in the daylight, but there is not going to be any shortage of sites to see. He likes to drive at night, less traffic, the road all to himself. This story has taken a new twist. Did he mention the girl he likes? He is good at keeping secrets of others, but doesn’t keep his own very well. This is a story, it is his story, so obviously it will have a wild ending.

August 5, 2:22 am

Not that he wants a wild ending, he prefers peace and quiet. The air certainly did cool off after he made it past Flagstaff, he encountered a pocket of ffifty-five degrees! He doesn’t remember where he slept that n night, kit is possible he has a couple of two hour naps.Yes, it was at the meteor rock rest area. He then progresses into southern Utah, he wants to start shopping for a certain item that following Monday, the day before yesterday, while driving north to Salt Lake city. The sooner he finds it the sooner he can put the pedal to the medal towards Sturgis,  That road from Blanding through the capitol reef tomRichfield is one of his favorites. Trying to take a picture of the beautiful scenery is futile, because there are not enough cameras and film to capture it all. He almost makes it to Sturgis that night, just north of Casper before he gives in to sleep. It is a beautiful drive that night, the moon is really bright along the drive, like a giant spotlight in the sky. He drives about seven hundred miles that day. He also picks up a Waylon Jennings cd and plays it the entire way to Sturgis. It reminds him of his mother.

When he stops in Casper to get gas, there was a deer running through the parking lot. When he pulled over to get coffee at a station, which is closed when he gets there, there are two deer running through that lot. If the store is open, he gets coffee and makes it to Sturgis. But it isn’t, so he takes a nap. The ride into Sturgis is beautiful, it is great to be there after a ten year absence. But that happy feeling doesn’t last long.He forgets about the safety strap underneath the camper, and he bends the two front jacks while trying to unload it. This creates a major problem because now he can’t drive the truck.

He has to walk almost a mile and a half to get what is needed to fix the jack. He carries two big two by sixes back, with a big hammer. Luckily his hikes up and down the mountain packing things back and forth, but the walk in the heat wears him out, especially after the driving he had to do to get there. Picking up the guitar for the first time in days crested another issue, because it has suddenly become unplayable. That is really upsetting, he needs to unwind, and all he has to do that with is a guitar.

August 12, 12:46 am

The jack doesn’t get fixed because it is pretty much unfixable. As it turns out, so are two of the other jacks. Those jacks that jack the camper up high enough to allow the truck to load and unload it. That was obvious a week ago, but getting around to write about it has taken that long. This is Sturgis. Not that the location is complicating matters any, as there seems to be a complication around every turn. There are two different t experiences of Sturgis: the kind that you come here to party, and the kind that you come here to work. They can overlap a little bit, especially if one enjoys their work.

   Les: A lesbian song sparrow trapped in a mountain man lumberjack’s body. H sees a teeshirt saying “Drunk Wives Matter,” and buys two, because they probably won’t last long. That is correct, because they sold out, but he hasn’t seen anybody wearing one? He has received countless compliments on his, but if the shirts are sold out, why hasn’t he seen anybody wearing one?

   There is the argument that it is an insult to alcoholic wives, yet it says they matter; so what it is the problem? There are plenty of drunk wives that appreciate the slogan, and anybody who isn’t a drunk wife really do not have the insight to judge it right or wrong. There is also the argument that it denigrates the origin of the slogan, yet it is a black woman that sold him the teeshirts. Yes, drunk wives do say they love the teeshirt, they do matter. Which is really the bigger problem, the alcohol abuse problem? Or the thinking that one has all the correct answers problem?

   This trip is being very demanding that Les remains focused, and it is only five weeks into the trip. Where is the comfort? With five days left, it will be interesting. He saw a person playing a guitar on the sidewalk with a guitar case full of cash, probably more than he is making each day from the company that he is working for. But he also heard somebody say, “Hey, that’s the guy with the guitar,” and yodeling in the alley. It is a good idea to get some sleep right now, four and a half days left of the rally remain. Complications, of course, it wouldn’t be a story without them!

August 14, 9:50 pm

  The bar around the corner has a bartender that reminds him of the girl, although about three inches shorter and maybe 12 pounds lighter. The bar takes a credit card, and it is across the alley from where the camper is parked; it is convenient. Their firecracker poppers are excellent, the chili a different story. Last night they asked how the chili was, and he responded by saying at least gas station chili is no longer the worst chili he ever tasted! The bartenders look shocked and inform him that their chili is known statewide as being some of the best. Of course he doesn’t want to venture far into disparaging anything, as if white sauce with freezer burned pork can even be considered chili…

  Tonight he takes the brand new MacBook that is provided by the firm, into the bar to continue this story. Being able to to connect to the internet using this phone is opening up some options! Someone requests to hear his guitar, and that remains a possibility before the night ends. He hasn’t drank a margarita in years, once in the past five years, and they are not going to become a regular occurrence during the trip. It is Sturgis, and instead of sitting alone in the camper to write, margaritas are his favorite mixed drink when he decides to participate. The bar isn’t one of the busier in town during the rally, there are just over a dozen patrons. The service is slow, but he feels comfortable here.

   Masks. He doesn’t want to make them a part of the story, but it isn’t as if they don’t exist, and somewhere before the ending they may figure into the plot. Without getting into too deeply his stand on them, what he believes is the purpose of them, beyond what is popularly believed, he does not like them. Before the trip, when he was planning to make a video of the monkey song, he needed another ape mask because one was lost in the fire. The fire that has not gathered much attention even as it is a major turning point in the early stages of the story. Deciding that he needs a new mask to make the video, and that he might as well have fun with the mask situation because it doesn’t appear to be disappearing anytime soon, he also buys a few other unique masks. They were in the crate he built to ship his parcel west instead of checking it in as luggage. Parcel he still does not have because UPS lost it… 

  So, in Phoenix, he keeps misplacing the neat mask a friend buys him. A very good friend, like family. Having to make twenty or more stops a day in more congested areas like Phoenix; it is one hundred and twenty degrees, and often forgetting to bring the required mask until getting to the door, the mask requirement is becoming very frustrating. Deciding to have fun with it, he finds a fancy women’s lingerie store, buys an expensive bra and pair of panties the takes them to an alteration shop and has masks made out of them. The bra is good for two masks, the panties one. The employees at the lingerie store are very amused by his quest, and so are the three babes at the alteration shop. Bewildered at first, but it makes sense when they learn he is on his way to Sturgis. They even measured the distance around the front of his face to his ears! When he picks up the masks a few days later the lady is all smiles. She tells him they had a lot of fun playing around with the material and that he had “opened their minds.” 

   His masks get a lot of compliments. So does his leather bomber hat. The first hat is lost to the fire, and it wasn’t planned to allocate money toward another until agreeing to go on the trip. The “Drunk Wives Matter” teeshirt gets the most thumbs up. As soon as he sees them he realizes he has to buy them before they disappear, and they do sell out. There is the argument that the slogan disparages alcoholic women, but in reality it says they matter. There is also the argument that the slogan disparages the Black Lives Matter movement, but a black woman sold him the shirt!

   At the window along Main Street in Sturgis he is working, he counts how many people are wearing a mask. The first day the people walking in one direction are counted. Thirty people walk by without wearing a mask before two people walk by wearing the. Then he counts sixty seven more people without one before the one hundredth person walks by wearing one. Ninety-seven people with a mask, three with one. The next day he counts one hundred more. Forty people walk by without a mask before someone walks by wearing one. Then fifty-nine people walk by without wearing one. Ninety-nine people without, one with. Combined with the previous day’s count, the average is two people out of one hundred are wearing one. Enough about the masks, he doesn’t want the story to evolve around the masks, and it remains to be seen if the figure into the story later on. After all, he is barely a month into what is planned to be a yearlong story. 

August 18, 8:45 am

   Another count of one hundred people yields the exact same result, ninety-eight without a mask; two with.

   The rally is over. There are a few birds in the parking lot, picking up the seed thrown down for them. The very first day of arriving at Sturgis, within minutes of sitting down in a chair, a bird flies by his head, nearly making contact with his ear. That is a sign to go pick up a bag of seed. He will take the bag with him as he is preparing to leave.

   When first approaching Sturgis, driving north through Deadwood, he begins feeling that funny feeling of coming home for the first time in ages, a tingly so happy feeling of wanting to cry. He often feels it when he thinks of the girl. Sometimes it comes when he isn’t thinking of anything in particular. For certain, he feels it regularly every day.

   He goes to a bar for the first time in years, it is Sturgis. If he is going to a bar, it might as well be a bar that has a hot looking bartender walking back and forth above the bar. It just so happens that the bar next door to his base in Sturgis isn’t one of the busiest, and he likes that. After a long day of dealing with countless people, except for the counting required by the survey, a little calm is welcome. The bartender reminds him of her, but still about three inches shorter. He doesn’t pursue anybody at Sturgis, he loves the girl back home.

  There is a woman in Los Angeles that he has known for over thirty years, her family is like his family. He loves her also, and could be happy with her, but above all else he loves his home, even as it sits there in a pile of burned down debris, two thousand miles away. The girl in Los Angeles is not likely to want to spend the rest of her life in Maine. He is too honest to attempt juggling two romances. The birds tell him the girl back home is the one.

  If he takes the conventional approach, it takes years and a degree of frustration for her to discover who he really is and what he stands for. It will be months before he returns home to begin rebuilding. He will confront her again, but not to ask her for a date. He doesn’t ask a girl for anything, he gives her a choice.  He was originally scheduled to return in late October, or early November, but he tells his director that going home for the winter is not a necessity, he doesn’t mind exploring the entire state of California.

During the rally, he is sharing the building with the largest motorcycle club in the world. The first day didn’t go very well, as he and the liaison for the club renting the building get off on the wrong. He walks on eggshells for most of the week, as the issues come up. He works for the owner of the building, not the club. All week he is being scoped out by the club, and by the end of the week they are very cordial, and he ends up killing a half gallon of crown Royal over a barbecued dinner with the liaison to end the rally.

   He has worked around the club many years in the past, and other clubs, so he understands the do’s and don’ts of associating with them. He isn’t the club type, not wanting to tell him when to ride and when not to. If there is a club he would want to join, that would be the one. He doesn’t want to mention the club’s name, look up the largest motorcycle club in the world. He may agree with their way of doing things, but he supports their rights to do so. It isn’t a right written on a piece of paper; those aren’t rights. The right he is referring to is the right for a man to do whatever it is to survive in the manner that is best suited for him as an individual.

   He feels that they has their respect, doing what is expected of him, and not backing down. He certainly gets along with the liaison by the end of the rally, even accepting a compliment on his guitar playing. There is maybe a couple of hours of packing left to do, getting the truck ready to roll on. He wasn’t sure how to introduce the girl into the story. She is the center plot of the story when it begins back in October, then his mother passes away, and upon starting over, his cabin burns down. It’s time to finish packing, here comes that feeling again. It will be heavy for the rest of the day.

August 25, 12:04 am

Heavy enough to leave it all behind. He isn’t afraid of taking a beating, in whatever form they come in. Hopping behind the wheel, rolling on down the road with intent on getting to the necessary place, another time zone away at the precise time, satisfaction sets in. The relief of getting one job done and barreling into the next wave of progress. Taking those two days off to vegetate at a state park, sitting at a travel friendly truck stop he looks up the word hyperintense. Maybe his siblings are right, there could be something wrong in his head! He sees a bird wandering around the gas pumps about three hundred feet away. He sees the bird when he first pulls into the parking lot, a rather large bird, standing in the lot as if it is waiting for him, and the bag of sunflower seed.

   As it turns out, the refrigerator in the camper also runs on propane; which will save on ice and making keeping food instead of having to live on road food, and the ceiling light works without having to plug into an outlet! The initial sensation of having just completed nearly two days of doing nothing at all but stare into a little square screen, he turns on a bigger screen to continue the story. He misses his Bibles, and the structure they provide, but it is necessary to replace it, and writing the story appears to be the outlet that fills the void left by losing that connection to what is a purpose. The hour or two each day of studying scripture has to be devoted to the story, creating a new story, and another plot. At some point the delivery company seemingly should find that box, the one the bibles are in. After all, it is a big wooden box.

  At a supermarket today, he wonders how the supermarket incident with the girl will turn out if they are wearing masks. Even further back, the first time he sees her face. He goes in to a department store to get something for her, perhaps it is a frying pan. They are hanging just beyond the line of registers, so he grabs one and gets directly in line. He sees the pans earlier, knowing they are there and how much they cost. He doesn’t want to stand too close to the customer in front of him because that is just plain a violation of some sort when there is plenty of area behind the customer in front of him. But he can’t stand too far back because then he is standing in the middle of the market throughway, then he notices a girl at a register a few aisles down. A girl then becomes the girl. She is absolutely gorgeous, and tall, very tall, maybe six foot two or three. He watches her as she finishes what she is doing at the register, then she walks off to the left of the row of registers, circles around and nudges her way through that sacred space between him and the customer in front of him, as he also notices there is about ten feet of space behind him in the line that it would be much easier to pass around by. There is not an actual nudge involved in her cutting through that sacred space because he has to take a small step back to avoid contact. As she turns her shoulder slightly to squeeze through the small opening in line; at about six foot two her neck is barely below his level of sight, she is tall and her neck is momentarily rather close to her neck. His hyper intensive brain is thinking she purposely catches his attention, as she is walking away towards the other end of the store past the right of the registers, which would be might easier and shorter to have take that direction from the moment she finishes what she is doing at the registers when he first notices her. He returns to the car and tells his mother he has just seen the most beautiful woman on the planet.

  After months, maybe years of hoping he will see her again, he realizes that she has an advantage because she can see him enter the store from the parking lot through the large department store windows. Every time he sees her after that first time, she is always busy. Even as other customers are talking to her, she gives him the impression that her mind is always somewhere else; as if she has somewhere to go and that department store job was in her way. He wishes that he is talking to her instead of the other customers. But she is working and he doesn’t want to distract her from doing her job with idle chatter. He also doesn’t like pursuing a woman for personal reasons when she is working at an establishment that he frequents, that kind of behavior is against his code of conduct. If she is the one, then he will see her someday in another place. If he sees an attractive woman, he might pursue her for any reason but being “the one.” If she is the one there will be a second chance, and more. In the case of this special woman, it will have to be anywhere but the department store.

  At the time, he doesn’t get out much, once every week or two to take his mother to her appointments, and to get supplies for the cabin on top of the mountain. So every week or two he has to think of a reason to stop at the department store to catch a glimpse of that woman. Every time he sees her he feels enlightened for days. Every time he goes into town he hopes he will see her. When he does it is only for a fleeting glance because of not wanting her to catch him staring her down. One day he stands still in an aisle, as if he can’t find something. She stops what she is doing and walks over to him and asks if she can help him find something. He tells her pillow cases, all the while he is knowing exactly where those pillow cases are. They are at the far end of the store, on the backside of the very last aisle. 

  As time goes by, he doesn’t realize how long it has been since he has seen her, because time stands still at with every thought of her. She slips out of his thoughts, except during every stop at the department store. Enough time passes by to make him realize he really should open a dialogue with a potential mate. For several days a song has been echoing in his mind. It is a song by one of his favorite guitar players, if not his favorite. The song always sounds kind of commercial, instead of the normally hard rocking sound of that specific artist, so it isn’t one of Les’s favorites. But for some reason it is ringing in his brain, “I want to love you all night long.” Over and over for several days. Make no mistake, it is a rocking song, just not as rocking as some other material. 

  So on this particular day, a trip into town taking his mother to her appointments and do some shopping, he takes special care to dress up more than usual. He is going to get a woman’s phone number, that is the plan. Nothing is going on at any of the doctor’s offices, other than usual doctor’s office activity, he arrives at the supermarket. With a list and a grocery cart, he begins gathering items on the list with a spring in his step, and a melody in his head, “I want to love you all night long.” He whistles and hums the melody as he shops. He sees an attractive brunette woman with short hair, dressed really nice: conservative but really sharp. He suspects she is dressing upwards to get a man’s attention, and she does. He assesses her cart full of groceries; she probably has children, it is quite full. He isn’t about to pounce as he still has plenty of shopping to do, and he sees the woman several times; lingering or is she just taking her time making decisions? He proceeds to the dairy section, grabs a couple of items, when a pretty blonde woman is walking towards the dairy section, looking him straight in the eyes with a big smile, she says hello. He says hello to her as he walks past her in the opposite direction towards the coffee aisle. He has one more item on the list: coffee. He may have just found another item on his list, but he doesn’t commit to it. Reaching the coffee section he picks out the can of coffee that appears to have the highest caffeine content. Then he leans against the tall glass cooler in the shelves opposite of the coffee area. He isn’t in a hurry, he still doesn’t have a number. Then the blonde woman appears to pick her coffee, and he strikes up a conversation, asking her if she thought that the coffee he is choosing would be what his mother wants. He has not ever bought coffee in a can, because he doesn’t drink it regularly, not enough to buy a large quantity of it. 

  Then the brunette shows up with her shopping cart full of groceries and is kind of lingering just adjacent to the conversation he is having with the blonde. Suddenly it becomes complicated, which one should he pursue a number from, so he decides neither and abruptly leaves the conversation. As he nears the opposite end of the aisle that song begins echoing in his head again, “I want to love you all night long.” He is jus about three steps from the end of the aisle when he hears the blonde quite loudly, “Good luck!” With the song beating with his steps, he thinks to himself, “Yes,” he is a very lucky guy, maybe the luckiest guy one earth. As he takes those last two or three steps towards the end of the aisle, suddenly another cart appears from around the corner, and he has to abruptly to avoid a collision of carts. 

   He looks towards the shopper of the cart when instantly as if the supermarket lights go out, everything gets dark, and starts spinning around, like a storm. In the center of the storm are two bright blue lights, like giant globules of water suspended as if they were selecting the colors of a rainbow. He remembers driving a motorcycle along the coast of Hawaii, turning into a corner where the water is gathered from the fog and splash of ocean water, reflecting     light from the sun. The drops of iridescent water are surrounding him and the passenger on the motorcycle, as if they were driving in a rainbow. He can even see the little drops pulsating as they are suspended in the air.

When the supermarket light come back into view, and the spinning stops, a face appears from the center of the storm. It is the face of a young girl, she looks barely eleven years old, but she is tall. He can’t stare because she is so young, and surely her mother must be near, and he doesn’t want to offend anybody. He soon realizes she is older than eleven, at least sixteen. He pardons himself for getting in her way and takes a step backwards to let her pass by unobstructed. As she walks by he realizes that she is older than sixteen, and she is exceptionally tall! He notices her hair is tied up as she is walking past him to the far corner of the supermarket where the deli section is. He can’t take his eyes off her, she is tall, really tall! He doesn’t want to get caught staring at her, so he turns the corner and walks to the checkout area. He is still somewhat stunned at how tall she is, there aren’t many women that tall. As he nears the checkout, he begins thinking of how women that tall are rare, and that sparks the memory of the department store girl. She is tall like that, was that her? 

  He steps up to the checkout line wondering if that is the department store girl when he notices her in a hurry towards the dairy section at the complete opposite end of the supermarket from the deli section. When she turns the corner he notices her hair is down, and that she is the department store girl! She disappears behind the aisle, he turns and takes a couple of steps toward the register, waiting for the line in front of him to disappear. He turns back, and there she is at the end of the line two registers down, and she is looking him directly in the eye. He is now in a staring contest with the department store girl as she is absolutely, undeniably, inarguably staring him down. He has to turn away a couple of times to deal with checking out, and each time he looks back at her she is continuing to make heavy eye contact with him. He wants to talk to her, but he isn’t certain which way she will exit the market, to the right or the left. He doesn’t want to wait at the wrong door, and he doesn’t want to ambush her if she walks in the opposite direction, so he decides to do what he is there for and take the groceries to the car where his mother is waiting.

  He loads the groceries into the car, hops behind the wheel and tells his mother he has just seen the most beautiful woman on earth. “You always say that,” she remarks. He say, “Yes! About that one!” He remembers looking at her once while she is working at the department store, thinking to himself, if he can not have her, he wants one just like her. He starts the car, pausing to see if she walks out of the market. He puts the car into gear when he notices her exit the market. He puts his foot on the brakes. She is pushing her cart across the lot and it soon becomes clear that she is going to pass directly in front of his car. It takes barely a split second to decide he can not allow that to happen without saying something to her. After all, they just had a major stare down. He also isn’t about to roll down the window to talk to her, he has to put the car in gear, turn off the engine, get out of the car, confront her.

August 25, 9:56 pm

  Les gets out of the car, takes a few steps toward her and says, “Excuse me, don’t you work at the department store?”

  She stops pushing her cart, and standing there, the most beautiful woman Les has ever seen, proceeds telling him that she does not work there any more, that she presently works with children, and then she gives him a very detailed description of the building that she works in. Two visions spring into his mind at that moment, first Les has the impression that this woman is in the palm of his hand, and he envisions the two of them towering over a gigantic parking lot filled with a thousand happy children. Les is overjoyed to learn that she works with children, because Les loves working with children and tells her of some of her work with children.

  Those words no sooner spill out of lips when Les gets a message from IAH. IAM tells him that if Les wants to spend the rest of his life with this woman, then Les must shut his mouth, and without saying a word get back in the car. Without saying a word, he turns around, walks back to his car, gets in, closes the door, and sitting there staring straight ahead as she walks past, Les feels absolutely horrible. He has just hurt the woman he loves, and has loved, without her even having a clue about how he feels.

  IAH is Les’s invisible transparent friend. Everybody can see this friend, but most people choose to not acknowledge it is there. The g word, dog spelled backwards. Les spoke the g word for most of his life, and in his quest to get closer to the g word he is informed by IAH that the g word is a trap. Perhaps that is the purpose of this story, to lead others to IAH. 

  Over the next two weeks, Les asks several woman friends and family members if he should go to the building the former department store girl works at, and it is resounding unanimous decision that yes, he should go there, and he does. He walks into the waiting room and begins to inform the receptionist, Judy, why he is there. Judy tells him that she doesn’t know who he is describing because many people work there, but many work in the field and rarely appear at the office. Les knows she is not telling the truth because there is only one woman that tall who ever worked at the department store. Les also knows that he has to make a decent impression on Judy if he wants info on the tall girl. Two weeks later he returns, and Judy informs him that yes, she knows who the woman is that he describes. So Les leaves a letter he has written for the woman. He knows that this is not widely regarded as a wise move in what is regarded as the usual dating process. But this particular process requires extreme measures. He is taking the approach of a husband who commits a grave error, so his wife leaves him and refuses to talk to him. But he knows in time that his efforts will win him a chance to make it up to her, regardless of how long it takes.

  Les could move on, but he has dreams about her. In his dreams he is ascending into the heavens; as the earth disappears behind him the heavens open up. As they are opening, she appears to meet him and begins to remind him of every wrong he has committed in his life. 

  Les stumbles upon an account of the Shepherd of Hermas has the identical dream almost two thousand years ago. Les now believes that when his heart stops beating and he moves from his present form into another form, that IAH will take the form her to assist him with a new assignment. So all Les has to do is live out the rest of life on this earth the best he can, with or without the department store girl, because an alternate version of her awaits him in the heavens.

August 27, 11:40 pm

A lot of driving today. A stop in Mobridge for the first somewhat normal dinner is very refreshing, then a visit to Sitting Bull’s and Sakakawea’s monuments is very peaceful, and he finds a souvenir in the form of a bird feather. It is a beautiful day for a drive, it is a beautiful place to be driving. Taking a scenic route to send postcards from a specific location resulted in thirty miles of very rough roads under construction. Difficult to gather any momentum due to the bumps, requiring to be rather alert as well. Then near the Dakota Montana line the lightning show begins, a flash every ten seconds, often many flashes at the same time, lighting up the sky. Then the wind and rain begins, either of them enough to slow down progress. At times the rain was so heavy it is completely blinding, until a big flash of lightning lights things up. It is tempting to stop at one point, but the uncertainly surrounding the duration of the storm being unknown, with a great lack of desire to be parked on the highway during a violent storm; Les opts for pushing forward.

He When Les is growing as a young boy, he imagines being an explorer, paddling a canoe with Sakakawea sitting behind him in the canoe. The very first dream Les ever has about the department store girl is of the two of them in a canoe together, navigating a mirrored pond. As Les is leaving the monument site, he hears Sakakakwea thanking him for having her along; she is very pleased with the department store girl taking her place and that all along she was only occupying that position temporarily because forever it belongs to the department store girl. The department store girl has a name, but first, back to the beginning of the story, although another sub plot is developing: how long will Waylon Jennings remain in the truck stereo? It is being there for over three weeks now.

August 28, 11:42

  Today Les can’t get his mind off the girl sitting behind him in the canoe. He drives a total of over three hundred and fifty miles throughout the day, starting at around ten in the morning, with a few stops to take care of business, and gets to where he wants to start tomorrow at around six in the evening. The thoughts are very intense, it doesn’t seem possible that these feelings can still be so strong after so little interaction after two years. Anticipation. He knows he will see her again, and has only interacted with her for three very short lengths of time: minutes. But, back to the canoe.

  Generally, the person at the rear of the canoe is controlling the direction and pace of the canoe, but not necessarily always. Les has not ever been married, and has had three relationships average about four years, with a few that were nowhere near that long. He has not ever been willing to compromise for the sake of the relationship, and all of a sudden this girl is steering his canoe? He thinks the dream signifies his desire to trust her, allowing her to steer him in any direction she wishes because he does trust her. He has been everywhere he wishes to go, would he leave his mountain to live with her? He doesn’t know, and for some reason he doesn’t believe that will be an issue. He will give her permission to guide him as she learns how to take advantage of his talents, and he has many.

   Perhaps he is willing to compromise with this girl because he feels she is the one he has hoped for his entire life; the one he will not ever leave, just because of the way she looks at him. He encounters difficulty when he looks at her because he forgets where he is as everything begins spinning. Perhaps that is why she sits at the rear of the canoe because if she sits in front, he will drift into another world the same way he does when playing a guitar. When he looks into her eye everything else disappears. Perhaps that is why he has to take so long to get to the point with her, to prepare himself, to look deep inside himself to discover what it is he really wants, beyond a pretty girl. The possibility that she might rebuff his intentions is not even a consideration. She may have discounted him after the awkwardness of his unconventional approach, but he intentionally wants to take the maximum time allowable to permanently win her affection. And he will win it.

August 30, 10:20 pm

 What if she is the one who wishes to be guided? What if she is the one who wants her man to be in control of all the major decisions that confront them? There are right decisions and there are wrong decisions, Les doesn’t believe in the gray area between what is right or wrong. He believes that gray area of uncertainty is the result of a lack of information. The number one priority of a human should be a healthy body and mind, not only good personal health of body and mind, but the good health of body and mind of others. But the priority of others isn’t always good health of body and mind, and there are many opinions of exactly what good health of body and mind is comprised of. Concerning the body, good health might be defined as whatever it takes to remain breathing as long as possible. Obviously, the better a person takes care of their body, the longer it should last, excluding unforeseen consequences. 

  There are so many people who work hard to give others the impression of being healthy of body and mind, yet when they get in the shadows, or behind closed doors, they are not behaving in a healthy manner. What a person does in their own private space usually is not anybody else’s business, but getting dressed and exiting the bedroom doesn’t automatically make somebody moral. Morality is more what a person does in private than in public, as there are countless examples of people who pretend to be moral to accomplish their agenda, but are far from being moral. Hypocrisy could be the number one reason why society fails. If everybody is honest, then problems can be solved. But when people are not honest, problems arise and fester. Take alcoholism for example. There are people who do not want alcohol involved in their circle in any way. They trust somebody who they believe doesn’t drink, but when that person is alone, they drink because they believe they won’t get caught.

  The same goes for sex, the good girl in church is a dirty slut. Or the Sunday school teacher likes little boys. Or maybe the school teacher is a porn star in her private life. These are violations of trust. How can a teacher teach others the value of a healthy mind when they are not wholesome in their private life? It is not anybody’s business what others do in private? Of course it is, when it involves the general health of a community. If a bartender wants to misbehave in private, that is generally not affecting their community. Most people in a bar will probably support most unhealthy private practices. But a teacher, no. Teaching should not be do as I say, but not as I do. Teachers are supposed to lead by example. Is a marriage counselor who has been divorced really able to give good advice?

  Les has not ever been married because he doesn’t ever want to get a divorce. The best way to avoid being divorced is to avoid being married. People change over time, and he hasn’t ever trusted anybody enough to take that leap of faith. There have been some close calls, but better judgement prevailed. He once flushed a four thousand dollar engagement ring down a toilet. People tell him he should have sold it, but Les responds saying the ring was for her, if she isn’t going to wear it, nobody is. It became an issue, some days she would wear it, others she wouldn’t; she is trying to manipulate Les’s emotions with the ring, and that does not end well. Let’s take a look at Les’s life, how he comes to be what he is.

  On his day of birth into this world, he is placed in an oxygen tent for a week, something to do with an irregular heart beat. That right there should explain everything. His heart doesn’t beat normally. Not exactly off to a running start. His mother remarries b

When Les is six months old. Les didn’t really know his father, but he heard a lot of good stories about him. Les’s mother remarried when he was six months old, so Les’s father wasn’t around long. His mother tells Les that his father likes a variety of women, and that is the cause of their divorce. But later in life Les learns that there are three sides to every story, his side of the story, her side of the story, and what really happens. Les leaves home at an early age so he doesn’t have to listen to his mother’s constant preaching, and that is most likely why his father leaves.

  His mother was a Sunday school teacher, a very devout Christian, and Les falls for the Jesus story hook, line, and sinker.If her next choice of a husband is of the same belief, Les’s life would most likely turn out completely different. But, she marries a drunk. A mean drunk, a mean abusive drunk. Les is beaten and tortured physically and emotionally for the next fifteen years of his life. He isn’t well behaved because of an internal desire to do good, he is well behaved because he is in fear of getting a more severe beating than the usual routine beating if he somehow does wrong. That alone is enough to cause severe psychological impairment, and there are others who may have worse childhoods, but that isn’t the only cause of Les’s unconventional way of perceiving the world. When he is seven years old, his mother is about to drop him off at the babysitters. The babysitters are very well respected in the community, prominent in the church, and teaching at the school. Les flips out and has an emotional breakdown. His mother tries to get him to tell her why Les doesn’t want to go to the babysitters, but he is afraid to tell her. As it turns out, Les is not the only boy who has problems with the babysitters. Later in life Les is asked to testify against the babysitters, but he refuses, saying they will get an even worse punishment when their time is due. He is not sure when the abuse at the babysitters begins, but he remembers trying to do something with a girl that the babysitters are doing to him at a very early age, so he estimates that the babysitters are abusing him when he is four years old until he is seven. Les is open about what happens there, not once ever trying to hide it.

  Les doesn’t like dirty secrets, even though he may a few of his own, but he has not ever done anything to anybody against their will. No means no. He is not proud of some of the things he has done, and most of the people that Les knows would not want to hear about those experiences anyway. There is an opinion that because of what happens to a child at an early age often causes them to seek out similar activities when they get older. That is not the case with Les, Les likes the opposite sex, and has not ever experimented with anyone but the opposite sex. He used to hate gay people, until he moves to a big city where sexual preference is not as condemned as it can be in smaller towns. He doesn’t understand how a man can be attracted to another man, but he also understands how a man can no longer be attracted to a woman.

  So Les, with his psychological issues, eventually turns to drugs and alcohol, of course. It is quite easy to do when most of the people he befriends are doing the same. He starts smoking tobacco at the age of five, drinking alcohol at eleven, and experimenting with drugs at fourteen. Eventually he quits them all because they do not correspond with having a healthy body and mind.

  Les remembers his first day at school. He learns to read at the age of four, so when the teacher is asking questions on that first day of school, Les has all the answers. The teacher then tells Les to stop raising his hand to let the other students have a chance. Being a hard worker in an attempt to avoid excessive punishment from his stepfather, Les naturally takes to doing homework, and is eventually separated from the other students. There are some students who are jealous of Les being singled out as more advanced than the rest of the class, and that is when he learns that nobody likes the smartest kid in the class until they need help with their homework. When he is in the sixth grade, he places seventh in the state spelling bee for classes kindergarten through the twelve grade. He is being prepared for college, and could go to any college of his choice for free, but when he gets into high school, he doesn’t like being told what to do and how to think, and gets into trouble for asking too many questions. He realizes that if wants to learn anything, he can learn on his own and doesn’t want anybody telling him what books to read.

  Les loves to read, and to write. He spends a lot of his youth in his bedroom, alone, to avoid crossing paths with his stepfather because his stepfather does not ever fail to hit or kick him when nobody is looking; usually a foot to his rear, or the backhand knuckles to the face. He also learns how not to cry, because crying will expose what his stepfather is doing to him. When Les is fourteen, maybe fifteen, he is finally big enough to put an end to the stepfather’s aggressive child raising tactics. It also put an end to his siblings using Les’s fear of their father to their advantage, and for their entertainment. 

  Les’s love of reading doesn’t end when his mother gives him permission to quit school. He then decides to only read reference material and non-fiction, he is only interested in the truth, facts, and knowledge. He has just finished reading two books, The History of the World, and the History of Music. Les loves music and is very knowledgeable of popular music at that time, of course. When he likes something he studies every available piece of literature he can find pertaining to the subject. While wondering what to read next, he sees his mother’s bible. It is a large study bible that she has from going to a Christian Bible study college. She teaches Sunday school for many years. At this time Les believes that the Bible is an indisputably accurate account of history, so it qualifies as something he can read. He starts from the beginning, and it takes him about a year to finish. He is very fascinated by it, especially reading about what men are going through thousands of years before him; their thoughts and desires, their actions. What amazes him most is having a new experience during the day, and then picking up where he leaves off the Bible the day before, to have a man describing exactly the same circumstances those thousands of years earlier.

  When Les finishes reading the Bible, there is no epiphany or premonition, and he has no intent to read it again. He tries to be a good Christian, which means he gets drunk, maybe has premarital sex, then goes to Church on an occasional Sunday to be forgiven. His mother gives him a book about how to combine dreams, the dreaming process of going to sleep and having dreams, before he is finished with the bible. Les always has very vivid dreams, and an occasional nightmare. When he first begins reading the bible, his dream patterns also change, he begins dreaming of things, and then seeing them the next day. Of course he can not prove this to anybody, so he does not share this information with others.

One morning, Les is living in an eight by twelve plywood camp his uncles helps him build so he can have his own place. He loves the mountain, it is always his safe haven, and is planning to build a place up on the very top. It is land that his uncle bought from Les’s grandfather. Les spends a lot of time at his grandparents as he is growing up, almost half his time, not knowing why his mother brings him there. When he is five, Les is very depressed with his life and regularly sits in a back bedroom with a loaded shotgun in his mouth, not wanting to experience any more of the suffering his stepfathers and babysitters provide. The only reason he does not pull the trigger is because he knows his grandmother will be the first to find him. He imagines her hearing the shot, then running into the room to find Les’s brains splattered all over the walls and ceiling, and realizes he can not do this to her. Les loves her too much, maybe even more than his own mother, but they each have a special place in his heart. All he knows is that when he is on the mountain, nobody is hurting him, hitting him. Not once does Les ever hold his mother accountable for the abuse he receives because of her decisions, she only ever hit him once when he came home late one summer, drunk, a teenager. He always reasoned that they were in this situation together, doing the best they could do to survive. She is now buried, and recently with a new headstone. His siblings do not inform him of this, he learns from somebody else. It will be several more months before he can visit her again, which will be a very emotional moment.

  That wonderful feeling of going home, it is a happy feeling, but it can also make one want to cry. It is the exact same feeling he feels whenever he thinks of the department store girl, and it just won’t go away. He cannot find another woman to help him forget about her, because all he wants to do is talk about her. Nothing works, and that adds to the drama of returning home. When he is on his mountain he has ways of occupying himself to alleviate the constant thinking of her. But out on the road, driving for hours, the thoughts continue to accumulate, and he only can think of seeing her again. Les has suffers from a lot of personal loss recently, his dog, his mother, and his cabin with almost all his belongings. But he is still alive, and when he returns home, the sparks will be flying when he confronts the girl. Perhaps he is setting himself up for a major disappointment, but he is used to that. But he cannot get to where he has to be without thinking he will take the girl with him, until he realizes that she isn’t going with him. That is not positive thinking. Besides, IAH has already told him that when he goes into the next life, a likeness of the girl will meet him there.

  So Les is sleeping in that plywood camp one morning. There is not much in the camp. A small bed, a chair, a wood stove, a small table, and a picture hangs on the wall. There are no windows, so Les pretends the picture is a window. It is a picture of a palm tree on a white sandy beach. One morning, Les opens his eyes and there is a man sitting on the chair next to the bed. The man is wearing a white robe, and has long while hair and a long white beard. Les can not remember what the man is saying, and he thinks he is dreaming. Yes, les has very vivid dreams and has learned how to actually be aware that he is dreaming when he is in a dream. The man finishes talking, then gets up and opens the door then leaves. Les is laying there, just having seen the man leave the door open after exiting, still thinking he is dreaming. Les gets up to close the door, realizing he is not dreaming because he just watched that man walk out the door.

  Les begins reading the Bible again, his mother’s big reference bible. This time he also reads every reference and footnote. When he is reading it the first time, he sometimes feels that these old spirits are trying to tell him something, and by just reading the many names, seemingly insignificant other than their place in the bloodline, but by reading their names he is also summonsing their spirits. Not in any witchcraft kind of way, but by connecting with their positive energy. There is one name in the book that catches Les’s attention, that name is God, Lord, Jehovah, and I AM. Years later he discovers another alternative name in a verse, Psalm 68.4, although it is not translated the same in all versions of the bible. It is well known to his family, friends, and peers, that Les likes to do research, and he begins researching the origins of the bible. He also asks a pastor about that name, the g word. The pastor tells him that isn’t important. Les then realizes he has to decide who to trust, the pastor or the book. The book says the name is very important, and stops going to church. It takes many years of study for Les to arrive to a conclusion on the name issue, and that does not happen without Les discovering a new science: etymology. He also begins studying alternate versions of the Bible. It takes twelve years to finish his mother’s study bible, and it is barely holding together, so he retires it. The next version is the same translation, but without footnotes, and he reads it backwards so he can claim that he has read the Bible frontwards and backwards. He is very knowledgeable on the subject, and people begin calling him a bible scholar, but it really hasn’t changed his behavior that much. Still drinking and smoking, and frequently with a woman he doesn’t love. Well, he loves her, but she doesn’t make his head spin whenever he looks at her. There is only one woman who has ever done that. Since reading it backwards without footnotes takes about a year, Les estimates that the study version taking twelve years to read every footnote is the same as reading the entire book twelve times, because the amount of time he spends on it daily does not vary until later in his story, as it increases. An hour each day average eventually increases to over two hours, but that is getting too far ahead at this point of this story.

  Etymology, the study of words and their origins. There are other discoveries at this approximate point in his life, resulting from wanting to know why those planes are leaving so many trails in the sky, and while he is researching the name he stumbles across a video about the World Trade Center. He has not ever watched the video of it falling to the ground, he purposely avoids watching it, but then on this day he decides to watch it, unaware of the major change about to happen in his life. He leaves the mountain years earlier to go waterskiing, then ends up in Los Angeles, homeless on the streets. This story is intended to be a daily account of Les’s life, not a story of his life. But he has a couple of days off, and not much is happening at the campsite he finds, and the plot of this story certainly does need to develop more, or develop a plot, because he isn’t exactly sure what that plot is.

  It started as a rags to riches story, where he becomes more successful than most people give him credit for and then wins the girl, in one year, by following a certain routine. By the time he gets home and confronts the girl, whether she accepts his proposal or not is too early in the time frame of the story, so that isn’t the plot. He has starts playing a couple of Waylon Jennings’ songs on his guitar, To Satisfy You being the first, so Waylon might remain in the truck stereo for the remainder of the trip. That is the only song that he consistently hits the repeat button during the song being played. The original plot was to earn one hundred thousand dollars in one year, starting from scratch, with just a guitar. One million dollars sounds more impressive, but one hundred thousand will be more than enough to be effective, especially living on the mountain. All he has to do is convince five thousand people to give him twenty dollars. That is an average of almost fourteen people each day for a year. He has a plan on how to do this, but then the phone rings. He is asked to fly to California and help a friend. He accepts the challenge. His mother no longer needs him, he lost all his tools and home to a fire, it is time to go exploring again. He gets paid to explore. He wouldn’t get paid to explore if he isn’t really good at it, especially under such abnormal circumstances, which make him want to go explore even more. It is a trip he can take next year if he wants. He could easily just move back to California, but that is not the plan. He loves his mountain too much, and he leaves for too long a time, he might not have the option of going there again, except to visit. He imagines the department store girl accompanying him on this same trip next year. Daily, hourly, he imagines her next to him. In the truck sitting next to him, in the middle of the seat, because when there are together they require being as close together as each circumstance allows. He is always holding her hand. He positions the rearview morrow so he can look into her eyes while he is driving so he doesn’t have to take his eyes off the road very far. She tells him when he needs to turn so he doesn’t have to look at the map. The girl in the back of the canoe. He wants her to tell him what to do and where to go. He already knows what to do and where to go, and doesn’t require hearing it from her, but he wants to hear it from her. If he is going to earn one hundred thousand dollars in one year, he will want her help, because she is the only one he will trust to have his best interests in mind. His best interests is whatever her best interests are. He feels that she has a general intent for the betterment of society, although her approach will most likely be evolving with the more she learns about him. There is a right way and a wrong way, anything in between is the result of a lack of information.

August 31, 5:19 pm

  When Les began exploring different religions, the Jewish g word made the most sense, because it is the only religion of the main religions that prohibits worshipping any kind of object. It isn’t until the Christians begin involving the cross when the promoters of the Bible begin worshipping an object, the cross. It is in the videos of the nine eleven disaster when Les learns something, that the tenth letter of the alphabet, the letter j is introduced into the English alphabet. Then Les is wondering what is Jesus’ name if there isn’t a letter j? So he buys a replica of a 1560 Geneva bible, printed before the letter j, and that is when what Les believes begins to crumble. It tells a slightly different story, actually confirming some questions Les has about the story that more recent bibles tell. He has long suspected that the Levites already corrupted the Torah, the Old Testament, to protect and maintain their cash cow. He then finds a Young’s Literal translation from 1898, and that is the icing on the cake. Many Bibles have a forward that explains how each bible is coming into existence. Most of them say and then there was light, which suggests that light was, and not is, when the Young’s translation says and light is. That makes more sense to Les, to be where light is, not where it was. The literal translation also describes one of the ten commandments as not to make any similitude of anything on earth. But the new bibles say not to make a graven image. The preachers will swear until they are blue in the face that means not to carve anything from wood or stone to worship it. There is a big difference between those two meanings, and Les does not want to risk his potential of living an everlasting life, so he is going to side with the similitude definition.

  It all is rather complicated, connecting so many dots. Samuel Clemons writes that it is easier to fool somebody than to convince them they have been fooled. Les has difficulty letting go of some long held beliefs, but the Holy Spirit assures him that he is on the right path. When he is attending a Hungarian church regularly for a few months, he sits in the front row where nobody usually sits, and he does not understand a single word in the beginning. People are confused and ask him why is he there, Les replies that if the Holy Spirit has a message for him, it doesn’t matter what language it is in.

  Eventually Les arrives to believe that the Jesus story is not a true story, that there may have been a man who does miracles, we all are capable if we have the faith, but the cross story is designed to convince people to believe in an ancient satanic symbol: a cross, the letter x. Les also fasts forty days and forty nights with water only. Everybody is thinking that Les is going to die, surely nobody can last that long? Yet, many people believe that Moses and Jesus do it, but nobody else can? Les proves everybody wrong, he survives, and his life is not ever the same. Using old bibles and an old concordance, Les concludes that the Holy Spirit is IAH, that feeling when something goes incredibly right and the hands raise in the air! Yes!! Most people think Les is off a little mentally, but that isn’t anything new… Oh, it’s okay to believe that somebody walks on water could be considered off as well. He also finds the Jesus story repeated throughout history predating Christ; enhanced with more current events so people are more easily led to believe it. There are so many details relative to Les’s discovery. He doesn’t want to insult people, but he also wants them to open themselves to other possibilities beyond the same fables that society practically forces the minions to believe. One ancient piece of wisdom that Les discovers is that every single person believes in a higher power, and if they deny it they are a liar. He can use old scripture to verify that the Holy Spirit is indeed IAH, and that any other name is intentionally misleading the souls into darkness. The old bibles also do not mention angels or demons, they are called messengers, and that the devil is only doing his job. If IAH created everything, then He must have created the devil as well and have a good reason for doing it. The misconception that nobody can go to heaven without believing in Jesus? If IAH is all powerful, then no intermediary is needed. The old translations do not mention a heaven, they are referred to as heavens, which is in line of Les’s belief of infinite dimensions. 

  Les just wants love, to love and be loved, that is why he has spent most of his life exploring the Holy Spirit because he wants to be sure that he is moving in the right direction when he is being transferred into the next life? Castles, mansions, holy palaces, streets lined with gold? That is not the heaven that Les envisions where everybody is gathered to sit around and do nothing. He believes he has a purpose and when he is transferred he will learn his new purpose. Energy does not ever stop working. Etymological research on the words Jesus, God, and Lord persuade Les to stop using those words, and he removes them from several bibles, along with the words cross and church.

  What does Les believe love is? Love is patient, love is kind, love is not jealous, boastful, proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable nor resentful. Love does not fly off the handle. Love is not glad at wrong doing. Love is always happy with the truth. Love doesn’t give up, love doesn’t lose faith. Love is always hopeful, enduring through every circumstance. That is why we do not give up. Our bodies will perish, but our spirit is being renewed every day. Our present troubles are small and won’t last very long, yet they produce for us a treasure that will last forever. So we do not look at the trouble we can see now. Instead we set our sights on things that can not be seen. For things we see now will soon be gone, and the things we can not see will last forever.

  Les does not believe that Judas is the traitor, but that it is the other eleven apostles that are conspiring to kill him, but that story wouldn’t sell as many copies. If anybody would research King James, they would not trust the book he is credited with, and today’s bibles are not even a King James translation. So the lie begins before even opening the book. If a story is only ninety-nine percent true, it is not a true story. The truth is the truth, even if nobody believes it. A lie is still a lie even if everybody believes it. Les has firsthand knowledge of dishonest teachers, preachers, and guidance counselors. Leading others to believe they are clean, moral, wholesome people, yet destroying children’s lives to fulfill their appetite for lust. It is generally regarded as nobody else’s business what others do in their private time, but if someone is influencing children, then it becomes the business of those children’s parents. A person can not teach a child restraint, if they can not control their own lusts.

  The scriptures define the greatest love as risking one’s life to save another, and also, which Les believes is the most accurate, “If you love me you will do what I say.” It is that passage that leads Les to believe that Judas is not the traitor, because he is the only one that does not argue with the Christ. Les believes that all organized religion is designed to lead the soul into darkness, and that it is only the pursuit of love that leads the soul into the light.

  So, if Les loves this girl, what if she wants to be led by Les, and not be the dominant head of the household? If Les loves her, he will do anything she asks. He does not believe in being a leader because he does not like being led. If she loves him, she will not ask him do do anything against his beliefs. Les has thought he was in love before, but he has not ever put himself in this position, allowing himself to feel such great emotions for any one person, except perhaps his grandmother. She is the only person on earth that Les can not ever remember saying no to. Why would he? He doesn’t consider that the girl will say no to his advances, that is out of the question, because in love there can be no doubt, and he cannot imagine any other man ever enduring such circumstances for the opportunity to hold her hand. 

  The Hungarian pastor and Les become very close, with common interests. The pastor tells Les that children love Les, and old people love Les, but not too many in between. Les has a story about an experience he has with teaching children, here is that story, and then it is back to this story.

  Les is working for a high powered attorney, the attorney and his wife take Les in as one of their own. He gets more done than most others, works longer and harder, and is honest to a fault on occasion. The attorney and his wife are like Les’s brother and sister, Les would do anything for them. They have an autistic son, Jeremy, who is seventeen. He is playing on a Special Olympics basketball team, and then he gets cut from the team. The coaches of the team say that Jeremy is a health risk while playing basketball. He sometimes goes into convulsions, and is always throwing himself at the floor in pursuit of the ball. In other words, he is leaving all he has on the court. The team has not ever been defeated, they are the best of the A division. Jeremy also is occasionally incoherent and not always easy to coach. The A team doesn’t need him, and he creates more work than they are willing to endure, so they take the easy way out and cut him.

  Jeremy’s mother is devastated, it can be difficult to keep an autistic child occupied, and Jeremy loves basketball. Sop she asks Les if he would coach a team if she enlisted enough players. Les agrees, thinking she will get some players, go to the park and play basketball. She enlists over thirty players, all autistic, players that were not good enough to play on the other teams. Les played basketball, and is quite a sports enthusiast until he grows out of the games and spends more time studying. He also is familiar with the fundamentals of basketball, and has experience playing on a junior varsity team until he is cut from the team for not cutting his hair. He has absolutely zero experience coaching. 

  Jeremy’s mother, Lydia, also secured them time at a brand new state of the art basketball court at the local high school. So there is Les, with thirty something autistic children ages eleven to seventeen, and a whistle. He anticipates that most of these children are not getting enough exercise, so he begins the practice with stretches and exercises. It also burns a good twenty minutes and allows him to figure out what his next step will be, as the parents of the children have him under a microscope. So, he goes through a few fundamentals, runs a few simple drills, and suddenly the practice is over! Les is relieved. He doesn’t approach the children as being handicapped, or as children. He approaches them as basketball players, believing that some of these kids will probably be playing basketball their entire lives, so it is good to teach them the basics as they grow and improve. He also makes very good use of the whistle, and is not afraid to be loud and demanding with the children to keep them in line, and engaged, not letting them wander.

  As it turns out, the parents are very impressed with Les and they way he runs the practice. Over the next three years many of them complimented him saying that their children improve in many areas of their life outside of the basketball court. Special Olympics also takes notice, it is not a good look for them to have so many autistic kids playing basketball without their involvement. Les comes up with a name for the team, the Slammerz, the Calabasas Slammerz. The Special Olympics committee say they can not fund the team, but it isn’t as if these parents are hard up. The Slammerz now have uniforms, plenty off balls, and after a few practices, they begin to provide assistants for Les. They also offer to put Les on the Special Olympics payroll, but he refuses, saying he is only doing it for the children; knowing that if takes their money he will be beholden to them. It became clear early on, that these assistants  are trying to hijack the program. The committee is also trying to imply that Les is not qualified to be coaching the children, but the parents tell the committee that if Les isn’t the coach, their children will play basketball somewhere else. One after another, the assistants quit. Lydia asks Les if he has a problem with women, and he says no, he has a problem with those who are trying to take over the program. Then the day comes, their first game. A tournament.

  It is quite an event, and Les notices that the children remain in single file behind him, without any regard to their parents, it is almost overwhelming because of the size of the event, thousands of people. Les is their leader. They are classified as a D team, and when they finally get to the court, Les looks at the other team and begins to believe his team is about to get crushed and demoralized. The other team is comprised of adult men, many over six feet tall, the SLammerz are children, only one boy is at least six feet tall. And as soon as the game begins, Les realizes that the other team is also handicapped, with autism being the equalizer; and the Slammerz actually have a chance to win. They do! Not only do they win the game, but they win their remaining games, the tournament and the D class gold medal! During the three years that he is coaching, the Slammerz enter into eight tournaments, winning five gold medals and two silvers. They also improve, gradually becoming a borderline B team, which means stiffer competition. If Les can teach them the pick and roll, they will be an A team.

  There is a game in which they are losing, but not from lack of effort. Not all thirty kids are suited up, only twelve, and Les tries to make certain that every child plays meaningful minutes, regardless of the score. A timeout is called, and the kids, his kids as he likes to call them, are obviously exhausted. Beet red faces, gasping for air, giving everything they have on the court. During the timeout, the current assistant provided by the Special Olympics committee begin yelling at the kids, telling them they are not trying hard enough, nor playing good defense. She tells them that they need to keep their hands in the air, and that at the next practice they are going to do pushups to build up their arm strength. nThe kids look a little demoralized, and obviously exhausted. Les then speaks out with a loud firm voice, “We are not doing pushups at basketball practice.” The assistant then gets up into Les’s face and asks how dare he go against her in front of the kids. Les responds by saying at last recollection he is the coach and he determines how practices are run. That is the last assistant that the committee provides, and they are not liking Les at all.

  Before long, the high school where they practice allows their students to participate as assistants in return for earning extra credits. That is when the program begins to flourish. Then one night a parent runs on to the court from the bleachers and asks Les how he can help. Having so many assistants allows the practice to be much more structured, they are a team, they are a family. But Les’s job is becoming more demanding and more stressful, and he begins to believe that he can not coach much longer. When he gets out of work to coach, he is stressed to the max, but every time practices end, he is still thankful for being there. Then comes the time for his last tournament. Because of an earthquake and a religious holiday, many teams do not show up.

  In order to hold the tournament, all the teams attending are grouped into one tournament, regardless of their classification. That includes the committee’s special pet A team, that has not ever been defeated. As the seeding plays out, the Slammerz win out and will play for the gold against the pet A team. He doesn’t think his team will win, he only hopes they are not embarrassed. As the game begins, the Slammerz jump out to a quick lead, and Les now thinks if he coaches just right, they have a shot at winning. Then the other team calls a time out, and when play resumes it is clear to Les what is happening. The A team is completely mugging the Slammerz, and no fouls are being called. The opposing coaches most likely told their players to do whatever it takes to get the ball, and not to worry about the referees. The referees are obviously on the take because they are not calling any fouls whatsoever. During the timeouts, the Slammerz are practically in tears, with scrapes, cuts, bruises, they say, “They are hurting us!” Les insists over and over that they should not get angry, or retaliate, but just play good basketball. Les continually is complaining to the refs. The other team has taken the lead, and it isn’t looking good for the Slammerz. After one uncalled foul, Les is barking at the referees, when a referee blows his whistle, walks over to Les, pointing his finger at Les, and tells Les if he says one more word he will be ejected from the game.

  Les believes that is what inspired his team, because they battle back from a healthy deficit to tie the game. With fifty-five seconds left, one of the Slammerz goes into the air to take a shot, when four of the other team players grab him in midair and slam him to the court, with the fifth player soon to jump on top of the pig pile. Les throws his arms in the air, not wanting to speak, but he doesn’t have to. Several parents come down from the stands and begin yelling at the referees, asking them if their children are safe to continue playing. So the ref calls a flagrant foul, two points, a foul shot, and possession of the ball. They also hang on to win the game. There is one more obstacle for Les to cross.

  At the medal ceremony, basketball medals are last to be given out because it it the glamor sport of the games. At the medal ceremony, more of the A team’s coaches is the emcee. When he gets to the silver medal, he begins to describe the championship game as being very hard fought, and that the committee is deciding to give both teams gold medals. He asks if anybody objects. nLes is standing there, realizing he has about fifteen seconds to decide on this matter; a decision that could haunt him for the rest of his life. He raises his hands. The two opposing coaches then rush over to Les, getting right up into his face and ask him what is his problem. Les responds by saying, “We beat you,” and he doesn’t want to have to explain to his kids why the team they just beat, that none of them were good enough to play for, gets a gold medal. They may have psychological issues, but they are not dumb. And they know the difference between winning and losing. Why didn’t they give everybody else a gold medal. The two opposing coaches look at each other, as one asks the other if that is okay. The other coach, with his eyes to the floor, shakes his head yes. The Slammerz win, and the other team is not fair and square, but the Slammerz are. Some of the kids left the complex before the medal ceremony, so Les has three extra medals. He has not kept a single medal from the previous parents, and he is hoping they can be given to the kids at the next practice, their first without Les. The remaining parents tell Les to keep them, he has earned them. He still has them, they are not in the cabin, when the cabin burns down. The cabin, this story mentions it burns, but is not giving much detail about the incident. It is time to tell that story.

September 1, 9;39 pm

After living in Los Angeles for twenty-three years, Les moves back to his hometown in Maine. He has been visiting every winter to help his uncle Walt prepare Walt’s fire wood for the upcoming months of ice and snow, and Les has a little camp that Walt gave him, which he has been trying to fix up. It started out as a complete disaster area, but Les has a lot of experience cleaning up and making improvements on disaster areas. The goal is to spend more time there every year, eventually bringing his work there with him. He has not been planning to move completely out of Los Angeles, but then he catches pneumonia from a long motorcycle ride one early morning in a cold, pouring rain. 

  He hadn’t been feeling well for a few days, and actually goes to the doctor’s appointment he has to get a minor procedure done. Since he has health insurance through work, he decides to use it. The nurse tells him he has a temperature of one hundred and two. The next day Les calls the doctor and asks what he should be doing, the doctor replies that he just has to take his medicine. Les asks what medicine, he does not have any. So now Les has to ride all the way back to the hospital to get his prescription, and can barely walk. It is a nice, sunny day, so Les doesn’t take a jacket. It is Southern California… He gets about halfway there and it starts pouring; so hard he has to keep pulling under the gas station canopies.

  He gets his medicine, and two days later he is called into the CEO’s office. The CEO informs him that he is terminated. Les asks him why? It has nothing to do with his job performance. Every time Les takes a job, he becomes family because the employers know they are getting an above average performance. Every family has dysfunction, Les is the scapegoat. If it is just pneumonia or being fired, Les stays in Los Angeles, but he has too many valuable things in storage and does not want to risk losing them. So he scratches enough money together, rents a twenty-four foot moving truck, packs his motorcycles, tools, music equipment, everything he collected over twenty-three years after arriving to Los Angeles with just a suitcase, one hundred dollars; which he spent half of his first night there, and living on the streets for nine months. 

  He moves into the camp. One year later, the CEO calls him and asks him to return to work. Les says no, that he doesn’t even want to leave his driveway. They agree on Les working from home, the CEO offers him a salary. Les says no, because then he will be beholden to the CEO. It is tense for a few months between the two after all the family drama, but Les understands family drama, and loyalty, and eventually they put it behind them. That takes a few months though, but Les has to fly to Los Angeles to extract his old database and take it to Maine. He also buys a little puppy, thinking that some lucky little puppy is going to love his new Maine home. After being a fan of big dogs all his life, Les decides to get the smallest dog he can, and finds a chihuahua poodle hybrid. A friend of his has Chihuahuas and Les realizes that small dogs are pretty cool. His new dog becomes the best dog Les has ever had. They are inseparable. Les often would sit with his little dog on his lap, crying because he knows some day they will have to part, thinking he is loving his dog too much, knowing how much that will hurt. But he doesn’t hold back, he continues loving his dog like has not ever loved any living thing before.

  After about four and a half years, which is a significant amount of time that will be addressed later in this story. The situation surrounding the camp changes, and Les returns to the camp one night and asks himself if he really wants to live there for the rest of life. He then realizes that if he is even asking himself this question, he already knows the answer. He doesn’t want to move off the mountain, so he asks his uncle Wilt, Wilt and Walt are brothers, if he can build somewhere on the mountain while suggesting a couple of ideas. Wilt tells Les to go live in the cabin. Wilt built the cabin over forty years earlier, and moved into the house below when Les’s grandmother, Wilt’s mother passes away. Wilt’s wife wanted to stay at the cabin, and eventually moves off the mountain, and ends the marriage to Wilt; although they remain best of friends until she also passes away years later.

  Wilt doesn’t have children, and Les is already helping him with a little money here and there, while planning on taking a larger role in the future, because this is where most of his childhood is spent. Many people spend time living in the cabin over the years, and Les hears rumors of others thinking about moving there soon, so he wastes no time going up there to check it out./ The road is not being maintained for several years, so the only way to get there is to walk there. The roof is gone on one side, water damage, the place is a mess, about to fall completely in. But the newer addition is still in good shape, the kitchen side, and when he peeks upstairs to look at the bedroom, he realizes that this is his new home. He sees the beam spanning across the ceiling, perfect for a special device that Les has, built for special activities. It is too large for the camp.

  When Les first arrives at the camp, and is unpacking all his belongings, he has a decision to make. The device was conceived for a special person in his life, but when that relation ends, the device is not yet completed. He has a choice to make, either store it in the attic, maybe finish it someday, maybe not, or finish building it. He finishes building it, and hangs it downstairs in sight of all who enter. He is not shy about what the device is designed for, and it is no big secret. He receives many offers to rent or sell it, as all who see it are very impressed with the workmanship, and it is obvious what it is for. When one of his sisters sees it for the first time, she turns red as a beet! When his other sister sees it hanging in the cabin for the first time, she is speechless, which is a rare occurrence.

  So Les grabs his dog, a couple of blankets, some books, a guitar and moves into the cabin. It doesn’t have electricity, but it does have a hand pump for water, and a sink. It is about a mile from the nearest neighbor, and two miles from the camp. The next day he dissembles a giant easel he has made and moves that to the cabin, carrying everything by hand. Eventually he improves the road enough to get in with a four wheel drive and moves all his remaining possessions into the cabin, while keeping much of it in a big truck parked below.

  The first winter isn’t exactly easy, but Les has considerable experience living under such circumstances. He covers the big hole in the roof with trash bags that are laying around and roughs out the winter. I’m the spring he repairs the boards that have rotted out on the roof, starts building a garage. He also writes his first song since moving into the cabin, a song about his grandmother. He has always wanted to write one about her, but nothing ever really seemed to justify her enough. It comes in a dream, like a few have. He will have a dream with music in it, wake up and grab a guitar, then shortly after have a new song, although not always the same as in the dream. But the dreams are the beginnings of the songs. He also meets a young woman who is very interested in the special device, and another piece of unique furniture, especially being so far out into the woods, on top of the mountain. Their romance is very intense for a short period of time, and just as it is about to end, Les’s dog suffers a horrible accident. Les is devastated, and then the young woman asks Les for a favor. She asks him to try yodeling, not that mumbo jumbo stuff, but real yodeling, breaking of the voice. So Les researches yodeling, and then begins trying to yodel.

  At first it seems as if the yodeling is going nowhere, but then Les picks up a guitar and tried yodeling with that. Suddenly, after not writing many songs for some time, Les has multiple ideas for new yodeling songs. His yodeling is not traditional by any means, but it technically is yodeling. Before long he loves yodeling. Because of the loss of his dog, the deep pain he has inside, the yodeling helps release that, and he finds a way to laugh again. He also gets complimented for his yodeling from time to time, and some of his new songs also inspire children to yodel.

  One day his mother calls him. Les has already run a cable almost a half mile long to the cabin for a phone so he can work there. His mother has some finches, and parakeets. She wanted a pet, and without the siblings agreeing, he takes his mother to town and buys some birds, before she ends up with a dog or a cat, something she would be unable to care for appropriately. He also goes there every week to clean the cages, because nobody else is helping her with her birds. She calls him up and is very excited, she found an egg in the finch cage! So Les rushes to her in law apartment, and makes a little nest for the finches. He likes seeing his mother in such a happy mood, like a child with a new favorite toy, especially at her age and in her disposition. As he is leaving, after building the nest, they sit outside for a few minutes to watch the birds around his sister’s feeders, and what a display! Several varieties of very colorful birds, and as Les is walking towards his minivan, he notices a gold finch sitting on a branch about five feet above the ground. As he walks closer, the bird is not flying away as most wild birds do. Les is amazed, because he walks right up to the bird and his face is about eighteen inches from the bird, as they are looking at each other in the eye.

  What happens next is astounding. Les believes everything is communicating with everything else in there own language, even rocks! Without making a sound, the finch tells Les that birds yodel too! Of course they do, and yodel sparrow is born. He patterns the song aster Rockin’ Robin, with yodeling. At first he thought to call the song Yodel Swallow, but realizes that some people might get the wrong idea. He has also taking all the old bird seed from his mother’s cages and feeding it the birds on top of the mountain, and they become his family. Les and his cousin, Walt Two, have conversations about a neighbor feeding wild birds from his hand.

  On the day that Les bumps has a near collision with the department store girl and her grocery cart at the supermarket, he is feeling as something magical has just happened. So he goes back to the mountain, holds some feed in his hand, and his life is forever changed. For months they are landing on his hand, sometimes even on his head. He loves the birds. One day he counts over thirty in twenty minutes! nOn his hand, he feels their wings fluttering by his ears! This continues for many months, until a series of storms, and changing bird seed. Then it is many months before they land on his hand again. At one point, he doesn’t even see birds on the feeder. Then one day, as he is studying the books of ancient wisdom, from the corner of his eye he sees movement. They are back! Exactly one year to the day when he meets the girl at the supermarket. He also has a dream He has many dreams about this department store girl. There are times when he thinks nothing will become of the situation, and then has a dream about her, and he wakes up over as if he has just spent some quality time with her. Nothing intimate, just holding hands, canoeing, even ballroom dancing! He concludes that his spatial guide, IAH is not going to let the issue rest. The things he tries to distract him from her make him feel even worse, and when he is studying ancient wisdom, the thoughts of her intensify, so he really does not have an option but to let the situation play out, and that he will see her again; quite possibly making a complete fool of himself. Over time the affection plays on his emotions, gradually building, intensifying. Like that drive home after twenty-three years, crossing the border, knowing he is almost home. Sometimes it comes right out of the blue, but it is always her.

  For a couple of years he has been playing a song from a one hundred year old book about songs of wild birds, they are in musical notation, so he learns how to play the song sparrow song on a guitar. He doesn’t consider using it in another song because in his mind it is already a song. He then has a dream, in this dream the department store girl gives him a note. It says she has a thing for birds. He then hears the song sparrow’s song. When he wakes up, he writes a song called She Has a Thing. Les used to think he writes songs before discovering that the songs already exist, and that they are revealing themselves to him. Then he realizes that the songs are actually writing his story, he is part of a song. People have been telling him for years that he should sell them, and he even has a song that is stolen from him that is the number five song on the Billboard all time greatest songs list. He has proof that he wrote this song and could easily prove it in court, and not ever have to work again. But IAH tells him not to do that, something about filthy lucre…. And that Les will get his due, as everybody does, whether for better or worse. If not in this life, than in the next. It takes Les about twenty minutes to find most of the words to this new song, and it changes a little over time as he plays it over and over, polishing it. This new song seems to be very special, more special than the others. Sometimes he will play it for hours each day.

  Because of the sense of urgency Les feels concerning the girl, he is not sleeping well, often going a couple of nights without sleep, then only for two or three hours a night, until after a week or so then he will sleep maybe ten hours and start the routine over again. His cousin Walt Two has offered him the use of equipment to make maple syrup for years, saying Les has a grove of maple trees with the potential to make at least five gallons of syrup. Les decides to take up that offer, and begins boiling sap. His first quart is very satisfying, but his pan is not big enough to boil the sap fast as it is dripping from the trees, so he decides to boil some inside on the two wood stoves, using some large pots and kettles. After cutting some firewood, he goes inside and sits in the rocking chair to rest. It is a beautiful rocking chair that his sister gives him in return for helping her paint, and landscaping, while he is attending to their mother.

  He sits down and begins to doze off, but he can not fall asleep, he has too much to do, so he picks up a guitar and begins practicing the new bird song that the department store girl inspires. When he is playing a guitar, he often becomes unaware of what is going on around him being so wrapped up in the music, oblivious. After about almost thirty minutes, he is awake enough to do some more work. He puts down the guitar and then hears a noise that sounds like sleet hitting the roof. Looking out the window, there is no sleet, it is a bright and sunny day. He then hears a small crash outside, sounding like some mortar may have fallen off the chimney. The chimney is over forty years old, but it has not been completed. Every spring, the fluctuation of heat and cold will loosen parts of the chimney until they fall. He looks out the window and notices that none of the chimney has fallen. He then hears a very loud crash on the ceiling above him, almost as if it is going to come down through the ceiling. Suddenly Les realizes what that funny sound is, he peeks upstairs to see nothing but black darkness, with an orange glow. The cabin is on fire, and he has to get out as soon as possible. On the way out, he grabs a guitar, and two books. He runs out side to see that the roof is about gone to the fire, and there is no going back in. But his chainsaw is in there! Luckily, it is sitting within arm’s length of the front door, so he runs up to the door, reaches in and grabs the saw, then runs back away from the house. He then realizes that the garage is also going to burn, but he has just enough time to get the antique motorcycle out. Some people say it is worth nearly thirty thousand dollars.

  He often second guesses whether he should have smashed the front kitchen door out to save some music equipment, at least twelve thousand dollars with of instruments and electronics is lost to the fire. But doing that, he wouldn’t have had time to save the motorcycle. A lifetime of work, gone. The blanket his grandmother gave him, and other blankets that have special memories, lots of clothes, footwear, but what really stings? The Iron Maiden tee shirt from the Long Beach Arena! That cannot be replaced, unless they play there again. If Les does not have that new song, he falls asleep in that rocking chair.

  The first manuscript of this story is also lost to the fire. He has a spare typewriter, so he begins again, until the delivery company loses the typewriter on his trip to Los Angeles. He tells the company if he knew that they would lose the crate, he would have left everything in it to burn. He holds out hope they will eventually find it. Meanwhile, he has to start the story over again. According to the original schedule, this story is supposed to end in about a month and a half. But it is only just beginning.

September 7, 3:40 pm

  Les can not write this story and continue with the routine he is falling into for the past week. The concept of the story is to write every day and adhere to a strict set of practices with an intent to accomplish a specific set of goals. He can attempt to justify a variation of that path with a sudden, extreme set of circumstances, but he knows that such variations will not result in the desired results.  When he is driving on the road for long hours each day, the road with his assignment, consumes the majority of thought processing that isn’t focused on the department store girl. But when he stops for his two days off, loneliness sets in, he wants company, someone to make him feel appreciated. On his mountain, the birds show their appreciation with their songs. Some members of his family show their appreciation with food, when he makes an appearance. He has to keep it in his mind that one day the department store girl will show her appreciation of what he does. Up to now, she is not being appreciative because she does not understand why he turned around and walked away in the supermarket parking lot. Perhaps she is also a little vindictive because he hurt her feelings, putting a small scratch on her ego. The only proof he has that she belongs to him is the look in her eyes, which isn’t much to go on.

  Almost two years before that day in the parking lot, Les suffers a series of accidents which leave him unable to function properly: A series of falls. He learns from previous accidents that the only way he can heal is with rest, and if he continues to force himself to maintain his normal pace, the injuries will linger and healing will be prolonged. Taking the time to heal results in a lack of income. He does not have health insurance and doesn’t want it. He feels that leading a healthy active is better health insurance that any other coverage can provide. His lack of sufficient income results in his vehicle insurance defaulting, and of course then he has to get pulled over by the law on a day he is rushing to fulfill his ill mother’s wishes. His failure to provide the proper paperwork results in his driving privileges being revoked.This does not concern him, he loves the top of his mountain, and driving anywhere is being somewhere he would rather not be. A sudden decrease in income due to the healing process also leads to his vehicle being repossessed, when he is a small amount shy of having it paid for. This is also not a major issue, because it also means he no longer has to involve himself with the dirty used car dealer. If Les spends the money on his current collection of vehicles with minor issues that need repair that he spends on the dirty used car dealer’s arrangement, he has three vehicles running in excellent condition. He is given a car to help make taking care of his ailing mother easier, and drives without a license. Not a big deal to Les, just drive carefully. On the day he encounters the department store girl in the supermarket parking lot, he realizes that he has to straighten out his transportation situation to improve his chances with her, especially after not making such a great first impression. Les knows this will happen, and is not overcome with a sense of urgency, because he has time. He has the rest of his life. All he has to do is plant a seed in her mind, and love will take care of the rest.

September 8, 10:24 pm

  It is a good thing that Les didn’t get back on the road yesterday, because it rains most of the day. His plan to leave Montana into Wyoming through the pass results in having to backtrack because two feet of snow fell on the pass, closing it down for a few days. Today a fair amount of snow remains on much of northwestern Wyoming. For most of today’s drive the temperatures were in the thirties and lower forties. It is quite remarkable to see so much snow on the ground, in Wyoming, in what is still officially summer. Through one stretch, the temperature drops to twenty degrees. Earlier in the day his brother in law informs him it is eighty degrees in Maine. While driving that last portion before parking for the evening, the roads look damp, so he slows down because the temperature is considerably lower than freezing, in order to avoid black ice. He also slows down because of the moose warning signs, and sure enough; he has to come to a complete stop in order to avoid hitting two of them. He can’t get to the camera fast enough, and it is dark anyway, so no moose pictures. Another crosses in front of him a few miles later, but it is not as close of an encounter as the first two.

  Les is very close to having a dashboard camera configured to record the scenery, although in some of the more scenic areas there is no reception. He is also getting antsy to play some guitar music, but the parking area he is in is rather quiet. All day long he is wishing the department store girl is with him to share the scenery with.

September 15, 11:40 pm

 Les finally leaves Wyoming, a lot of driving without much in between. What made this trip different from the others over a decade ago, is that the previous trips being in July do not render the same kind of scenery that this trip does. The unseasonal snowfall across the northern part of the state makes for outstanding scenery as it is lingering on the tops of the mountain ranges.

  As he is nearing Denver, he notices the smoky haze blanketing the city, as the smoke from the California fires is hiding the Rocky Mountains from view. After traveling through all these states so many times in the past, he is not as compelled to take pictures of the scenery because he already has pictures of his travels stored in a safe place back in Maine. After spending the past ten years on his mountain, all the other mountains also are not as spectacular in sight because he loves his mountain in Maine. His mountain in Maine may not be nearly as large, or display so prominently on the horizons, but it has something no other mountain on the planet has: His heart.

  While on the subject of his heart, there is a new development. Another woman is giving Les the kind of attention he has been missing for a long, long time. Even as it is coming from a far distance, it soothes him to know that somebody is thinking of him. His lack of having anybody interact with him in this manner as all of his own doing, as he has isolated himself on his mountain, playing a guitar and feeding the birds. Of course, as soon as he even in the slightest manner entertains an option other than the department store girl, he falls asleep at night and dreams of her as if she is there with him. Les tells his new friend about the department store girl, and she doesn’t appear to be very enthusiastic about this disclosure.  Les tells his new friend that if their friendship is to grow, then he has to fully disclose what is going on in his mind with all honesty. Love is not jealous, proud or rude. It isn’t easy for him to tell her this, and this is the reason he skips a few days without writing, two reasons actually. One is because he is slightly confused at first, he cannot just forget about the department store girl, not after the emotional toll that his feelings for her has weighed upon him. The second reason is just plain being in shock to receive this kind of attention at all. He feels like he has a new friend, and that’s what friends are for, sharing feelings.

  There are still some details about the department store girl yet to be revealed, and Les is getting weary of referring to her as the department store girl in this story, because she has a name.

  When Les leaves the parking lot that day, after just interacting with the department store girl, he is very excited. He and one of his cousins often talk about a deceased neighbor feeding birds from his hand. So that day, Les arrives at the top of his mountain from the trip into town. Still feeling lucky about meeting the department store girl, he stands outside with some bird seed in his hand, and after a few minutes a chickadee lands on his hand to take some seed. This goes on for months, one day he counts thirty birds landing on his hand in twenty minutes! Then he changes the seeds, and a series of severe winter storms roll through, when suddenly the birds are not coming around. This saddens Les, and he continues putting the seed out there on the feeders, as well as switching back to the kind of seed he feeds them before. It is not just there where he isn’t seeing any birds, but also the neighbors report that they are not seeing them either. Then one day as he is sitting inside reading, he notices movement outside, out of the corner of his eye; the birds are back! Exactly, one year from the day they first landed on his hand. He thinks this is a sign. Les believes in signs from above, and he prefers the good signs which give him the impression of moving in the right direction, instead of the bad signs which are obviously not the result of moving in the right direction. Although, a bad sign can alter one’s direction as well. It is by taking heed to these signs that Les discovers IAH.

 Les leaves the supermarket parking lot without asking the department store girl what her name is, and this begins to weigh on him.He asks several friends and family members, all women, what he should do. She obviously isn’t pleased with him for turning around and leaving without saying a word, and he really isn’t in a position to ask her out on a date because he doesn’t have a vehicle, as the one he is driving when he meets her developed a serious issue. And he doesn’t have a legal drivers license. But the opinions are unanimous, yes, he should go to where she works.  

September 21, 4:33 pm

  Les doesn’t want to reread what is revealed in this story thus far. He certainly does not want to be repetitive by mentioning the same storyline over and over because of just wanting to get on with the story. Paying attention to detail, he also does not want to leave anything out. He is currently sitting in a one hundred mile long hayfield in Colorado. It is a day off; it took about one hundred miles to find an appropriate place to park where he is not disturbing nor being disturbed. Since he is only here for a few hours, until daybreak. Yesterday he drove over fifty miles of dirt road at about twenty miles an hour, enjoying the back roads after a few days driving around Denver. When the sun goes down he parks in the road until the sun comes up, then moves along. Back to the department store girl. 

During the original manuscript Les wonders whether to split the story up in chapters. Once his mother passes along, he realizes that to be an appropriate time to begin a new chapter. Then the cabin burns down. Instead of beginning a new chapter now, for it feels as if a new chapter of his travels is beginning, he wants to put a wrap on what has progressed with the department store girl’s role in the story. Since he does not want to reread the story, taking ac chance of resisting the events leading to the moment. It will be a long story, it already is.

  When he walks in to the office at her place of work, he makes it very clear to the receptionist why he is there. She says she is not sure who he is referring to, but Les realizes that she is just protecting her identity because the receptionist, Judy, has no idea who this stranger is and what his purpose is.  Les feels that Judy knows exactly who he is talking about, but he respects her loyalty to her coworker. He leaves a letter that he has written.

  He returns in about two weeks. Judy tells Les that she gave the department store girl the letter he wrote. He has already anticipated that he will be seemed as not quite normal, therefore raising a red flag. He then leaves his number with the receptionist, hoping she might call, but he does not expect her to. After all, he turned and walked away from the department store girl. She obviously is not impressed with him, without getting into all the psychological reasons why. She certainly does appear to be happy he approaches her, and then to clam up and walk away?

  In the letter he leaves, Les chooses his words very carefully. About two weeks or so later, he returns to the place she works. Les is a very kind gentleman, and wants to approach the situation not as if he is after the department store girl, but as if he wants to be a part of what she is doing: helping others solve their life issues with positive reinforcement.  The next time he goes into the office, a coworker of hers questions him, and Les can see that this coworker hates Les from the very beginning. When Les fasted forty days and night with water only, he began to see things in people’s eyes that he previously did not see. Mostly he sees negativity, but occasionally he sees positive energy. The coworker has a scowl on his face as he asks Les who he is, and maybe asking a little more than is necessary. Les feels that the coworker is going to run a background check on him. A place of business such as that certainly does have the means to run a background check to screen prospective employees. Les know what this person will find, and that the coworker will most likely use Les’ s past to put him in a bad light. But, Les is not worried, he is all about being honest. He is not proud of all he has done, but he certainly is not inclined to hide his past, as if anybody else thinks they are any better. There is a difference between being arrested for something, and being convicted, and he challenges anybody to experience his path and result with a better conclusion.

  Nearly another month passes. Trying to focus on the love is patient approach, he makes a wooden plaque. The idea of selling these plaques has crossed his mind, but he has not been inspired enough to accomplish one. He makes a really pretty wooden plaque that he spends many hours sanding and polishing an otherwise useless piece of wood, except using it for firewood. He He engraves the love is patient theme into the wood with a wood burner, then sands it some more before applying finishing coats. If he wants to mass these plaques, he should use a better quality wood that does not require so much work, but he also wants the plaque to appear as if a lot of work is going into it.

  Since he has already contemplated making these plaques to display in the local markets, he is being untruthful when he says that is the purpose for making the plaque. He also realizes that when he takes the plaque to where the department store girl currently works, that it will appear as overstating his feelings. But he loves life, and if anybody feels as if he is overstating his love for life, then that is their problem not his. So he takes the plaque to where the department store girl works, and he tells Judy that he has made this plaque, but he has so many hours into it that there is no way that he can be paid with money to compensate for his time. He also feels that this place of employment is based on a foundation of love, and he wants Judy to have this plaque, because surely she must be a very loving person and if she doesn’t want the plaques, surely she must know of somebody who might like it.

 Judy appears very moved by the plaque, and Les knows that if he wants to get with the department store girl, that path goes through Judy. She tells tells Les that he is very creative, and that is what Les wants to establish from the very beginning. Another month or so passes by before Les decides to aim higher. He realizes that he does not have many opportunities remaining to make a positive impression on the department store girl before his attempts have an adverse affect. Almost fifteen years earlier, Les is in a very dysfunctional relationship. It is a test of Les’s perception of love, to forgive and forget, Whenever they break off the relationship, they knew that the other would be monitoring each other’s social presence, looking for subliminal signs that they want to be together again. 

  One day, les is far away on a business trip, and he looks at his love’s social presence from afar through modern means. He finds a poem. This poem is confusing because it appears to be children’s poem, a silly children’s poem. Is she trying to tell Les that she is pregnant? He has not ever read or heard this poem before, but the poem gives him the impression that it is a very popular children’s poem, so he reserves it. He learns that Wheels On the Bus is indeed a very popular poem, a song. He is thinking that this is a very silly song, and if that is all that is required to be popular, he can accomplish that. He has to get ready for work, so he gets into the shower, and he in twenty minutes he has a new song. The Guppy Song. He then calls an aunt who is thousands of miles away to sing her the song. She tells him that is an excellent song and that he should illustrate it as a tool to teach children. He hears this same opinion for years from a variety of people, but he does not want to make the book alone. He wants another to take partial credit, anybody. But nobody wants to put the effort into it. The song evolves over a few years.

  When Les first moves into the cabin on top of the mountain, he has an heavy duty easel that he has built. It is too heavy to carry in one piece, so he disassembles it to carry it up the mountain. He builds the easel knowing someday that this book will be created on it, and it is the first thing other than a sleeping bag and cooking utensils that he moves into the cabin. The feels that the department store girl is inspiring him to make this book. After years of others telling him to make this book, it is a very emotional time for him. Everybody says he will be famous with this book. bHe has heard this many times in the past relative to other songs, but he does not want to be famous before finding the love of his life. This approach makes Les’s life very difficult at times.

He wants the book to look as if a five year old made it. It takes him almost three days to finish it, some times very happy and elated as it is appearing before his eyes, and at times depressing because of the amount of emotional energy that has been expired because of this book over many years. It is done. But before this there is another detail. It is Les’s birthday, and he has refrained from attempting any contact with the department store girl. On his birthday he decides that as a gift to himself, he wants to give the department store girl a bouquet of pretty red roses. He goes to the flower shop, buys the roses, then he takes them to where the department store girl works. When he arrives at the receptionist, Judy appears very receptive to his approach. Not once has she ever given Les the impression that his advances towards the department store girl are unwanted. When he leaves the roses, surely Judy knows what is in the box, because there are not many florists around the area. And then she kind of hides around the corner out of his sight and ignores him. He doesn’t think anything of this until later. She is busy at work. On his way out of the office he decides to stop in a nearby business to see an old friend, thinking that is where his old friend works.

There are other customers before him, so it is a few minutes before the attendant of the store asks if Les needs any help. He tells her that he is there to say hello to his old friend. As soon as the store attendee hears Les’s friend’s name, it is obvious that she is not liking Les’s purpose for being there, and she tells Les that his friend does not own that store. So Les apologizes, saying he is just wanting to say hello to an old friend while being mistaken that the old friend owns that place of business. He goes out to the parking lot where his uncle is waiting, get into the truck., and as they are leaving Les notices somebody on the farm end of the parking lot. It is a woman. Les tells his uncle to slow down, he is not sure if she is the department store girl or not. It is. Les tells his uncle to stop, then Les gets out of the truck and hastens towards the department store girl. She is standing there with a young boy, most likely a patient. He hollers out, “Excuse me!” In the very same manner that he approaches her in the supermarket parking lot. When she turns around, she has a big smile on her face, as if she recognizes his voice, knowing it is him. Perhaps that is why Judy kind of disappeared once Les left the flowers, to let her know that Les is there. Les walks up to her, then apologizes for the way he abruptly turned away from her in the supermarket parking lot, without giving her a reason why. Then as Les is looking at her, everything starts spinning again, just like the day their eyes met inside the supermarket. He asks her for her name. Leah. Her name reminds him of one of his favorite stories. After ten months of being absolutely absorbed with thoughts about this beautiful woman, Les finally knows her name! But now he has to regain his composure, because everything is spinning around again, revolving around her eyes. Les is feeling dizzy because of this world spinning around. He then tells her he is the happiest man on earth when he is looking at her. He is not lying, but that is probably not the best thing to say to a woman he is just meeting. He also senses that she is busy, so he says farewell, and that he hopes to see her again.

  When it comes to meeting a new woman, Les has broken all the rules. As he is aware that he is breaking all the rules he does so willingly because his love for her knows no boundaries. Les has taken the Guppy book to have copies made of it, two copies.

One day as he is helping an uncle split firewood, he is overcome with emotions concerning his ill mother in a nursing home. His uncle tells Les he should go see his mother. He drives into town, and as he is entering the parking lot of the nursing home, he thinks about Leah. If he is to ever see her in a random place, this is it. If Leah works with children, there is also a good possibility she works with old people as well. He walks into the nursing home, up to the floor where he last has seen his mother before his mother was in the hospital. There she is, the most beautiful creature on earth. Leah, sitting with an elderly lady that once shared a room with his mother. When Les had brought flowers for his mother in the past, this elderly lady did not ever have any flowers in her vase, so Les always put some there.

  Later that day Les receives a phone call from Leah’s coworker, threatening him if he ever approaches Leah again.  Les does not feel as if Leah instigated this phone call, because if she is not interested, Les certainly does not sense that in her eyes. He feels that Leah is a bit overwhelmed by Les’s appearance at the nursing home, and probably said something about it when she returns to her office, and her coworker might be acting in a rage of jealousy because Les is upsetting the status quo. After all, Leah’s coworker has already displayed his displeasure with Les with a hateful demeanor. Les is not intimidated with this coworker, but he also realizes that it is time to begin the second phase of his pursuit of Leah. Love is patient, and some how and some way, he has faith that some day, in some way she will want to know more about Les. And now on to chapter two.

Chapter II

September 25, 7:11 am

  Les finally gets out of Denver, it isn’t as he remembers it being ten years earlier, except for it being a difficult place to drive. He doesn’t want to get aggressive driving the camper through traffic, and is constantly missing turns. He then takes care of business in the Colorado Springs area and moves south. The homeless situation in Denver and Colorado Springs is troubling. He wants to help, but there are too many. He thinks that if more people had made better decisions in their lives they might not be in such a terrible situation. It is not like he is always making the best decisions himself, but he trusts in the Holy Spirit to guide him, considering his wrong decisions to be learning lessons. He orders a new bible from a book store to pick up in Salt Lake City next week. He is very lonely and with the book he feels he is able to begin regaining the connection with the Spirit that has been lost over the past eleven weeks. He holds on to the hope that the books the delivery company has lost will still resurface, but he can not wait any longer. He also has decided to take a new approach to printing his own translation. That will require another book along with the one he picks up next week. With today’s modern technology, and the circumstances surrounding him, that seems to be the best course to proceed.

  Parking the camper for an evening can be a challenge, but last night he finds a place in which to pull over undisturbed, and as dawn begins to break, he finds a different larger parking lot where he parks to update this story. 

September 30, 9:13 am

  A short time earlier, Les mentions a woman other than Leah in this story. He thinks he can be happy with her if his situation with Leah does not work out in his favor. He is somewhat confused with this situation because for so long Leah has been his one and only focus of thought. His interaction with this woman is short lived and ends abruptly because she is unhappy with the way Les analyzes her. After all, if Les considers her to be someone he can be happy with for the rest of his life, he wants to know what her purpose is; their interaction ends.

  One day as Les is driving along, with only one stop before his day is done; he sees a homeless woman. She catches his attention because she looks like she can be Leah’s twin sister, they look identical! He has a conversation with her, and then she gets into the truck with Les. Les has an uncertain future ahead of him, and he thinks that a companion for the rest of his adventure might be a good idea, as he does not know how the social circumstances surrounding the current pandemic will evolve; possibly leaving him stranded somewhere for a considerable length of time. During their short conversation, Les really likes her. During his time in Los Angeles, Les is familiar with being homeless on the streets for months at a time, and he often has thoughts that finding a homeless woman to help forge a new path in life and start over which are appealing. But she has problems, generally most homeless people do.

  She looks stunning, and it is very unfortunate that she is in a situation that she wants to get out of, but is afraid to let go of what is keeping her down. The next few days Les thinks of her often, almost more than Leah. He begins to feel guilty for even considering there can be anybody but Leah. But he has to keep moving forward and he leaves the homeless woman behind. A few days later he realizes something; He has recently met two women that could replace Leah in his dreams, after nearly two years of believing nobody else can, and they both have the same name, Bessie. What are the odds?

  Then Les wakes up after finding a place to park for the evening. The night before he cooks a couple of steaks, using the camper stove to cook food for the first time. He buys Teflon pan to keep cleaning to a minimum, and as he is eating he is feeling content for the first time in days. He also wakes up after having a dream about Leah, so he feels happy again. With only a couple days left in Colorado, he will soon have a book to help keep his focus on the task at hand.

October 4, 11:55 am

  Les leaves Colorado two days ago, rolling into Utah, finds a quiet campsite in a canyon to park for a couple of days. He looks for a site around the nearby lake, but doesn’t find one before deciding on a decent place to park just to take a break from driving.

October 6, 11:07 pm

  So this story officially starts on July 28, but the conditions of the story’s purpose are not yet established. Les wants the story to chronicle his success by applying certain standards provided by a particular book, but he does not have that particular book to guide him. This particular book in mind is currently only in mind, and not yet physically in his possession, thanks to the parcel delivery company misplacing the crate in which they are stored. In actuality; there are three different versions of the same book that he will use, so when he wants to have his book he is really referring to three books, four if another book related to those three books is counted. Four books being considered as one book can sound a bit complicated, but he will use all four books to influence the creation of a fifth book. The first book he ordered, hoping to pick it up at a Salt Lake City bookstore, but it turns out that that specific edition is a print on demand book. It might not be available by the time he leaves Salt Lake City, which complicates things, but only time will tell. He ordered the other three books today. They will be shipped to his office in Los Angeles where they will then be shipped to wherever he is scheduled to be along with his work supplies. Once he gets those books he can improvise the process of creating his personal unabridged version of the message he finds in those books, or the book; whichever way is fitting.

  Not all versions before his pending version relay the same message. One would think they do, and most people don’t dig into those different versions of the book to learn the difference. It is similar to reading a recipe. Reading a recipe for bread does not mean that a person knows how to make bread, it means that a person knows how others make bread. A person does not know how to make bread by reading a recipe, a person knows how to make bread by combining the ingredients and applying heat to them. The book is a collection of formulas, similar to algebra, applying each formula correctly results in a correct solution. So this story, appears to begin on July 28, but doesn’t really begin until he has the proper combination of different versions of the same book to influence him. Yes, he can remember many of the principals of the books, but when he is troubled, as everybody is on occasion, he likes to be reminded of how he escapes the troubles.

October 7, 1:29 am

  Les realizes that he barely gets an hour of sleep last night, if that. The past day is productive, yet he is rather wide awake. This is what happens when he isn’t distracted from Leah. Before making this trip, he smokes about one pack of cigarettes in two weeks. From the very beginning of this trip he is smoking a pack each day. This has to stop, it is part of the story that he does. A few days ago he notices that the area around his waist has expanded from eating too much junk food, easy to do when on the road. He is already cutting back on the excess road food, and it doesn’t take long to shed the extra unnecessary bulk that develops. While on the topic of smoking; many years ago a woman who is tying to tie Les down at the time is frustrated with his indifference to her advances. She asks him why he doesn’t want to marry her, because she is attractive, intelligent, has a nice home, a great job, and a great family. Les is thinking that she just lists the reasons why he is indifferent to her, but doesn’t say it out loud. Then she asks him what kind of woman does he want. Les thinks it over for a moment, then tells her he is attracted to tall women, short women, thin women, curvy women: women with blue eyes, brown and green eyes, blondes, brunettes, redheads, straight hair, curly hair. Then he tells that he loves the feeling of smoking a good quality tobacco cigarette. Every puff he takes he enjoys. As much as he loves a good smoke, he knows it is deadly poisonous, so how can he trust his taste in women. He just wants a woman that is healthy for him. He has not ever really decided on a specific type, until looking at Leah from afar at the department store, not really afar afar far away afar, but not obviously ogling her as he walks by her. He then realizes that she is the kind of woman he wants, maybe not her, but one just like her.

  Before he gets called out to California, just after the fire destroys his home, Les is having sleep issues then as well. He might sleep an hour or two each night, maybe doze of for an hour during the day, then after almost a week of that he will sleep nearly an entire day, before starting the cycle over again. He has sleep issues in the past, so the issue isn’t completely the result of Leah being on his mind nearly every minute, but he is using the thoughts of her to make certain that his lack of sleep yields positive, productive results. In a way, the trip to the west coast distracts him from the recent losses of his mother, and in effect, his siblings, and the loss of almost everything thing he owns to the fire. It is natural for him to smoke while he is driving ten to twelve hours or more each day. But that has to stop. It isn’t healthy for the body, and even less healthy for the mind. He pulls the pan with a t-bone steak and bok choy from the flame, he will eat and then sleep, thinking of Leah.

October 12, 1:15 pm

  Tomorrow Les is anticipating being in Reno where at least one of his replacement books will be waiting. It has cost him at least three hundred dollars to replace the four that were either burned by the fire, or lost by the delivery company. One of them is a print by demand, he will hopefully pick that book up in Sacramento. He was hoping to get it in Salt Lake City, and even ordered it at least two weeks early. Being unaware that it is a print on demand publication when he orders it, the book is taking it longer to be available. 

  He finds a beautiful campsite to spend his two days off. It is rather cold on the first night, so he uses the camper oven to take off the chill, and it works splendidly. He even has to turn it off during the night because it gets too warm in the camper. The camper has a heater, but Les can not find the pilot light. When he gets back to phone reception he will call the previous owner of the camper and ask about how the heater works. The owner of the truck and camper offers them to Les if he will stay in Los Angeles, but Les has other ideas. He has unfinished business in Maine.

He has to build another home to replace the one that is destroyed by the fire, and he has to confront Leah. When he finally does confront her, it will be well over two years since they officially meet. Being on the road for over three months, his eyes occasionally wander, but not for long. In Salt Lake City the other day, he speaks with the owner of a shop he has not seen in over ten years. They really didn’t ever get into a conversation, but the other day they do. It is Les’s last stop in Utah, so he takes the time to socialize. It is nice to with somebody he recognizes. It will take him about a month to work his way from Reno to the northern border of California, and then down to Los Angeles. Then he will be back to a familiar place, familiar faces.

  There isn’t much he hasn’t seen in California, but the nature of his trip will take him to a new site. In Utah he meets a gentleman that wants a copy of Les’s new bible when it is finished. The man also wants to know how the situation with Leah turns out. It appears as though that is the main plot of this story, will she welcome his advances? Either way, that will happen well before the time allotted for this story is up; so there must be another story developing. He will certainly be very emotional when he returns to Maine, to his home, burned flat to the ground.Will the delivery company ever find his missing crate?

  The day after tomorrow, the fourteenth, will be one year after Les’s first attempt to write this book. If he doesn’t make it to Reno by the time the delivery company closes and he gets the new replacement book on the fourteenth of the month, he can not make this up. The entire point of this story is to let his bible study guide him. Without the bibles, this story takes a detour. The bibles feed him positive energy. Without them he tries to stay focused on the positive energy, but the material and physical energies of this world collide with him. He looks within himself for reinforcement, but being disconnected from his source of positive energy leaves him somewhat estranged. Not only is he estranged from his source of positive spiritual energy, but also from the familiar faces he loves. From several conversations he has had with the people he meets over the past few months, there seems to be a consensus.

  Les believes that humans are inherently evil. He does not like to believe that in people, and it does not mean that all people are evil, but the human population overall does not appear to him to be looking out for it’s own general health and well being. After years of hearing others tell him he should be writing a book, Les decides to write a book. 

 Les learns to read at an early age, at about four. He hears many adults talking about a certain famous baseball player, so Les learns to read just to read about this player. His uncles drill the alphabet into him, so he learns it early, and by his first day in school he is clearly better at reading than the rest of the class. He recalls the teacher telling him to stop raising his hand and let the other students have a chance. Eventually, the teachers set him aside from the other students. It gives the impression that he is smarter than the other students, and some of the students are jealous; until they need help with their math. Les learns at an early age that nobody likes the smartest kid in the class, until they need help with their homework. Les does not like to think that he is any smarter than the other students and that it is his willingness to put in the extra work studying which gives him an advantage.

  Les realizes that he did not sleep as long as he was thinking he slept because of the time zone difference. It is still too late to make much noise, which is why he likes living on top of the mountain; so he can play his music at any hour he wishes without disturbing anybody. He has a few hours before getting back on the road. At least the road keeps his mind occupied, a small distraction from the constant barrage of thoughts concerning Leah. As much as he wants to hear her voice, he knows that the time is not yet right for that. When they first officially meet, she is unaware of how much Les already loves her. The day they meet, he goes into town looking for a new friend, and who does he meet? Her. It isn’t as if he notices a pretty woman and decides to approach her. No, when their eyes first meet, it takes him a few minutes to regain his composure, as everything becomes dark and is spinning around the light of her eyes. This has not ever happened to him. When reality snaps back into place, Les realizes that this is the woman who he believes is the most beautiful on the planet. He is praying to the Holy Spirit for years to bring him the right woman, and when she appears, Les seemingly does not take advantage of the situation. She may have slipped from his mind for who knows how long, and when Les goes into town that day he is not thinking about meeting her. Although, if he does not meet her at the market, he certainly will hope to see her when he stops at the department store on his way out of town. He has already decided that it is not her that he wants, but somebody just like her, and a stop at the department store always reminds him of what he wants. He doesn’t realize that she doesn’t work there any more, until he meets her at the supermarket, and she tells him she does not work there any more.

  Perhaps his approach is not ideal, but Les loves her, and he doesn’t want to waste one moment letting her know that he does love her. Perhaps many people think this approach is immature; a man telling a woman he loves her at their first meeting generally is regarded as being spontaneous. But it isn’t spontaneous, as he already loves her for longer than she is aware. Saying “I love you” upon the first encounter generally will not have the same impact as saying “I love you” after over two years of adoration from a distance. During his initial advances, he knows he has to make each advance something special, create a memory she may not ever forget, but also knowing he can not go overboard. As Les is sitting here writing this story, he wants to play the guitar. He considers walking out into the woods for enough distance from the campers to not disturb them. The way the site is situated, he would have to walk quite far. He has grown up wandering around in the woods after dark, and knows how sound carries, especially yodeling.

  So, how does Les continue to hold such strong feelings for someone after so much time of practically very little interaction? The answer is in the books of old wisdom he reads. He believes that the story is not true, but the message is. If a story is only 99.9 % true, it is still not a true story. A story that isn’t true is a lie. He believes that the group of people who initiate the story decide not to tell the entire story because they gain a tremendous advantage by keeping certain things secret. They are assured by IAH that following the right path they will be provided for, but this group of people does not trust IAH, so they become more concerned with their own well being instead of the well being of others. They create a story with a message of love, hope, and forgiveness; it is a fantastic story, and Les believes much of it is true. It appears as if this group is providing a map of how to get to a special place, but purposely withholds the key to entering into this place from those making such a long, hard journey to get there, after putting other obstacles, like the truth, along the way of the path. This group of people remind Les of a group of kids partying in their home while their parents are gone. They think they are getting away with partying in the house while the parents are gone, but the party grows too big and out of control. The kids think they are going to get the house cleaned up before the parents come home, but they will have to explain why some things are missing; which are destroyed at the party. At this point the kids realize that they might not get away with it, but continue partying regardless, enjoying the party while they can.

  How can there be only one special place, often called heaven? The message that the early books of wisdom imply that the Holy Spirt, IAH implies is that the Spirit is too great to be confined in something. The streets of gold story is very appealing, as well as the glorious palaces, but with all that splendor, what are we doing there? All that fancy stuff needs to be kept clean, who is doing that? Do the gold lined streets automatically keep themselves clean? What about the windows in the palace? Is everything gold, so when we walk into the palace we are only tracking more gold into the palace? If everybody can fly like an angel in heaven, why are there even roads? After years of feeding the birds on top of the mountain, he not once ever notices them making any roads.

  Perhaps this story is now becoming into focus. Les’s first attempt to recreate his own book of wisdom derived from the ancient stories is unsuccessful. It is sitting in a wooden crate somewhere, and he does not have a clue if it will ever be returned to him. Actually there are already two attempts, one is lost to fire, the other lost by the delivery company, which can’t seem to explain how they lose a big wooden crate. That story begins with the creation of light. Perhaps this story is finally beginning. Both stories are being written in a format which he tries to avoid, but all the other options fail. Les now realizes that the methods he is using beforehand to write these stories is too cumbersome to maintain if either of them are to ever become complete. That’s all Les needs is another uncompleted project…..

October 13, 10:25 pm

  Les takes care of what business is in front of him on the way to Reno, and then once in the clear, he drives four hundred and forty miles in six hours to get his book before the delivery center closes. Then he drives around Reno until he finds a special kind of pen he requires to do the editing. The chain of truck stops that he frequents as much as possible along his journey has a location over thirty miles east of Reno. He drives there and finds a massive parking lot. This will be where Les docks until his business in Reno is finished.

  During his daily oral report to the director, Les mentions that he uses the oven to heat the camper. The director then lectures Les on the dangers of breathing the fumes from the gas oven, and tries to make Les promise not to do that again. Les refuses to promise a promise that he may not keep, and informs the director that he only uses it for about an hour, with some windows open for ventilation. When Les is a child, realizing that nobody likes the smartest kid in the class, he decides to play dumb for most of his life, which is easy to do. But there are occasionally people that realize he might be of above average intelligence. Many times in his life he is questioned about why such a hard working man with even a small amount of intelligence can be so unsuccessful. He once gets into a dispute with a particular law enforcement agent. The agent decides to attempt teaching Les a lesson and fabricates very serious charges against Les. Whenever Les appears to have a problem, there almost always is a woman involved, a vindictive woman to be more precise. Lucky for Les for having some high profile motorcycle attorneys as best buddies.

  In almost every long term relationship Les is ever in, there inevitably is the Les needs to see a psychiatrist argument. Knowing that the court would most likely sentence Les to a form of counseling, Les decides to go a few times before the next court date to try making a good impression on the judge, and learns the therapists do not like their patients seeing multiple therapists. He is spending a lot of money on therapy, and goes broke before using his work related insurance to seal the deal. Les decides that is a good opportunity to learn and embraces the opportunity to not only evaluate their approaches, and also to be professionally evaluated by an assortment of professionals with lots of big time university degrees on their walls. One of them encourages Les to take an intelligence quotient test. When he informs her of the results, she scolds him for hurrying through the test before emphasizing him as a genius. 

  So here is this supposed genius, sitting in a camper along the highway, next to a big casino. He remembers being in this town many years ago, riding a motorcycle all the way from Maine on the way to Los Angeles. He doesn’t have much money in his pocket, so he stops at a casino hoping he can win ten dollars for a room. He comes close to that a few times, but doesn’t quite reach ten dollars and decides to keep riding while he still has some cash in his pocket.

  Today Les gets his book. One year ago, sitting on top of his mountain, without a job, a legal vehicle, a legal drivers license, Les decides to write a book recording how he earns one hundred thousand dollars in one year. One year passes and Les has four hundred and fifty dollars. The plan requires having certain tools, tools that were lost by the fire or the delivery company. Don’t forget the box!! While driving today, Les realizes that if it takes two years to earn one hundred thousand dollars, that is acceptable. Nobody that Les knows believes that Les can do this due to their belief that Les is psychologically impaired. Even if he is, he is doing alright at the moment.  During his long drive today, he is amused by how for nearly ten years that every time he closes his eyes at night, he is thinking of Leah.

  The object of this story is not earning one hundred thousand dollars, but how believing in the Spirit leads to happiness.  

October 18, 1:01 pm

  Yesterday, Les leaves a rest area that he parks at the night before, wanders west a few miles and pulls into a scenic overlook. It is nice place to take in the scenery, but after ten years of living on his mountain he has yet to see any other mountain or mountain ranges that compare. The others may be bigger, but they are not more majestic than his mountain. He decides to motor down the road further to find a place to do some paperwork and plan the route for the day, and finds a very nice rest area, much quieter than the last too, as well as being in amongst a few trees.  He notices a better place to park away from the foot traffic, so he moves there. He sits at a picnic table for over an hour getting his work done before returning to, and sitting in the truck.

  As he is sitting in the truck about to leave, thinking of how he would rather spend the entire day working on the full route instead of just enough to get through the day, a man approaches him who has a problem with his vehicle and asks for a boost to his truck. Les asks the man if he has cables, the man says yes, so Les pulls over to the man’s truck, but boosting the battery is not working. The man’s truck is not responding. The man asks Les if Les can give hime a ride over sixty miles west to the Sacramento courthouse where he is scheduled for a state supervised meeting with his daughter. The man is visibly shaken, and Les decides to take the day off and help this man. Les knows he is making the right decision as he watches the man grab several packages of toys for his daughter. He has to be at the meeting by a certain time, and Les knows that if this man does not make it to this meeting on time, it will complicate the process of the man trying to arrange another meeting. The man offers Les money for gas several times, but Les refuses, telling the man to spend the money on his daughter. As they are on their way to the courthouse, Les agrees to give the man a ride back to his truck. Again the man offers Les money for expenses, and again Les refuses. A few hours later the man calls Less and tells him the meeting is over, and if the man makes all the right decisions when necessary, he will get his daughter back and reunite with his daughter’s mother. 

  On the way back to the truck, they stop at an auto parts store where the man goes in and buys a part he thinks will fix his truck. When they get back to the truck, the part doesn’t work, and the man is quite disappointed because he has two hundred miles to travel. Les does not want to leave the man stranded, so Les looks around the truck, pokes a few places, and then finds the problem. It is a very simple problem, and Les secretly wonders why the man’s mechanic has not been able to discover it. If this man had made the two hundred and sixty mile journey without any problems or issues, the man would be happy to have seen his daughter. But breaking down along the way, chancing upon a stranger that helps him get to his daughter and fix his truck, the man is very thankful. Les tells him not to thank Les, but to thank the Spirit that is advising Les, and if he listens the man will also hear the Spirit. He tells Les several times that he doesn’t know how to thank him enough, Les tells him he is thankful for being able to help.

  Les does not look forward to telling the director about taking the day off to help a stranger. The director tells Les that he made the right decision because that is what they do, they help people. At one point of his life or another in his life, Les helps almost every person he has ever met, friends, family, everybody who needs help, Les does not say no. After a period of time, it seems like everybody is taking it for granted, and there are very few people who seem to be available if Les ever needs help. That isn’t often because Les does not like to be beholden to anybody. It almost seems that because Les doesn’t live his life the way others think he should, that they don’t want to help him because if he accomplishes his goal on his terms, he will not owe anybody.

  He wishes he could share his experience helping the stranger unite with his daughter with Leah. He doesn’t want to tell her of all that he does to help strangers, and those less fortunate, because he wants to remain humble. For years everybody is telling Les he should write a book, and then when he begins writing, nobody seems to think it is a good idea, and Les wishes his life can be a little more exciting to make the story more exciting. One thing is certain, Les has a new friend. It doesn’t matter how abnormal anybody else thinks Les is, that man knows Les helped him in a very big way. That is what imagines he will be doing with Leah, helping others. He probably has more people willing to help him than he realizes. The people close to him that help him the most are those that let Les be Les.

October 22, 10:07 am

  Yesterday, Les finally gets his hands on the important book that is currently out of print, yet printed on demand for those who wish to have it.  The process in which he is trying to manufacture his own translation of this book continually evolves, through no fault of his own. He can only work with what he has available. As the process evolves, so does his daily routine. 

  Les is only human. He loves Leah. It is almost a year since he has seen her, and being human he wonders if she will want to spend time with him. Les has not ever had a difficult time finding a woman for intimacy, but he wants more than just the physical sensation. Sometimes he thinks that he should find a woman to temporarily relieve the physical tension, but doing that requires rebelling against the message IAH is sending to Les. It is not easy for a person to change bad habits, and many people compare trying to change bad habits into a good routine to the spots of a leopard. Les believes that if a person wants to change, they can. Les believes in a life beyond what we experience in this universe, so he kind of has to follow the direction that IAH leads him, or suffer the consequences; not the consequences in the next world, but the consequences of this world. Whether Leah will accept Les is irrelevant, he has to follow the path. If she refuses the path Les in on, it is also for his own good because Les believes that IAH has knows better what is good for Les than Les does.

There is about three more months before Les will have the opportunity to confront Leah. He wants to find a woman to relieve his tension, but is is blatantly clear that Les has to wait for Leah. After Les helps the man visit his daughter and fix the man’s truck, Les has a couple of more experiences helping strangers. He charges a homeless man’s phone, a homeless black man. He gives an elderly black man half a cherry pie with crumb crust. The old man has trouble hanging on to the pie as he is carrying other items, and Les helps him. There are other people that see Les helping this old man, it is a very touching moment, because the man doesn’t move well and probably doesn’t have much time left. Les loves to help complete strangers, he always has. When Les is studying his old books, he hopes that IAH will reward him for his going out of the way to help strangers with Leah’s affection. Then he hopes that they will help others together for as long as Les is alive. He could think that it doesn’t matter what he does in this world because Leah is with him in the next, but he prefers to keep his wrong decision making to a minimum so she doesn’t have so much to complain and accuse him about in the next life.

October 30, 6:04 pm

  Eight days pass by before Les writes again. He looks back and wonders why so many days pass by since he last writes. Being in the area he is in, he is able to visit a very good friend of his whom he has not seen in about twenty-five years. He also helps strangers on two different occasions, both time a situation where somebody needs the battery in their vehicles boosted. Both times are also situations in which they just happened to be parked next to each other. When Les is looking for a place to park for the evening, these places are often places where other vehicles are parked for the evening. A couple of days ago Les finds a very nice secluded area in a beautiful area to park. He is parked in this area again tonight, and he may park in this spot for a few more evenings while he is in the area, before moving northward.

  For the past month or so, occasionally Les feels his right knee almost giving out on him. He has a long history of injuries to his knees. Two days ago, he feels a pop in his knee, and it becomes very difficult to walk. About an hour later, another pop in the same knee, and Les can not put any weight on the knee. He buys a sleeping bag and two pillows for putting under his knee to elevate it, he also buys a walking stick and knee brace. After his first evening sleeping with his legs elevated, he feels a great improvement. And when he puts on the knee brace he is able to walk with a lot less pain. If the department store he buys the items in had a pair of crutches, he would have but them; he is glad they didn’t now because if the knee makes that much improvement after one day, it should not be too long before it is not hurting so badly.

  He wonders why he feels so guilty if he thinks about being with another woman instead of Leah. He knows why, but he still wonders why. He believes that when he leaves this life and moves into the next, the entity that meets him there will appear as her. It might not be her, but will appear as her. This pauses a question: Les believes that when we move into the next realm, we are greeted by what appears somebody we love greatly in this life, perhaps a parent, or grandparent, and being overjoyed to see them again we will follow them; unaware they are disguised. We then follow them beyond a threshold upon which there is no turning back, before being swept away into the darkness. Les believes we have the ability to test these individuals, but that requires doing something we would not once ever consider doing to them in this life. 

  Another person tells Les he should broadcast a show, saying he is a messenger. He does not want to because he does not want to make the show about himself.

October 31, 5:51 pm

  Les does not get much done today. He isn’t feeling all that great. His knee is improving, but working does not help it all all, luckily he has the next two days off. In two days, November 2, will mark two years since his confrontation with Leah in the supermarket parking lot. It is not just his knee that is aching, it is also his spirit. He is lonely, and this is his own fault, because he is not focusing on his own well being enough. After four months of living in a truck and camper, he is finally getting homesick. Every time he sees a pretty woman he has to remind himself that Leah is the most beautiful woman on this planet. If he spends time with another woman, he is not cheating on Leah because there is no agreement between them. He is, however, cheating on himself,  and his own spirit, cheating on IAH. After not eating for a few days, he decides to get a burrito. While he is waiting for his order, he opens the door for a lady who has her hands full with her order. She seems quite surprised that he does this, and is very thankful.

November 1, 5:38 pm

  Les has been very distracted the past week and does not make much progress until today. After four months of living in the truck and camper, everything becomes rather disorganized. It is easy to keep organized in the beginning before accumulating things, especially receipts. He is not fully focused on the task at hand. He knows he can do better, and today he makes progress. Today and tomorrow are his days off, and he spends them organizing. The truck is in pretty good shape, tomorrow he will work on getting the camper cleaned up. He also has to move closer to a populated area so he can gain reception on his communication devices, to take care of some business, such as paying bills.

  Les has done things in his life that he would not want those closest to him to know about. When a person is trying to quit bad habits, that person often partakes in those bad habits in private because they don’t want anybody to know. Les wonders why he reverts unto this undesirable behavior. Most people would not condemn Les for his weaknesses, but Les has to hold himself to a higher standard. He has come close to being the best he can be on different occasions, but has not ever sustained the routine he strives for for greater lengths of time. He has to reach higher now, he does not have a choice, because he does not want to reach a point in his life at which he regrets not trying harder. It is easy to resist temptation when he is on top of his mountain, because he is in his comfort zone, and there is not much temptation wandering around on top of the mountain, unless he invites it there. Out on the road, pushing all he can push every day, day after day, he grows tired because he is not refreshing his spirit. When he gets his books, he doesn’t automatically fall back into his preferred routine. Yesterday, be buys some accessories necessary to record music again, for the first time in four months. The song he records is about meeting Leah, and it gives him new energy. The delivery company lost his equipment, and he isn’t enthusiastic about spending the money to replace the lost items, but he finally does. Being able to record again gives him renewed energy, and he uses that to spend more time with his books.

  He gets a lot done today, but there is still a lot to do. In six hours it will be November 2, two years after meeting Leah. There is an old saying that it is not a good idea to put all of one’s eggs in one basket, but what if there is only one egg? Years ago, when Les is living in a hunting camp deep in the woods, along a river, he begins writing a poem every day. He can not remember why that routing is discontinued, and it is a practice that he has wanted to begin again for many years. Somedays, or nights, he would sit there for a long time, maybe two hours, before thinking of something to write. It is time for Les to begin that practice again:

He sits and wonders what to write

What ideas may come to light? 

The day has gone and turned to night

With another in his sight

Will tomorrow be as bright?

While he hopes it somehow might

If he wants to do it write

He will love her with all his might

That answers a question for Les, how much does he love her? For the past two years he has not loved her as much as he wishes, because he does things that he should not be doing if he loves her. He can use every and any excuse for his behavior, but he also feels that he has run out of excuses. When he drove away from the supermarket parking lot exactly two years from tomorrow, he knew it would take him at least two years before he can spend time with her. He still has a few months remaining, but the two years is over. He is nowhere near where he was two years ago, and he doesn’t know exactly where he will be in a few months. He could call her, but he doesn’t feel that is the correct approach. She could call him, she has his number, at least he thinks she has his number. He can’t be exactly sure because he left his number with third parties. Basically, the approach Les has taken to win her over is widely considered to be the wrong approach at almost every turn. This is not by accident, but for some crazy reason Les thinks it will work. He is sitting in the truck, a few miles from a town, next to a lake. It is very dark, but the moon will soon be brightening the sky. It is very quiet, except for the occasional car that drives by. He wonders if she ever thinks of him, and if she remembers that it is two years ago that their eyes first meet.   

November 2, 7:21 pm

  Today, all day long Les is feeling energized, and refreshed; more than he has for awhile. After sleeping very well the night before, he wakes up and drives back into town where he can get reception with his communication devices to make some calls and take care of business. He also finds a nice park where he sits most of the day to work on his projects. As usual, he sees several very good looking women, wondering why they have to look so good? It is as if the more he thinks about Leah, the better other women look. Today they were looking better than they have in a long time! He is even checking out a woman at a convenience store, one he might not normally be attracted to, thinking she is looking real good. The only explanation he can think of is that the more he thinks about Leah, she just makes the entire world look better, everything and everyone in it. Maybe it’s because the more he loves Leah, he just can’t help but love everything and everyone around him that much more.

  Les likes his new song. When he records it, he is only testing his new process, different accessories, and recording in a camper, to listen out of curiosity of what it might sound like. He has not yet actually played the song while singing it in its entirety, without error, to his satisfaction. The guitar strings are quite worn and sounding dull; he isn’t expecting a great recording, but the first try doesn’t sound bad, so he decides to try and sing along with it. Being a bit worn from the trip, his voice isn’t feeling especially strong. He pulls a blanket over his head to muffle the echos of the camper walls, and sings with a higher pitch than he usually does, and actually makes it to the end of the song with all the words in their place with the music. It sounds much better than he anticipates! Good enough so he doesn’t want to work on it any more until he gets a new professional recorder.

  He hasn’t written a new poem yet today. Two years ago today he worlds turns upside down. It takes him two years to produce a song that effectively and accurately captures the moment he first looks into her eyes.

Captured 

the moment we met

Unable to break free

Fantastic

As good as it gets

Unable to break free

Why would I want to be

Unable to break free

Like being swept away

To where there is no end

The way she captures me

Like sailing with the wind

  Sometimes the thoughts of her are so intense, he wonders if she is thinking of him? He tries to put it into perspective, with the possibility that she may reject him, and he is just setting himself up for a major disappointment. It would be an even major disappointment for him to just give up. Today he is feeling better than he has in a long time, in spite of his leg. He remembers the first time one of his legs gives out on him. It happens when he is cutting wood, he feels a great pain in his knee, and then he is unable to put any weight on his leg at all. Sitting there on the ground, in immense pain, he wonders what he is going to do. Then he realizes he is going to learn how to cut wood with one leg. Then his legs feels better.

It is two years later, also two years from the day the birds began landing on his hand. He has yet to introduce how he becomes a musician into this story. He remembers telling Leah that looking at her makes him the happiest man on earth. That approach is not widely recommended when trying to impress somebody new. The next time he sees her, he with emphasize that he still means every word. There was one time in Les’s life when he is very confused, and is thinking that he is about to enter into the realm of a place widely considered to be hell. Yes, Les thinks at that moment that he is about to die. That is during a time when Les believes in a hell in much the same way that many, if not most people do. He does something that he thinks will result in his death, and is fully believing that he will die, believing that his action will result in his going to hell. But he follows through with the action because he wants to speak with the Holy Spirit about a personal matter, believing that even in hell, Les will believe in the Holy Spirit, and if Les ends up in this hell, then that must be what the Holy Spirit has planned for Les. If that is the place that the Holy Spirit has planned for Les, then it wasn’t at that time. Having traveled down that road once already, when Les crosses into the next realm, he fully expects to be met by a spirit that has the form and appears to him as Leah, but he isn’t going there. If he was, then he had one foot in the door already.

  It isn’t any wonder that people think Les is not normal, he isn’t. The day he is born he is placed in an oxygen tent for a week. Life didn’t get much easier from then on. What would he say to Leah if she calls him? If his phone rings right this moment, and he hears her voice, he would say “Happy Anniversary.”

November 6, 5:29 pm

  Les finally finishes with the Sacramento area and begins workin his way north, while surpassing eighteen thousand miles for the trip thus far. His leg is feeling much better and is not experiencing as much pain when he walks. Using his left foot on the brake helps. He wants to find a pair of running shoes to begin working out his legs again. On the mountain he hikes four miles a day; the combination of driving most of the day with eating much more fast food than he is accustomed to causes him to fall out of shape somewhat, but the past few days he has eaten mostly healthy food. Instead of running shoes he will probably find a pair of hiking boots instead. He is not fond of running, and he can trot in a pair of hiking boots just enough to get back into better shape.

This morning he has a flat tire. When he discovers the leak last night he has just enough air in the tire to reach a supermarket parking lot where he is able to park until morning. Because the camper on the back of the truck appears to prohibit removing the spare tire, and emptying all the supplies out of the back seat will take too long to find the jack, he calls a tire repair shop. They eventually show up at the parking lot to put enough air in the tire to reach the garage where they repair the tire. The tire is under warranty so it doesn’t cost anything to fix it. So a not so good start to the day turns out to be a good start because he is able to resume working at around the time he normally would without the breakdown. Getting further away from the metropolitan area, the stops he has scheduled get further apart so he isn’t able to make as many stops today; especially since a few of them where in difficult to find locations. One particular place appears to be on a very narrow dirt road; he doesn’t want to risk doing damage to the camper so he bypasses it, making a note of its location, and continues to drive towards the next stop.

  He gets further out into the woods and one section of road is very curvy, narrow, and rough; but the scenery is spectacular. As he drives into higher elevations the temperatures drop, eventually to below freezing, and it begins spitting snow in some places. While driving along he is able to witness some area that are burned by the California fires. He isn’t able to reach the next destination before closing time, and it is getting dark; so he finds a place to park for the evening. While parked he decides to try and get the camper heater to work, instead of using the oven for heat, and it works! Even the thermostat! When his next couple of days off come up he will try to get the shower and hot water to work. Most likely, the water holding tank is above the pump so the pump won’t need to be primed. Having the heater working is fantastic! 

  He is amazed that he still has such strong feelings for Leah after two years of basically no interaction with her. Yesterday, at one of his stops, he meets a woman, Elle. She is very friendly, and attractive. He thinks about how he could be happy with her, but he would not fall at her feet and worship her the way he feels about Leah. He mentions Elle in this story because she causes him to react in a way that he has not ever reacted while working on this job for twenty years. Again, perhaps he feels that Leah is so beautiful that she makes everything else in his life that much more beautiful. Or, that by seeing the beauty in her he is finally able to discover what beauty really is and that enables him to see it in everything and everyone else.

  November 14, 10:41 pm

  Eight days later, Les is sitting in the camper, parked in front of his friend’s house in Vallejo. He and Ed first meet at a junkyard in Santa Monica, over thirty three years ago. Noticing that eight days pass by without Les sitting down to write, he has to read the last paragraph to remind him of what he is doing eight days ago, which reminds him of his location on that day eight days ago. That is many miles ago, a long distance of ground is covered those eight days, reaching the furthest distance from of his cabin on the mountain, and now the remaining portion of this trip will be moving closer in actual distance to being home on the mountain again. 

  Tomorrow is the beginning of two days off.  Today the sun burns bright all day, and Les begins to feel the warmth of the sun is from Leah. Thinking about the moment their eyes first met becomes a song in Les’s mind. He thinks about that moment constantly all day, every day. He has a plan, and part of that plan is going to the beach on his two days off. Not just any beach, but the Lost Coast. Nine months ago he is sitting next to his lost cabin on top of a mountain in Maine, in the winter time, now the northern California coast. Today he walks down a sidewalk imagining, almost feeling her walking beside him. When Les is thanking IAH for that happy feeling, and believing that the all supreme being at the beginning of creation, the Holy Spirit in a human form is identical in appearance to Leah.

November 17, 9:04 pm

  Last night, Les hears a knock on the camper door for the first time. It is the second night being parked at a turnout in the center of a hair pin curve, facing into the center of the curve with a view out over the bay, Bodega Bay. He is asked to leave by two men wearing uniforms, badges, and guns, who are patrolling the coast. He is parked on State Park property, and parking in that particular spot is not free. They give him three options, he takes the option of driving back into the city, earlier than hoped. The view of the coast is beautiful, but it is also nice to drive back at night when there is no traffic at a slower pace without slowing down traffic because the truck and camper isn’t built for high speed sharp corners and constantly trying to maintain as much speed as possible. 

Les runs out of propane three days ago so he isn’t able to heat water to shower, but being on the coast it is not a big deal. Making a few calls on Saturday to resolve the propane tank situation, when he arrives at the propane station this morning the situation is resolved in the most ideal manner; he then returns to a familiar park to clean up, and finish shaving his head. He shaved it exactly a year ago, and then shaving it again seven months later on the anniversary of when his grandmother is buried. He gets most of it off yesterday with only cold water and a razor. He gets some of it off with scissors, but the circumstances are not ideal for a nice clean shave. Today, with hot water and a new pair of electric clippers, he finishes the job rather nicely. He then begins working his way south. It is raining most of the day which spoils the view from the bridge. The location device instantly takes him up a very steep hill after leaving a gas station tucked snugly on a corner. His route leads him right straight into the downtown area. San Francisco. He doesn’t know the city that well, after visiting five or six times, but he does know that it can be difficult finding a place to park. Even as he has to walk a few blocks instead of just pulling into a parking lot, he is in San Francisco. The first time he ever visited here he wanted to stay, but his work in Los Angeles prevents that from happening. After the last stop of today he decides to drive out of the congestion to look for a place to park for the evening. He turns down a narrow street following the directions from the location device and quickly notices an empty space along the street where it looks safe to park, so he stops. There is the constant rumbling of trains, and the freeway.  On the other side of the street there is a big fenced in dog walking area, surrounded by several homeless encampments. If the weather wasn’t so wet out, he would like to take his guitar outside to play. Normally, being parked directly in the center of a major city for the night might not feel very secure, but it looked like a lucky spot as he pulls in to it. After doing some research, Les discovers that the rent for a single room apartment in this area, South of Market, is three thousand and six hundred dollars a month, equalling about one hundred and sixteen dollars a day. That money would pay almost all of the property taxes on his home in Maine for a year.

November 28, 6:23 pm

Eleven days pass before Les writes again. He takes a glance at the beginning of the story and it reminds him of what the story is about. It is a story about someone writing a book about somebody else writing a book, but to this point in time the story is not unfolding properly according the plot provided at the opening of the story. Then there are questions about when the story actually begins and officially begins. Then ending is supposed to be at a set time frame, one year after it begins. If the purpose of the story is to write every day, a day to day account, does it actually begin when a daily writing routine is established? When Les begins reading the beginning of the story, he does not read very far before turning his eyes away, realizing that the direction of the story has swerved off track. He can try justifying the reasons the story has veered away from its purpose, but he is not living up to a standard that is worth writing about on an often enough basis, a healthy routine that is acceptable towards accomplishing what he wants to accomplish. Not only writing a story about writing a story, but writing two stories concurrently. How many plots can he weave into this story?

Waylon Jennings is still in the truck stereo. Still playing the same songs as it does along. Les is leery that this story might begin to sound like the music in the stereo, the same tune over and over. Les feels as if he is drifting away from the original storyline, it is obvious that he is. Write every day. Les can rationalize that he is not under conditions that promote writing every day, but these unfavorable circumstances are all the result of his own decision making process. He wants to think of Leah as his motivation, but Les is honest with himself and knows that she would not approve of some of his recent decisions, if she is to have any thought or consideration of him. 

November 29, 10:54 am

  When Les first discovers the alternate translations of the bibles, about fifteen years ago, he is fascinated by the commentary which the printers of the Bible include. He is also fascinated by the inclusion of their translations of the belief, a sort of commentary of what it is written. When Les first begins to be suspicious of where the modern bibles might be leading him he is curious about what earlier versions might say, how they are translated. When he first attains these rare copies he is surprised that they confirm many of his suspicions. But that was then, this is now. Eventually Les finds fault with the older versions which is when he is directed by IAH to modify these books. His relationship with IAH is not as close then as it is now, but Les believes all thoughts of every person who ever lives on this planet originate with IAH. If the manner in which Les modifies these bibles is not yet mentioned in this story, he removes the words “Lord,” “God,” “Israel,” “Church,” “Jesus,” and “cross,” and replaces these words with another word or symbol. He is led to this process by asking a question, “If the letter ‘J’ does not appear in the English alphabet until about four hundred years ago, what is Jesus’ name?” When he is asking this question, Les still is believing the “Jesus” story, something which he no longer does believe.

  About twelve years ago, Les meets a homeless man who is a very talented bass guitar player< and Les wants to start a band with him. The homeless man does not have a bass guitar, so Les goes to the music store and buys a bass guitar, as well as a very expensive top of the line bass amplifier. The best of the best, and actually has to borrow money to afford it. The cabinet with the bass speakers is lost to the fire, and Les still has the electronic piece of equipment, the amplifier head, in storage back in Maine. The day Les first purchases this combination, he plugs it in inside his tiny little music studio in North Hollywood, California, and accidentally has it on too loud, which damages Les’s left ear so he can not hear with it. This happens nearly twelve years ago. All his friends and family can attest that he has had trouble hearing on his left side for many years.

  Two days ago, the day before yesterday, the day after Thanksgiving, Les turns on the truck stereo and it sounds different, as if all the sound is shifted to the left side. He tries to adjust it so that it will sound the way it did before, but he can not get it to sound that way. He is thinking that he must have accidentally hit the wrong button somehow, but no matter what he tries he can not get it to sound the way it did before. That night, Les puts on a pair of headphones to listen to some music and instantly realizes why the truck stereo is sounding different. The hearing in his left ear has returned! Les has hoped for this kind of a development to the story, and it could not come at a better time. Being alone and so far away from home has been wearing Les down into thinking of ideas that he does not want to think. He has believed that someday his hearing in the left ear might return, but without any guarantee that it would. Les has not been focused on IAH as much as he wants, and he feels as if getting his hearing back is a gift from IAH, as everything is a gift from IAH. Even bad luck is a gift from IAH once we learn how to put everything into a proper perspective. It is easy to get upset when another person does us wrong, but we make the decision to be in that kind of situation; so the girt is knowing that we are as much at fault as the person who does us wrong and having the ability to change our routine to not allow that kind of mistake to happen again.

  A few days ago Les receives his new recording equipment, but he is still missing a cable to connect the equipment; which prevents him from trying it yet. He is waiting for a check to reach his bank and clear, which is taking twice as long as usual. In the meantime, Les does not have any clean clothes to wear because he can not afford to stop at a laundramat. He finds it interesting that his hearing returns to him on Thanksgiving weekend. He tries to always be thankful, but lately has not been feeling thankful enough to IAH, because being thankful means actually showing thanks with actions.

  Les feels as is he has been running out of time in his attempt to win Leah’s heart because he doesn’t feel as if he is living up to his full potential. He considers his full potential as being able to focus on healthy, productive, constructive thoughts and actions. To recognize unhealthy thoughts and discard them before thse thoughts turn into unhealthy action. He feels as though his hearing returning to his left ear is a sign from IAH that Les is still moving in the right direction, but Les has to try harder to be more dilligent about how he reacts to unhealthy, unproductive, detructive thoughts entering into his mind. If he is observing material contrary to what he believes is healthy, it can be considered destructive because it is not movement in a productive direction achieving results.

Lesz kel köszönom IAH

O Holy IAH Almighty

The majesty of Thy glory can not be born

Thou art the first Holy IAH

Thou art the last Holy IAH

Thou art the only Holy IAH forever

Conductor of Creation

Authour of Eternity

Imminent Architect of Everlasting Salvation

Thine infinite mercies are immeasurable

Thou art the Most High Holy IAH

According to Thine goodness, compassion, and long suffering

Behold, and above the heights of the heavens are seen

I am not worthy to behold Thy appointed repentance

I am trespassing and acknowledge my transgressions

For the multitude of my unrighteousness I am unclean

I am a worm and not a man

Thou claimeth us from the womb

Thou giveth us hope

Destroy us not with Thine reserved evil

Neither condemn us into darkness

Bending the knee of my heart

Beseeching to witness the blessings of Thine boundless grace

With the ears to hear Thine merciful promise

With strength and spirit to praise Thy illustrious power

Immaculate glory and Unabreviated Perfection forever

Lesz Kell Köszönöm IAH

O Holy IAH Almighty

That is the prayer that Les tries to focus on each and every day; not only to say it every morning and every night, but throughout the day in an attempt to strengthen his conviction. “With ears to hear Thine merciful promise.” That is the promise that the Holy Spirit makes to Abraham, but looking through his translation of the bible, the word “promise” does not appear until later. It can ge presumed, and anticipated that the first time IAH speaks to the soul of a man to enlighten that man on what is to become: that is a promise, because IAH does not change its mind. So technically speaking, the very first promise IAH makes to a man is to Adam when he gives Adam every herb sowing seed, every tree bearing fruit, every beast of the earth, every fowl, and every fish. 

  The first time the word “promise” is mentioned in the bible, the version Les reads, is Deuteronomy 26:17. Les reads a version called Young’s Literal Version. Much of it is written in present tense. When he first explores this version, it only takes reading the first three verses to realize the difference in translations between the Young’s version and virtually all the others. Les once believes that the King James Version is the most accurate of all versions, flawless. It is when he asks the question “What is “Jesus’” name before the letter ‘J’ is introduced into the bible?” That makes him research other bibles printed before the letter ‘J’ is introduced, and settles on a Geneva 1560 translation; which tells a different story. He also learns that the King James Version is not really a King James translation at all. H

Les does not remember how or when he discovers the Young’s translation. Most bibles translate a portion of the third verse of the first book of Genesis as “and then there was light.” The Young’s tanslation reads, “and light is.” This becomes of choice of wanting to be led to where light is, or light was. Les also attains a Matthew Bible from 1537 replica, and is fascinated how much the English language and grammar evolves between 1537 and 1560. During his first attempt at handprinting an entire version of the Bible before that work is lost to the fire, Les even improvises the spelling of some words, before finding them spelled in the same manner in the 1537 version!

  Finally, Les feels as if this story he is writing is beginning to take shape. It is well known in society that the Bible does help a lot of people out of the darkness, but Les feels that is only temporary, because they may feel or appear out of the darkness, but it really is just not quite as dark as before, without being fully in the light. Les also believes that it is impossible to be fully in the light while being alive on this planet, because the material being requires a degree of darkness to be distinguishable from the light. He often wondered what being born into a “world of sin” really means, and he has his suggestions of what that actually might mean. First of all, we are taught that certain things are good, and the Bible is being manipulated and falsely translated to allow us from realizing these things are not good. By the time we may chance to learn that these things are not good, they become such an essential part of our day to day life that it is nearly impossible to give them up. Examples of that are certain to be revealed later in the story, but three excellent examples are reading, writing, and counting. Another example is pictures, or recreations of images already existing on earth.

  The Geneva 1560 bible is the first bible ever printed with comments, footnotes, and reference notes to other locations within the bible. It is called “The Argument.” Les  must reproduce this as well, and he must begin before getting too far ahead with translating the regular text. Somewhere in that big book, it says, “We do what we love.” Therefore if we participate in destructive behavior more than productive, constructive behavior: we can be forced to lose our life in a certain manner, but we cannot be forced to live our life in a certain manner. Les isn’t certain how he will integrate the footnotes and reference notes into his translation, until he learns how to format the medium being used to write it, but the only way to discover that is to begin writing it.

  It will be dark soon, Les seems to have rediscovered his joy of studying the scriptures because he certainly is devoting more energy to studying and writing than at any point on this trip thus far.

  November 30, 3:45 pm

  Les spends most of the day working on the new translation of a bible; it is quite a large undertaking considering the different aspects he wants to cover. He first begins questioning the concept of ‘heaven’ by wondering about the palaces and streets lined with gold version given by the book, and how everybody who is going there will be having such a fantastic time. The scriptures state that the Holy Spirit does not live in a house or temple, so why the palaces? Streets lined with gold? Why streets? Why do angels need streets to begin with, and if streets are necessary for whatever reason, Les imagines they would be dirt roads or trails. Then there is the matter of all that gold, does it automatically clean and polish itself? Les has not ever been really comfortable with just lounging around not doing anything. He wants something constructive and productive to keep him busy. The popular concept of ‘heaven’ is not necessarily appealing to him.

  Many, if not all of these questions and ideas will be addressed at the proper time as he creates the new bible. He believes that much of the old story is corrupted before it is even written and recorded. He believes that the end of this life is the beginning of another and it is how we fit into this life which determines where we will fit in the next. There is a passage that states our souls are bought and paid for, and Les believes that the Bible has two purposes, to enlighten those with the eyes to see and ears to hear, so that they will be marginally prepared for what is ahead in the next life; and also to deceive those who do not wish to devote the time and energy into learning what is really going on by looking inward to their own weaknesses and searching for the strength to live a better life.

  What if a soul and spirit is a form of currency? It can be argued that they are currencies in this world, as a person that is determined to reach higher generally advances beyond what those without the desire to reach higher usually achieve. When IAH is dividing the promised land into the inheritances between the twelve tribes, they all get a portion of land except one tribe. IAH states that this tribe will receive its inheritance in the heavens, and that their inheritance on earth is to maintain the balance of spiritual movement between all the tribes: to be the priests and translate the intent of IAH to the average man. Being human, perhaps this tribe is jealous of the other tribes that inherited land. Perhaps, if souls and spirits are currencies, they are not properly translating the intent of IAH because they want to maintain control of these currencies? Les did not want to give up believing the ‘Jesus’ story. Like most any other ‘Christian’ he once believes that any opposing view is born of ‘Satan.’ He now believes that ‘Satan’ is just doing his job, and that if IAH creates everything, then He also creates Satan and must have a good reason doing so.

  Les’s cousins tell him they and their children love the postcards he sends them. He wonders about the post cards he sends to Leah, does she enjoy them? He imagines that when the mail is delivered to her office, the receptionist finds it first. He wonders if she looks on a map to see where the town the card is sent from is located. Does she wonder where and when the next card will arrive? Does she wonder what on earth is he up to and what he is doing out there? Does she anticipate that he will pay her office a visit when he returns home? Regardless of the circumstances surrounding his return home and seeing her again for the first time in about sixteen months, their eyes meeting will generate a powerful energy. Will she want to have a coversation with him, or just tell. Him that she is not interested? It will be about three more months before these questions, and others are answered. 

  During his first two attempts at writing this story, Les wonders if the story should be divided into chapters. When his mother passes away, Les thnks that is a good time to begin a new chapter. When his cabin burns down, he also thinks that is a good point to begin a new chapter, but he hasn’t written much in between. Taking this trip would be a good time to start a new chapter, but when the trip begins he is still kind of involved with writing and recording it in the manner previous to how he is recording it now. He is still waiting for his paycheck, which is almost two weeks late, so he can buy a cable to begin learning how to record with the new devices. He is planning to record a song and have it played on the local radio station. Now he has an extra ear, gaining the hearing back in his left ear, and being able to hear again with that ear is inspiring Les to establish a routine that should have been established on day one of this trip. But that is not the way this story has unfolded.

Chapter 2

December 5, 9:10 am

  Being a debate within Les about the actual beginning of this story, he feels that it doesn’t actually begin until he adheres to a productive routine. His routine is currently productive overall, but not in the most important area: within himself. He has to quit smoking. For years he has stated that there are two ways to quit: one is to run away from the temptation; the other is to maintain a possesion of smoking material while resisting the urge to smoke. Les most often takes the more difficult path, so maintaining possesion of tobacco is the direction he wants to take. He lights up a cigarette, smokes it, and declares it is the last one while writing about it in the story. 

December 6, 10:34 pm

  It isn’t his last one. Remembering years ago, he and one of his best friends challenging each other to only smoke one a day. Perhaps Les is trying to challenge himself with remembrance of that friend.  He smokes a cigarette in the morning, the rear tire is leaking air again. The truck needs a tune up; it takes over half the day to change the spark plugs, no easy task. It is also illegal to work on a vehicle in a public way, but he gets it done, while getting covered with some grime. In the parts store parking lot of a big city, he has to buy the tools, and the first set of tools has two identical small sockets, the two smallest ones. He takes the tool set back into the parts store to get the correct dimension. While replacing one set of tail lights, he loses the smallest socket under the camper and has to go back into the store to get a smaller tool set to finish installing the lights. Trying to get all that done as soon as possible, many of the sixteen plugs were more difficult to replace than others, and none of them were easy in any way, just easier than the others. With all the difficulty getting everything done as soon as possible, he smokes because it is relaxing. He starts the truck up and drives to a different parking lot for his first break of the day, there are only a couple hours of sunlight left. His body is aching from having to lay on top of the motor to reach some of the plugs, as well as keep his body twisted in abnormal angles. He feels very thankful to get that repair done, even though he has to spend a day off to do it. He also has to drive on his next day off tomorrow to pick up supplies. He could do it on a work day and wait until Tuesday, but he wants to distribute what needs to be done as soon as possible and return home. Perhaps tomorrow instead of thinking of challenging himself to only smoke one, he will think of Leaah challenging him to not smoke at all. His friend lost his life many years ago, he is remembered as a brother. But if Les has to chose between his own brother and her, she is going to win. Les has not ever been willing enough to submit to the compromise that a marriage requires.

  Les has been developing a study routine, but didn’t study this morning, or yet today. He hasn’t quite removed all of the grease and grime from his hands and doesn’t want to get any of it on the books. He also has a study system on his communicating device, which he works on throughout the days for a few minutes at a time. 

December 9, 7:07 am

  Today is the day. Les wakes up, lights a cigarette, and he smokes it while moving to a big parking lot where he can gather his senses. Last night he tries to find a place to park and sleep, but the truck stop is one of the few he encounters that doesn’t appear to be accommodating to a truck and camper. He can pay for a spot, but decides to free lance and finds a different location on the streets. That smoke is the last he will enjoy for the foreseeable future. Les reasons that it is easy to quit without posessing tobacco, and he also knows that when quitting that the anxiety levels are much higher when posessing tobacco than when without. Most people will agree that the idea is to avoid the anxiety levels that promote smoking. Les disagrees, he believes that anxiety is healthy when it is focused in the right direction, considering that nearly every technique that supposedly makes anxiety go away is counterproductive and unhealthy. He believes that anxiety is misdirected love and passion.

  Les wants to get more exercise. He remembers when he first meets Leah at the supermarket. Actually, he not only remembers meeting her that day, but the memory of that event dominates he thoughts all the day long. He begins running that day. He doesn’t like to run, and he doesn’t try to run too hard because running on the mountain is a good way to sustain an injury, but he pushes the pace beyond normally walking, using a running motion instead of a fasy walking stride. As he is driving the past five months, with three more to go, he realizes he needs to get back into shape, but running would require buying a special kind of footwear that he doesn’t want, so instead he buys a pair of rollerblades. Rollerblading is an excellent form of exercise, without sustaining the extra wear and tear on his knees and feet. Rollerblading is also good in developing and maintaining balance. He is a decent rollerblader and doesn’t require any protective clothing to minimize injury if falling. Realizing that a size fourteen set of rollerblades will be hard to find, he settles for size thirteens. They are a little tight fitting, but not enough to hurt his feet. He lights another cigarette, the second of the day because of rationalizing he wants to smoke his last smoke while writing about smoking his last smoke. IAH makes it clear to Les that if Les does not quit that Les will not be in the right frame of mind to sweep Leah of her feet. He finishes smoking the cigarette and extinguishes it.

December 29, 2:59 pm

  Twenty days do pass from the time Les last writes, the largest span yet of inactivity he believes. All because he does not quit smoking. Every day he tries, smoking fewer times some days and as normal on others. At the end of the day he has a guilty feeling because of not having the willpower to quit, and that ignites a lack of self esteem, which is all contrary to writing this story of being successful and successfully inspiring others.

  Today he appears to have quit, although the day is not over yet. He smokes one in the morning just to spite himself and to make quitting more difficult. That has been the issue, after rationalizing one smoke to begin the day, it becomes easier to rationalize a second smoke. It is easy to figure out where that leads. He knows he has to quit for the remainder of the day because he is taking the day off from work to break the normal routine in some way to develop another routine. Success is all about having the ideal routine, success is the routine. Many people will try to emphsize that they are successful without adhering to a specific routine, but everybody wakes up and falls asleep each day. However they approach their day is their routine, because it is a routine of thoughts that determine a person’s course of action. A person’s beliefs, consistently believing or thinking the same thoughts, are what determines their actions. There is no avoiding this fact. Anybody that tries to condemn any routine as boring or unfilling are condemning their own life because life is a routine.

  To become a role model, Les has to develop a new routine not that much different than the old routine. He believes he will make it the rest of the day without smoking anything. Smoking certainly does take time, and it is also about what happens in the mind before, during, and after the smoke. This story isn’t about being successful financially, because if a person’s success is strictly judged by monetary value, at what point is one really successful? Is a man with only a penny in his pocket really less successful than a billionaire? The reason Les equates writng this book about becoming successful is because he thinks Leah will be drawn to his success, but because he doesn’t want to burden her, he wants to elevate her. The more resources he can apply to her elevation, the happier he will be. He also wants to demonstrate that a formal education is not a key to success. Education is important, but who determines what education is better than others? Success. If Les ever is able to look at Leah again, to see her, that moment will define his success because in his mind there is no greater joy than to look at her.

  Les will hear a little criticism for not working today, but he doesn’t mind, because he has to break the old routine. It was easy to quit isolated on the mountain, so he is is not able to confront the inner anxiety that causes him to smoke if he is on the mountain. When Les is not smoking, he is also more tedious. Smoking is a destructive habit, when smoking and participating in this destructive habit, the mind is easier led astray to other destructive behaviors. The key to success is being constructive, not destructive. If one is to reach towards higher goals and purposes, all destructive behavior must be eliminated from the routine to enable the reaching of one’s potential. It is about financial success, it is about reaching one’s own potential. If a person is not participating in productive behavior attempting to achieve a higher goal, that behavior is destructive. Any behavior not motivated by awillingness to improve one’s own situation is destructive behavior. Inactivity is also destructive behavior. If it it is constructive, it must be destructive. Les doesn’t believe in the middle ground. He remembers an old saying about driving down the middle of the road is the most dangerous place to drive. The old books of wisdom also promote this, pick a side but don’t play the middle. Even if the wrong side is being picked, the truth will eventually win. Nature will win.

January 5, 6:31 pm

  Les still has not completely kicked the smoking habit, although he has cut in intake by over half. Still, that is not good enough. Ten years ago tomorrow Les begins fasting a fast which ends after forty days and forty nights. The results of that fast still, and always will affect the way he sees the world. He believes that. When he begins fasting that particular fast, it just happens; it is not planned. He believes that nature is aligned in a way that will enable him to make it through the entire day tomorrow without smoking. There is scientific evidence that at about the end of the yesr, the last two weeks of the old year and the first week of the new year, the planets and stars are aligned in a particular way that affects life on this planet more than any other time of the year. He usually tries to stay home and let the time pass, but being on the road with a job to do does not provide him with the opportunity to isolate until all that energy passes by. He is not an advocate of man made holidays, although he does like to eat alot during the end of harvest season.

  To follow the spirit of IAH in the manner Les does, requires ignoring as much of the ceremonial celebrations of mankind. Every day is special each and unto itself. Of course that puts him at odds with some people, and he tries not to get into a debate over this issue with anybody, because all that does is build up negative energy. 

  He is getting close to Los Angeles, maybe two weeks away or less. He could drive there in about three hours, but still has a few stops to make. His director suggests a plan for Les to stay around the city for a longer time than Les wishes. All he wants to do is get this project over and get back to Maine. One development that might work in his favor is being able to drive the truck and camper to Maine, instead of back to Los Angeles and flying to Maine. When he mentions it to the director, the director does not rule it out. Les wants to get back to Maine, to his mountain, to hius family. More than anything else, he wants to get back to Leah. He wonders if she is expecting him, while unknowing when he will arrive, but sensing he will. He doesn’t think that she will reject him and any further advances, even though that is a possibility. 

  Les has made mention in this story of his affinity for music. He also mentions a plan to become financially successful. Not because he wants a lot of money, or to live a certain quality of life; he likes roughing it on top of the mountain. He wants to give all his success to Leah, to help her achieve her dreams. Surely she must have dreams, goals, aspirations to reach higher, to make more of an impact on the lives of those people less fortunate. That want Les wants, to help her with her dreams, because she is the answer and solution to every dream Les ever has had. This is how Les becomes a musician.

  When he is a small boy, trusted members of the community did horrible, horrible things to him. Regardless of how acceptable it may be in society to do these things to children, back then it was not acceptbale at all for grown men to abuse young boys in a certain manner. When Les is in kindergarten, he has an opportunity to take part in music classes, but he doesn’t because the music teacher is not a very masculine man. Being so young, with his experiences, Les relates having a musical ability to being less than masculine, closer to feminine; so he does not want anything to do with being a musician. He avoids it at all cost. He does, however, love to listen to music As his artistic skills grow and develop, he begins to dresm of someday designing covers for records. Even though some of his drawings are imaginary images of him playing a guitar and singing in a band, he does not ever imagine himself actually being a musician in any way, and does not attempt to become one. 

  When Les is very young, he also notices that the girls tend to be attracted to the boys with nice clothes and lots of shiny new things. Les is from a poor family, so he can not compete with those boys with all of their material advantages. Les does discover that the girls like help with their homework, especially math, and they like his drawings. They also like poetry, so Les begins adding poetry to his drawings. He remembers the day he discovers that one of his biggest crushes kept all his drawings, covering an entire wall of her room. But, that is as far as that ever goes. They were great friends, but did not ever date not even once. For most of his life, Les is not regarded as a great catch because most women want more security than the kind Les is able to offer. Yes, there are those he sees the value Les has, usually close family members and friends, and he does come close to getting married on more than one occasion. But he is not ever willing to compromise his dreams and goals, and is lucky things turn iout the way they have, and do.

 Les begins drinking booze at a very early age. Without getting into the specifics and psychological reasons why, let’s just say Les likes to party. And like anything else he tries, he is good at it, and does a lot of it.

January 6, 5:48 pm

  Last night when Les is writing, a man approaches him and tells him he is parking there for too long and has to move. Les does not mention the car next to him which has been there longer than Les is. So Les moves to a different place before settling on where he will park for the evening. Then he wakes up this morning, and has not smoked once, it wppears as if he will make it through the entire day without smoking, for the first time since leaving on this trip months ago. He also does not look at the news today, he does not want to know what is going on in the world. The bible demands us to not pay attention to what is going on in the world, but very few people pay any attention to that boundary. The purpose of not keeping up with current events is that fully trusting IAH will set forth the path before us in safety. People swear up and down that they trust theit “g-word” but rarely take heed to how the ancient wisdom suggests they behave. These people trust that theit interpretors of the wisdom are guiding them correctly, but with a little extra study it is obvious they are not moving in a proper direction.

  Les is telling the story of how he becomes attached to music when he is interupted. Yes, he likes to party, to drink and party. Growing up, blackout drinking is considered a problem, drinking so much that one loses their memory for the evening. To Les and his friends, that is the purpose of drinking, the sole purpose. Les builds up a tremendous tolerance to alcohol. In high school, Les loves to read poetry, until he discovers Edgar Allen Poe, then all other poetry is no longer of interest; Les feels all the other writers are subpar to Poe, but Poe is also very dark, melancholy, and at the brink of depressing, so Les doesn’t read much poetry any more, but continues to write it. For many years Les plays on a sports team. Everybody on the team, except for two guys, likes to drink, a lot. They are often partying together, not only playing the sports together, but also drinking together, even during the games! One morning at practice, Les is one of the first there, and somebody tells him he plays an amazing guitar the night before. Les says no, is is not playing a guitar the night before at the party, because he has not ever played a guitar, so he does not know how. One by one, as each member of the team arrives at practice, they all tell him that he is playing an amzing guitar the night before at the party. Les does not remember any of this because he is very drunk at the party the night before, but if everybody says he is playing a guitar very impressively the night before, then it must be true, and he almost begins to remember trying to play a guitar the night before at the party. 

  Eventually he begins to play with a guitar a little bit, but with no success. It is obvious that Les does not know how to play a guitar. Hee starts to try to play a guitar because it might be possible to put some of his poetry to music, and maybe make some money doing that. But he is not having any luck learning how to play a guitar, but every once in awhile he plays something that sounds great out of nowhere, and it surprises those who are listening, because they listen to Les for many hours of not making any sense, to a brief time of excellency. Books are not effective in teaching Les, and when anybody tries to show him how to play something it is too confusing to Les. Even so, people show up every night to hear Les play, even though he does not know how to play anything. Perhaps it is the random raw energy that he is burning off trying to play a guitar that is enetrtaining to the others, or just life is too boring and they don’t have anything else to do. Les certainly can make a loud noise with a guitar, even if it isn’t harmonious or melodic in any way.

One day Les and a friend are riding in a dumptruck, hauling gravel. Les is building a place to live on the mountain, until one day he has a bad day, building isn’t going the way he wishes, so he decides to take up a friend’s offer to stay at a summer camp and water ski all summer. Les does this, the camp even has electricity, maybe Les just needs a break from the rigors of the mountain. As they are riding in this truck hauling gravel. Les sees a guitar at a yard sale which has all the strings. Les still does not know how to even correctly tune a guitar; he buys the guitar. As they are riding around, drinking, hauliung gravel; Les begins making rhymes about riding around in a dump truck, drinking, singing, and hauling gravel. Every day after that, Les’ friend asks him to sing that song, but there is no song to sing. This goes on for months, until Les decides to write a song about hauling gravel, thinking that if he sings the song his friend will stop asking him to sing it every day. It takes Les about twenty minutes to write the song, while he is working with a chain saw. That night, everybody shows up to listen to Les butcher his guitar, and as anticipated, his friend asks him to sing that song about hauling gravel.

  When Les is writing the song, he has a melodic in his head for the song, but he is unable to play it on a guitar because he does not know how to play anything on a guitar. He plays the song for his friends, reciting the words while trying to make an appropriate sound with the guitar, at least it is a beat. His friends are shocked, and amazed with the new song Les is singing. The purpose of writing the song is so they will stop asking him to sing a song that does not exist. Hear it once and then move on. But no, they ask him to sing the song over and over, as he tries to play a guitar to it. It takes Les fifteen years to learn how to play that song on a guitar. He learns how to play other songs before that one, but that song seems to be very popular with his friends. After about a year of singing that song over and over, Les decides it is time to write another, and begins searching for ideas for another song, and finds one. Then a year later, again, another new song because singing the same two songs is becoming monotonous. Les begins writing more songs, but doesn’t share them because they deal with his emotions, and he is not good at expressing those at this time of his life. The songs he does sing are funny, they make people laugh, forget their troubles. People start telling Les he is going to be a star. Whatever….. Little does he know that he already is.

January 12, 9:57 pm

Two days ago, on the tenth of January, Les wakes up in the morning from a dream. After many dreams of Leah, this one is considerably different than the others, it is considerably different than any dream he has ever dreamed. He can remember one dream many, many years ago, which involved physical contact with a woman. He does not remember the specifics of that dream, only that it involves intimate physical contact, Les is still a teenager when he has this dream. If he has ever had physical contact with anybody else in any other dream, he does not remember. The dream he just dreams with Leah also involves physical contact, not much, but it is contact, while contact is not part of the other dreams of Leah except the very first dream he ever has of her when he is holding her hand, and the second dream he has of her when they are ballroom dancing. In this dream two days ago, she walks up to Les and without hesitation kisses him on his mouth. It is not a long lasting kiss, it is a short, quick, deliberate kiss as if she is in a hurry when she appears in the dream. When Les wakes up from the kiss, he can still feel it on his mouth, as it is a forceful kiss. He also feels it on his mouth all day, and all the next day, and all day today. He still feels it now, as if it really does happen. 

January 13, 9:00 pm

Les knows it is only a dream, but he also believes that dreams are as real as our waking moments. He does not know if it is Leah kissing him in the dream, or if it is IAH kissing him, as the Holy Spirit assures Les that when Les loses this life and moves into the next dimension that the Holy Spirit IAH will appear to him as Leah. The plan was that this trip is only supposed to last about six months and now the director is making demands that imply Les not being home for another year? This is not setting well with Les. He knows they will come to an agreement. Les is not goinng to pressure himself too much, he will finish the job, but the director is making demands that Les feels are bordering upon unreasonable, as if he thinks Les will be fine if he doesn’t get home at a reasonable time. Les misses his family, he misses his mountain. Even though his cabin and all the belongings still sit on the ground in a pile of burned rubble, it is his rubble. He still loves his home. And he has to see Leah, he can not go on like this for too much longer. He is tempted to call, perhaps she might speak with him. But, whether she accepts his proposal or rejects it, Les wants to be looking into her eyes when she makes that decision. Whenever that moment arrives when he sees her again, that moment will be the perfect moment, whether it would be tomorrow or a year from tomorrow. If they are meant to be together, then the time is meaningless. 

Leah’s coworker did threaten him with harm if Les tries to contact Leah again, but that is over a year ago now, and Les did not take it seriously. But at the same time, Les does not want to cause any apprehension or tension with Leah, and making an issue about the coworker would do exactly that. The day before burying his mother, Les did try to call her at work. He was emotionally unstable at that moment, most people would be after losing a mother and best friend, then having the siblings turn against him. Les usually does well alone, he has IAH, but he also knows his life would be better with a woman, the right woman, and he can get so much more work done with the added inspiration. This trip has been exhausting, but he powers through it. He doesn’t even know if she is getting the postcards he sends. Les can handle rejection, he has done so all of his life, but when he is looking at Leah, her eyes do not appear to be rejecting him. Love is patient, love is kind. Les just has to be patient, do what is the right thing to the best of his ability, and let IAH take care of the rest. He wonders if she thinks of him. He wonders if she wonders if he is coming back to see her, or does she know he is. The relationship got off to rocky beginning, thanks to Les’ unorthodox way of doing things. Les wants to be with Leah for the rest of his life. Perhaps she is wondering about that same length of time. It is one thing for a person to make a few advances and then be discouraged when the results are not what is hoped. It is also another thing when a few advances are made, not serious advances, but just enough to let that person know that they are being thought about and cared for, and then time rolls on, the person is still there because he does not ever want to leave.

January 17, 9:25 pm

Les has second thoughts about this trip, almost wishing that he is not making it but still on top of his mountain in Maine. The agenda appears to have changed as if the director is trying to confine Les into staying in Los Angeles, or on the road without having any time at home on his mountain. That is not going to happen, Les will quit before that happens.

January 19, 10:28 am

  Les Has moments of uncertainty, like most humans do at some point of their lives or another, until he realizes something. His negative attitude is the result of not trusting the Holy Spirit IAH enough. For any person to be successful, a positive attitude is required. When Les is letting his mind be distracted by carnal desires he is not walking in the path of light and love. Having Leah kiss him in his dream is a wake up call to reach deeper and do better.Yes, he is upset that he will not get back to his mountain as soon as hoped for, which means he also will not see Leah as soon as he hopes, but he also has to trust in the Spirit of IAH that he is exactly where he is supposed to be. He is considering flying back to his home for a short time, just to see Leah.

The company that makes the supplies that Les distributes on his trip is now out of business. That company sold the contract to make the materials to another company, which is not making the materials properly, so the director says that it may be a month and a half before les is back on the road again, and Les does not like this at all. Of course there has to be some drama, this story would otherwise be more boring than it already is. There is something going on in society now that is affecting every nation on earth. Les does not want to address this subject in his book because of not wanting the event to become part of the story, although it may before the end of the story. He is still, as he is every day, bewildered by how much and how often she is on his mind.

January 21, 9:04 pm

  Today is a rather special day. Last March, when Les’s home burns down with almost all his tools, his tree climbing gear is lost to the fire. Once he moves from Maine to Los Angeles many years ago, he buys the gear to trim a giant elm tree, before his path takes  him in another direction. Eventually, it is the gear that helps him become self employed, as well as many interesting experiences. Being able to climb trees with a chain saw is what leads him to a job that lasts twenty years. When his home burns down, he decides to become a professional musician because he does not have tools to work with, and believes he will not ever climb trees again. It is very hard work, which is why Les likes doing it. It takes a special attitude, and very physically demanding. As it turns, while les is currently in Los Angeles after ten years of imagining he will not ever return, a tree job falls into his lap. The gear is very expensive, so Les presents the person with a bid, and the person accepts the bid. Les has barely enough money to buy the equipment, nearly one thousand dollars, and the person with the tree says he will reimburse Les with the cash tomorrow. Some peolpe tell Les he is too old to be climbing trees, he hears that for a few years now. He doesn’t look for the work, but he likes to have the gear when the situation arises. Les is beginning to feel a little swagger. Les does not like to be dictated to, which is ironic. He has not ever married because he is unwilling to compromise, but he will do anything if Leah asks him; except take any kind of artificial medicine, visit a doctor or take a shot in the arm, or eat sushi. He likes a lot of different foods, so why should he try something he doesn’t think he will like? He does not think he dislikes sushi, he knows it. No raw fish, trying to get him to eat something he doesn’t want will remind him of his stepfather. But the reality is, if she wants him to try one bite, he will.

He has a conversation with the director today to clear up the misunderstanding about Les wanting to go home. It isn’t an emergency if Les knows he will have some time at home before the next cycle of trips begins. Les doesn’t envision doing the traveling for more than two years, and a lot is dependent on how Leah responds when he is able to confront her. After beginning to weaken and consider other alternatine scenarios with another woman, the dream Les has in which Leah gives him a quick, hard kiss on the lips that he feels for several days, or even now, every time he thinks of it, makes him feel like he is married to her, and he has yet to even ask her out. He tries to imagine how their next conversation will go. He thinks she will talk to him, either because she is interested in learning more about Les, or to inform him that he should look elsewhere. Les feels as if this story is kind of boring, and maybe that is a good thing. Today is not boring at all in any way. Tomorrow he tackles the giant tree.

January 23, 6:27 pm

  Les arrives at the tree site early, finds a place to park and then prepares his brand new tree climbing gear before climbing the tree. He works several hours cutting branches from the top of the tree, working from the top down, as the owner of the tree is standing on the roof of his garage cutting the branches into small pieces with an electric chain saw. Even more importantly, he is untying the rope after it lowers a branch to the roof, so Les can pull the rope back up into the tree without having to climb back down the tree to untie the rope, and have to climb back up the tree to remove another branch. Climbing a big tree with equipment is very physically demanding. This is why Les likes removing trees, it is physically demanding. He has not ever had a person on the ground to untie a rope for him. Being able to stay at the top of the tree without climbing up and down allows him to get more done in less time. It is clear to Les that the tree can not be done in one day. He plans to quit for the day after he uses up all the gasoline in the chainsaw he is borrowing to get the job done. Until the owner of the tree, Angelo accidently cuts Les’s brand new rope he is using to lower the branches once a branche is already untied and laying on the roof. Instead of a brand new one hundred and fifty foot drop rope, Les has not ever had a brand new drop rope; now Les has a one hundred and ten foot drop rope, and a forty foot drop rope. He tells Angelo that the Holy Spirit must want Les to have two drops instead of one. Les feels that having his first brand new drop rope cut into two pieces the very first time he uses it is rather amusing. When Les climbs down the tree to the ground to fix the ends of the ropes, they both agree that that is enough for the day, then Les leaves just in time to avoid being in the tree during a sudden, violent hail storm, which is making driving difficult. Les thanks IAH for the two new pieces of rope, and for sending him down out of the tree before the hail storm. Of course, IAH reminds him again why Les is such a lucky man: Leah. 

January 25, 9:38am

  On the way to the the tree job yesterday morning, Les stops  at the the construction supply store to pick up a small item in case it is needed while he is working on the tree. A woman who works there initiates a conversation with Les, and he realizes this woman is making herself available to Les. He thinks about this interaction for the rest of the day, not because she is attractive, but because he feels guilty thinking about anybody except Leah. Les doesn’t make any arrangements with this woman, or even ask her name or number. He is faithful to a woman he has only spoken to three times, three very short conversations, or is he faithful? There is no commitment or agreement between the two of them, and Leah’s coworker did say to Les that Leah is “with” somebody. His mind wanders from time to time, but when he is in the tree he can hear the new song he writes for Leah playing in the back of his mind. It is the soundtrack of his life. It is a song describing the moment their eyes first meet at the supermarket, the moment that still repeats itself in his mind throughout the day, every day, even though it happens over two years ago.

As he is in the tree yesterday, he decides to stop at a certain point, the most difficult branch to remove is the next branch, and Les feels as if he should wait until another day when he is refreshed, and strong. His first day of climbing doesn’t affect him, but the second day does, using muscles he has not in many years. Perhaps it is the aching bones and muscles that are causing him the think of the woman at the construction materials supply store. For the second day in a row, he climbs out of the tree prior to an event that would require him to climb out of the tree anyway. That next branch will require a great deal of focus and strength to remove, so it is better to let his aches and pains subside, and go out on that limb refreshed and strong. Some people say aching bones and muscles is a result of getting old, but remembers his late teens and early twenties, working so hard on a daily basis, being exhausted at the end of the day. Age has nothiong to do with it. 

January 30, 6:43 pm

  Spending a few days ia a decent hotel, Les thinks it is a good opportunity to catch up on studying, but after not sleeping on a real bed for seven months, he gets lazy> It is almost a relief to sleep in the camper again. He wakes up this morning after having a dream about a woman. She makes a pleasant appearance. The short dream takes place at a backyard barbecue, there is not physical contact between them, and as Les is about to whisper something in her ear, he wakes up. Les is not too particularly happy when he wakes up because the woman in the dream is attractive, and she isn’t Leah. First he is not particularly happy because he is enjoying the woman’s presence in the dream, then waking he is not particularly happy because of having a dream about anybody but Leah. He drives to the tree to continue the job, and as he is dangling and swinging around the top of the tree, he notices a neighbor two houses down, spending some time cleaning the yard, doing yardwork. The neighbor is the woman from the dream. This does not surprise Les, he has experience with dreams that reveal something he sees or hears before it happens. Those kind of dreams begin to happen after he reads the entire bible the first time many years ago. Upon finishing this book for the first time he has no intention of reading the book again.   

February 1, 2:56 am

  Les is just finishing up almost sixteen hours of working on his upcoming Texas trip. When Texas is done, he will be on his way to Maine. He already knows something special will happen in Texas. He will be leaving it for Maine, at least that is the plan. The past day he remains very focused. Anytime he discovers his mind beginning to wander, he begins his prayer to the Holy Spirit IAH. Of course, his image of that Holy Spirit is of Leah. He feels as if he is going far, far past having strong feelings for her, further and stronger than any experience he has previously in this life. Sometimes it makes him feel so happy, he may finds tears on his eyes. There is a possibility he will not ever see her again, but he loves her, and that is all that matters now, to feel that kind of love of which there are two possibilities he may know from the past: his mother and his grandmother. Surely, as a child, an infant, he loves them with all his heart and soul, before he grows and the world turns him in a different direction; teaching him not to love so strongly. But now, Les is not afraid of that pain. The more it hurts, the more he will call upon and pray to IAH until it is over.

February 11, 5:28 pm

Les is struggling with remaining in focus for the past ten days. There are so many good looking women in this big city, and he is lonely, so it creates a confliction within him. There is also the issue at work in which the director is trying to dictate to Les how much time Les can spend on the road traveling and how much time Les can spend on his mountain. Les will complete the job at hand and do the trip for one more cycle, but he is not planning to spend more time away from home than at home, because then being away from home becomes his home, and his home becomes a polace to visit. There are also social issues that are weighing heavy on Les. He does not want to write about them, because he does not want to introduce that issue into the story, making it a consistent theme. He remembers writing about people wearing masks earlier in the story, and he wonders if the story will even come to an end before the resources to write are no longer available. War is imminent, not just a war on another continent, or in another country, but here in this country. There is already a war going on, it just has yet to resort to all out warfare. More than anything, he wants to see Leah to find out which side she is on. If she is on the other side, then Les will have to disregard the hope he has of spending the rest of his life with her. Whatever happens, Les believes that IAH will guide him, so he has to put more effort into doing the things that IAH expects of him. There is also the issue of whenever he meets a pleasant woman who appears to be interested, and he begins to think that he might not ever see Leah again, he has a very very vivid dream about her.

February 13, 3:19 pm

  Les is not happy today. He isn’t happy because he can’t get Leah out of his mind, and anything he tries to do to ease the tension only makes him feel worse while clearly moving in not only the wrong direction, but a direction that is not healthy to Les. If he knows that she wants to see him again, he can cope with the daily pressures with ease, his mind will not ever wander from her, and he couldn’t possibly be happier. It barely wanders now, even without knowing what her position is. When it does wander, it is not good for Les. It is generally regarded as foolishness for a man to put all of his energy into a single direction without knowing the outcome. He could call her office and ask for her, but that is the easy way out, and even if he didn’t hear back from her, he isn’t so sure that would be the end of his dilemma, because of how their interaction in the supermarket parking lot proceeded. The way he turns around and walks away without closing the deal, quite possibly giving her the impression that he isn’t interested, when in fact he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. When Les feels that he needs help to stay on the right path, it is the same story over and over throughout his entire life. He turns to IAH for guidance. After all, that is the purpose of this story, to present the Holy Spirit as the solution to all problems and to overcome all challenges, but Les is not doing such a good job at that consistently enough.

Everybody has done at least one thing in their life, or said something that they do not know why they said it or did it, because of not being the way they normally think or feel. Anger is a good example. Every person loses their temper at least once in their lifetime. Les believes there are two forces at work in every person, two souls, two spirits: the positive and the negative. The negative can be divided into many divisions, but the positive is only one energy, love. Many of the negative energies disguise themselves as love, or positive energy out of necessity, because if it is known that it is actually a negative energy they might night survive, or thrive. There is also the concept that every negative energy is actually a form of positive energy because energy is alive. What Les struggles with is looking or thinking about anybody but Leah. He thinks of the girl at the nearby restaurant that suddenly has become very friendly when he is there for something to eat. She was not talkative at all until one of her coworkers compliments an article of clothing Les is wearing. The mask. Les wears a mask that is somewhat controversial to say the least.

February 16, 10:20 pm

  Les has a rough day today. He makes it through yesterday with less than one half of a cigarette. Today he already smokes one and will most likely have one more before he falls to sleep, or tries to fall asleep. He is very stressed out as he tries to work, but is just not feeling well. He thinks the headache he has for the past three days is because of the dirty air. He wants to go home, but he is also not a quitter, even though this job is taking twice as long as expected, and the end is still months away. He goes to the restaraunt where the pretty girl works just to take a look at her. He buys a water, that is all. When she speaks to him, she speaks very loud and clear, she continually calls him sir, and he thinks he will soon tell her that he would prefer she call him by his name, which he has not yet told her. The big city is getting to him, he does not wish to be here. He might call somewhere to ask how he can volunteer to help anybody, anybody at all, but the choices are limited. He has much experience with what are supposed to be great causes, but are still looking out for their own bottom line. Perhaps he will give a homeless person some money tomorrow, or maybe ssee a yound parent and give the parent money to help with their child. It won’t be a lot of money, but it will be something, and every little bit helps.

  He has written two letters to Leah, but is apprehensive to send them, because he does not want to cause any negative energy for her in the very least. Les knows there is something different about him, but he refuses to take medication of any kind, he would rather disappear into the woods to not be seen again, which is kind of what he wants. Tobacco is a medication, he is close to quitting completely. He also buys some alcohol, but does not drink any of it. He wants to call Leah’s office, but he does not want to leave a message without knowing if she will call. He also is falling into the low self esteem, feeling that he is not good enough for her, considering his past. He also knows that his good qualities far outweigh his bad qualities. He just has a lot of emotion trapped inside of him without any outlet. He misses his family, his cousins’ children. He quit driving early today because it is difficult to focus, and does not want to get involved in any kind of accident. It is seeing any child with the cloth on their faces, it is tearing him apart. He also believes this too shall pass, but for today it is here, and he does not enjoy the day. Ice cream cake helps a little.

February 17, 6:13 am

  Les is up early this morning, he wakes at 4:23 to be exact. He leaves the phone in the office the night before so he isn’t certain what time it is until he goes into the office, and decides to stay up. He is feeling better because his headache is gone. He wakes from a dream about the house he grew up in. A strange dream indeed.

  8:26 pm

  Les gets a good start to the day. He doesn’t try to push to hard because his headache has eased, so he doesn’t want to stress out by pushing himself too hard. He goes into a particular electronics store for the first time in over ten years and is shocked. It use to be the number one place to buy anything electronics related, now over half the shelves are empty. He remembers when the huge parking lot was always full, today there is just a few cars there. He has to go to another store to finally find what he is looking for, a store that he does not particularly like, but it has what he needs to begin a different phase of recording music. He also studies some music notation for the first time in nearly eleven months, since his music books are lost in the fire.

  At the end of the normal hours of work, he decides to go to his favorite restaurant. When the person brings his food to the vehicle, the man accuses Les of harassing a worker during a previous visit. Les is completely shocked. The manager accuses Les of making the other server uncomfortable, and if he does it again he will no longer be welcome there. Les tells the manager that the server must have been imagining things. Les is puzzled because he does not remember being rude or suggestive. After he leaves, he remembers the woman being what appeares to be very friendly, and Les remembers thinking that she might have been flirting with him. But he does not respond accordingly. There is a chapter in the Bible that describes a woman trying to seduce a certain employee, and when he doesn’t give her what she wants, she makes up a big lie and the employee is thrown into prison. Les has experienced this personally several times in his life. Luckilly there is a legal process that proves him innocent each time, but Les is also a victim of serious offenses when he is a small child. These experiences prevent Les from growing up normally as a child, and causes emotional problems throughout his life. He does well to work through them, but not without a toll.

  He was hoping, planning to stop in at the local restaurant where the pretty girl works. When the incident happens this afternoon, he decides not to go because he doesn’t want to be accused of something he is innocent of again. By being accused of being a predator, he feels victimized, and is reminded of why he has such a difficult time trusting a woman. It also makes him wonder if she should just forget about Leah.

February 21, 11:02 pm

  Yesterday, Les books a flight home to Maine. He can rationalize being away from home. All the years he was away from home living in California before returning to Maine; every night he closes his eyes and pretends that the ringing in his ears are the peepers and frogs singing at night. As his eyes are closed he feels at home. But he cannot continue to close his eyes at night and think of Leah until finding out if she wants to share his journey.. He justifies taking a few days off by saying he is homesick and wants to see his family, but it is Leah he wants to see, or if he doesn’t see her at least make an attempt. He can continue thinking about her, but does not want to spend the rest of life alone. If she doesn’t want to share his journey, he does not like to even think of that possibility. He writes a letter to send to her to let her know what day he will arrive and seek her out. He hopes that she will be curious about what he is doing as he sends the postcards from so many far away places. He also hopes that the poetry he sends her will help erase his blunder of turning around and walking away. Maybe she was hoping he would ask her out all along, but he had issues to take care of. Perhaps she would have overlooked those shortcomings, but Les wants to be in a position to help her with her goals, not have her helping him with his, because she is every goal he could, can, or ever will imagine. Just knowing he is going home feels like a huge weight off his shoulders, even if it is only for a week.

February 22, 2:32 am

  Les is working into the early hours, perhaps he is getting a second wind, or a thrird, or fourth. He keeps forgetting who he is. Going home to Maine will remind him. Perhaps he will buy a cheap electric guitar while he is there. He has always stated that a good musician can make a low quality instrument sound good. Earlier in this story he begins to describe how he comes to be a musician, or actually, how he discovers that he is one. Some people describe him as being able to play nonstop for a couple of days without repeating himself. That is play nonstop from dawn to dusk, then to dawn again, then dusk again. Yes, Les occasionally feels that this story is getting a little monotonous or uneventful, but that is only temporary. It is only just beginning. There may be a few things that Les cannot do with a guitar, but there are also things he can do that nobody else can. He has spent most of his life trying to avoid making money doing those things and staying true to the art form. But now, these are different times. Due to how society and civilization is changed dramatically, all the concessions are put on hold. Part of that is also due to wanting to be his best for Leah, to use his best talents in the best possible way. That means teach children. He isn’t quite sure how he will proceed to do that, but IAH will show him the way.

5:31 am

Les is listening to some of his favorite old music to help keep him awake and pushing forward. He imagines the future, sharing it with Leah, either in this life or another, or more than listening to the music, but being the music with her, dancing forever. 

March 1, 8:05 pm

  In his life, Les generally works twice as long at half the pay rate, just to help people. He does not take a job just for the sake of having a job, because money is not his motivation. What happens is that when he is helping somebody, the people he helps are getting a bargain and eventually begin not only taking Les for granted, but expect him to continue until Les begins to feel he is being taken advantage of. He does not mind being taken advantage of, but it is not a lifelong goal of his. He doesn’t mind being taken advantage of, but he feels better about it when those that are taken advantage of him at least give them the impression that he is appreciated. This is what is different of Leah. He wouldn’t care what she askes of him. Les is normally a one hundred and ten percent guy, and a relationship with Leah will guarantee that he is happy giving his one hundred and ten percent until his very last day. 

When Les leaves Maine, his only clothes are those which he is wearing. Before the fire, Les does not ever have to buy clothing or footwear again because he has a large collection of everything he needs. When he leaves Maine and arrives to California, he buys two pairs of pants, underwear and socks. Because of the long trip, he does not want to transport more than necessary, and he is very particular about what he wears. Now that he is scheduled to return to Maine for a week, he feels the need for extra clothes. Getting weary of having to wash his two pairs every couple of days. He looks for his style, but can not find the correct size. Because of where society appears to be going, he decides he should buy something just to have some clothes, so he buys several pairs of pants that are close to his style and size. He obviously wants to look good when he walks into Leah’s office. He remembers when he used to buy a new set of clothes just because of not wanting to go home to change, and he looks for the stores where he used to buy some of his clothes. There is a store in a building he used to work in, it didn’t sell clothes back then, but it does now, a thrift store. So he goes in.

  The people tending the store do not have the same color skin as Les. They are most likely not going to allow his skin color to prohibit him spending his money there, and Les does not discriminate only on the color of a person’s skin. Anybody that says they do not discriminate on a person’s skin color is a liar. If we did not discriminate over the color of a person’s skin, we would not even notice that skin colors are different. We would not see the color of the skin. When Les walks around the end of the counter to pay for his clothing, he notices that the woman attending to his transaction looks very attractive from behind. He takes care of the transaction and then returns to the truck, anxious to see Leah again, because he knows that of all the pretty, beautiful, attractive women he has ever seen, Leah is far and away number one. The second most beautiful woman that ever lived on this earth would only be half as pretty as her. If she refuses his advances, then he will will just have to live the rest of life with second best, knowing that when he leaves this life he will find her in the next. 

 Les has been writing this story for over a year, and it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. At one point it zseemee that whether Leah or not approves of his advances is the topic, but this story is barely beginning, if it even has began at all. The purpose of the story is to outline how positive energy will lead to success, but Les still lingers just enough in the negative energy to allow the story to develop. Perhaps it is necessary to establish a pattern of negative energy to allow the story to highlight the effects of positive energy. Les believes that everything is energy, and there is really no such thing as negative energy, or death, although it is possible that in the absence of positive energy there is nothing, and that non existence is actually a death of something where even a minimum of positive energy one does exist. For if there is any life at all, then there has to be some form of energy to achieve that life, until the negative energy cancels out the positive energy. It does not matter how Leah will respond, it will be a magical moment.

  When he returns from shopping, after guzzling down a few beers, Les gets back to entering the information he gathers on the trip up to this point. He finds some music and begins playing the songs of a band called Spirit. A he enters the information into the place it is kept from the business cards he collects on the trip, the second card he gets to is from a company called Spirit Motorcycles. He hasn’t listened to the band Spirit for at least a year. Of the nearly one thousand business cards he gathers along the way of this journey, the odds of the card from a place called Spirit coming up while he is listening to a band called Spirit can not even be calculated. This is the story of Les’ life, and why he continues in the direction that his spirit leads him instead of allowing the demands of society to dictate his path. These kinds of experiences can not be possible unless there is an external force guiding him.

March 4, 5:41 pm

  Last night, as Les is moving the truck from the street to the parking lot, he notices that the edge of the camper is up against a sign.  Because the camper is wider than the truck and hangs out over the back, he must be careful about how he manuevers the truck. He cuts the wheels and backs up a little to create some disstance between the sign and the camper, and as he begins to pulls away he feels the camper against the sign, but he is thinking that it is just scraping the top a little and drives off. Later that night he returns to the camper to sleep and notices the door is open. This alarms him as it appears that someone may have broken into the camper. He soon realizes what has happened. It isn’t the sign scapping the top part of the camper when he drives off, but the bottom part of the camper caught on the sign and is ripped completely off, while pulling the back wall off the camper out a considerable measure. At first Les is not happy about this, but soon realizes not to let it upset him and he will fix it. After tying the door closed with a belt so nobody can open it when he is sleeping, he climbs into bed and falls asleep.

  He has three dreams. The first is that rain is falling and there is water spraying all over the camper. He then realizes, in the dream, that a water pipe is broken and that is what is causing the water to spray all over the place. It is so realistic, when he wakes up he feels around for wet spots to make sure it is only a dream. The second dream is of a young boy breaking into the camper. Les grabs the young boy by the back of the neck, pushing him out the door and telling him to go home and behave himself, and telling him that is is lucky that Les does not report him to the authorities. The third dream is waking up to a noise outside, as somebody is doing something to the truck. Les walks outside and sees a man standing by the passenger door. When the man sees Les, he pulls a long baton from the top of the cab and begins swinging it by the rope attached to the baton. The man also has two friends there, and when they see Les the three of them begin to walk towards Les in a threatening manner. When the man with the baton makes the first move, swinging the baton at Les, Les grabs it out of his hand and then waves it in the air before the three men realize they are suddenly in a situation they do not want to be in and run away.

  Les is unsure what the dreams mean, and is puzzled why he would have three dreams relative to the camper in one night, especially the night that the camper is damaged; initially appearing to be much worse than it really is. Maybe in the first dream all the water represents all the tears Les has cried throughout the trip. If water represents emotion in dreams, then perhaps the water in the dream not being a leak, but of a broken pipe signifies that the heightened emotion that Les is feeling is not because of where he thinks it is coming from. Perhaps he funnels the super strong emotions towards Leah as a way of releasing them. Perhaps the dream about the boy is reminding Les of how he enjoys working with children. He has made enough mistakes in his life so he is able to counsel children who are open to advice. Perhaps the third dream about chasing off the attackers is to remind Les not to be afraid, IAH is with him.

  He has no idea of how Leah will respond when he returns to give her a vow. Part of him is afraid that she will brush off his advance and end any speculation he may have of her. He tries to rationalize that if she does turn him down, it is the plan of IAH to make Les a stronger person. Les is unsure; he has almost always listened to his heart and defying logic. If she turns him down, will he ever trust his heart again? He will continue to trust IAH regardless, so it isn’t so much of whether he will ever trust his heart again, but whether he will trust it to a woman. If she says no, he still has to deal with IAH appearing as Leah when Les finds his way into the next world.

  One thing the dreams of last night do, they remind Les of how real they are. For most of his life he believes that dreams are just as real and relevant as our waking hours, and it is possible to walk from one dream right into another without any memory of a previous life other that what is allowing us to proceed in self awareness. His mind plays over and over again what he will say to her if he sees her again, when he sees her again. If he doesn’t see her again in this life, he will see her in a dream, and in the next life. He does not know how he will react to not seeing her again in this life, or how long he would take before finding another woman, or if he can ever trust his heart concerning another woman again. One thing is certain, since this trip is confirmed, it feels like a giant weight of his shoulders. He still is stressed out, but in a different kind of way. Thoughts of her still consume him, but the consumption isn’t overwhelming him as much. Yes, the waves of emotion are intense, but being able to see the light at the end of the tunnel makes the waves easier to bear. Perhaps the waves of emotion are like water, at first they knock him around as he struggles to keep his head above water, trying not to drown, trying to reach shore; now he feels the waves almost like wind in his sails. Les has waited over two years for Leah. He has not been completely faithful, but that is part of the struggle. Anybody else makes him feel guilty when he shouldn’t, until he has no other direction but to try to see her again. He remembers taking a surfing lesson many years ago. Wanting to learn a little about surfing before taking a trip to Hawaii, he goes out surfing with a friend. 

  There is an extra wet suit, but no gloves or foot coverings. The water is very cold, and there are not many good waves. After awhile Les gets tired from so much paddling with any surfing and tries to make his way to shore to catch a breather. As he gets closer to the shore, he tries to walk on the ocean floor, but the floor is rocky, and his feet are feeling frozen from the cold sea. He can not really feel his feet other than them grinding into the rocky floor and is having a difficult time keeping his balance on the uneven rocky floor. Then a wave knocks Les off his feet. As he is struggling to get his footing, feeling his frozen feet trying to get his footing, another wave knocks him over, then another and another, until he gives up in exhaustion, and maybe a little hypothermia. He clutches onto the surfboard, again in a fetal position, and hopes the waves wash him to shore before he drowns. Then he feels somebody grab him by his shoulders. It is his friend, who then helps him to shore. Les gets in the van, finished with surfing, while his friend returns to the water to try and catch another wave. As Les is putting on a sneaker, he has trouble with the sneaker because his foot will not go into the sneaker. Les keeps looking inside the sneaker, looking for something that would prevent his foot from going into the sneaker. This is puzzling because he can not find anything wrong with the sneaker, or anything in the sneaker. He then realizes why his foot will not go in,because there is a giant bump on the side of his foot from grinding his foot into the ocean floor. That is the last time Les ever tries to surf. He could possibly try again some day, but not without the proper equipment.

  That is the second time in his life that Les has been underwater in a fetal position. He has been in many accidents in his life, broken so many bones, so many close calls with end of life as we know it experiences. He is about ten or eleven years old when he is knocked unconscious for the first time, and probably has been knocked out at least five or six times. This is not supposed to be good for the brain. Add to that all the evil abuse he suffered at the hands of authoritative figures when he is very young, he is lucky to live this long. He knows that, but sometimes forgets it. He doesn’t feel lucky about being so far away from home during these troubling times, but he trusts IAH. 

  He wonders what Leah is thinking when she receives that first postcard, if she does indeed receive it. One of her co-workers does not like Les, it is possible the card is hidden from her, or the second card, or the third card. Maybe she instructs her co-workers to throw then away before she can see them because she does not want anything to do with Les. He has no way of knowing. He could call and perhaps get a clue, but an issue of such importance to him is not something he wqnts to handle over the telephone. He seemingly turns her down on his initial approach, which is what most people would think. Turning around and leaving without saying a word to a person you are wildly in love with generally would be considered rejection. But that is not what is going on in his mind, and once she knows this perhaps she will gain a little compassion for Les. He could call it respect, but there are different forms of respect. There is a kind of respect for other humans based on their being human, and there is respect for others based on what they are wearing. Les does not respect the latter form.

March 6, 11:49 am

  Yesterday, Les is not feeling great. He can’t say anything to anybody about not feeling good because of an imaginary killer disease that the establishment is promoting. He knows why he is not feeling good. Too much stress, exhaustion, overworking, not enough healthy food, and not enough exercise. He isn’t hungry, but feels he should eat something, so he orders a big spread of food to last him three days, before realizing he can not drive the truck to pick it up because the camper needs a repair. So he takes a taxi, which makes him uncomfortable because he has to wear a certain article of clothing required by the taxi before he can ride in the taxi. He returns with the food, and doesn’t eat much before realizing that he doesn’t want to eat this food, even though is cost him over one hundred dollars for everything. So he packs it up; he is tempted to eat the fruit cobbler, how bad can it be? No, he wants home cooking, so he takes the food outside to the end of the block and leaves it by a homeless encampment. That is what used to irritate Les, and still does; so many institutions drawing attention to themselves for feeding hungry homeless people, but they feed them second rate food. Les realizes that he is going to fast until he arrives at the office where Leah works. Two and a half days, which now is reduced to forty-eight hours from now. He begins to plan what he is going to pack. He also realizes that this is the end of another chapter in this story. Regardless of what happens when he tries to find Leah, it will be a new chapter.

Chapter III

March 16, 8:18 pm

  When Les arrives in Maine, he gets a rental car and drives straight to Leah’s workplace. He stops on a backroad along the way to get out and change into nicer, fresh clothes, but the office is closed when he gets there. He returns the next day, but still at about the same time as the day before and the office is closed again. The next day he goes there in the morning and the office is open. He walks in, but there is nobody there. He speaks loudly to see if anybody is there, because he doesn’t want to snoop around, but nobody answers, so he waits. As he is waiting, he notices the carpet is dingy, dirty, and he wonders why is it so dirty. What the place needs is a new carpet, but even a shampoo might help, even sweeping it with a broom would help. He wonders what kind of place this really is to let the carpet become so disgusting. Being tall, Les notices a stack of papers on top of a shelf, a list of dos and don’ts for employees. One of the don’ts is “do not trade vegetables with clients,” and the entire list is about not getting too close with clients. Les believes that to counsel children, the whole idea is to get close, to win the child’s trust. After trying to think of everything he would not compromise with Leah over, he certainly did not think of that. Suddenly he is not enamored by Leah any more. He doesn’t even know if she still works there, he would hope not, but he does not have any way to know for sure. He is surprised at how apathetic he is after she has been at the forefront of his mind for over two years, that he does not feel hurt. It almost feels as a relief, especially since he has just learned he is getting his own radio show! That still does not change the fact that IAH looks like her. Not only does he have his own radio show, but somebody wants to broadcast his travels. Things are about to get very interesting. He no longer feels guilty about looking at another woman.

March 28, 8:49 pm

When Les first realizes that Leah is not the one for him, he feels a great weight off his shoulders. He no longer feels guilty about looking at other women and thinking of the various possibilities. The sight of that nasty looking carpet that is on the floor of the office where she works lingers in his mind and makes him wonder how that place could even stay in business. Suggesting to others how to live their life with  a nasty carpet on their own floor? It is like the saying, a person can not help another person who has a piece of sawdust in their eye until they get rid of the entire log out of their own eye. Les also learned a lot aand took a big step forward towards having his own radio show today, possiblt being able to double his airtime each day from one hour to two hours.

  He still isnt convinced that the Leah is going to disappear from his mind, because he keeps getting tremendous waves of emotion, like a gust of wind blowing through him, accompanied with thoughts of her. It’s the same as before, the things he does and thinks about to distract him from thinking about her are thinmgs that are unhealthy for him.

April 6, 3:54 am

When Les has a date, it gives him an unusually guilty feeling. With Leah out of his future plans, he should feel free to associate with anybody he wants, but he doesn’t, and the experience clouds his mind for days. He is about to embark on a new adventure, with a lot at stake riding on his progress. Les is generally successful whenever he applies himself to a certain degree, but hasn’t ever been able to fully apply himself for a sustained amount of time to rise up to another level; whatever that level is. Today he realizes he has to apply himself for at least two years towards this new adventure, without letting anybody or anything distract distract him from the goal. What ever the result is, the goal is to apply himself fully. He would like to find a woman to travel with him, but can’t take any chances of drama preventing him from properly completing the upcoming task. He feels there is a revolution happening but one set of the powers that be is not yet backed the other set of powers that be against the wall enough to ignite a sustained widespread disturbance. But the signs signal that a sustained widespread disturbance will occur.

As Les is driving along today, not feeling very good about being alone, the moment he realizes he has to just accept that he will be alone, and be thankful to IAH that he has still enough life left to apply himself more than he ever has, suddenly he is overcome with very strong feelings and as if Leah is all around him, he feels a presence. He then notices that his phone has just rang. He looks at the phone to see who called, it a number he does not recognize, it is from Maine. It may be a wrong number, or a salesman, but that the number is from Maine, and that the phone is ringing while he is feeling an unusually high degree of anxiety, feels as if IAH is giving Les a reminder. The number could be Leah. He tries to convince himself that she is no longer part of this story, but he is unable to, because he can not think of IAH without thinking of her.

April 7, 12:13 pm

  Les calls the number from the missed call of the day before from the office telephone. A woman answers, Les tells her that he doesn’t receive many calls from Maine and that he is wondering who called, then the woman hangs up. Les can remember occasions in his past when an ex calls from a different number so she can remain anonymous, and then then Les calls the number to hear the person answering, always a woman, saying that she didn’t dial that number. But even if the number is dialed by mistake, it can not be denied that the call came from that number. But this time the person hangs up. 

This morning Les has a very vivid dream about a white owl. It is amongst the ducks waddling around on the farm. He can not remember all the details of the dream, and that the dream is part of a sequence of dreams. Les almost reaches the end of his paperwork the night before, today he finishes it. Now he is ready to move onto the next phase of his new projects, finally!! Perhaps the largest project he has ever taken on, and the most exciting. He remembers having goals which he works many years to accomplish, but after sitting on top of the mountain, playing guitar and feeding birds for ten years, he decides that is what he really wants to do. The rest of the world can descend into chaos, as it certainly appears to be in an accelerated motion towrds doing that, and he will watch it from the top of his mountain. He feels that it is not by accident that he is lured off the mountain and then given the opportunity to achieve his former goal.

April 12, 11:45 pm

  Les has more vivid dreams, one morning he wakes up from a dream about a yellow warbler, then he dreams about honeybees building a hive on top of his head. He researches the dreams, they all appear to relate to exactly what he is going through; about to take a big trip. There may be danger involved, but the trip is predicted to lead to happiness. He also begins working on his radio show, and gets close to completing an hour, but still has to configure his new devices so he can record new songs easily. He also has to learn how to produce his music for commercial use. He is getting close. Last night when he is almost asleep, he feels like what is a warm breeze, like a wave of contentment pass through his body. It is identical to the sensation he had sitting in the rocking chair over a year ago, when he hears the message “This is a wonderful opportunity.” This time the message is, “She is still missing you.” He doesn’t know who the “she” is though. Is it Leah? He doesn’t understand how she can miss him, unless she misses the post cards sends to her. Tomorrow he begins driving locally, just to get out of the office.

April 13, 11:11 pm

  When Les is in Maine recently, he makes an attempt to connect with Leah. In doing so, he discovers a reason to block her from his mind and not consider her to be part of his future. He knows how to move on from a failed relationship, having plenty of experience doing that. He does not have any reason to think about her any more, so why does she continue to appear in his thoughts? Perhaps IAH the Holy Spirit is using her to punish Les for not putting more effort into improving areas of his life that need to be. 

May 3, 5:02 pm

   It is nearly three weeks since the last time Les adds to the story. He is four weeks before getting back on the road, and he is and has been working steady to be ready to roll when the time comes. He makes an effort to move on from thinking about Leah, but that effore is not successful. He is also a bit disenchanted with writing, but he can not just give up without following through and finishing the story, even though he does not know how the story will end. He remembers not even knowing when the story actually begins. 

   A few days ago, Les is driving on a highway, perhaps seven or eight car lengths behind a tow truck that is towing a car, at about sixty miles per hour. Suddenly he sees something floating and spinning in the air, about twenty feet in the air. The way it is floating and spinning, it looks like a piece of cardboard, a big piece of cardboard. As it is appearing to getting closer to him, it flips a certain way, and his eyes catch a glimpse of what it is. It is a car hood! He hits the brakes and the hood lands directly in front of the truck, and flops down just perfectly before he runs over it. It all happens so fast he does not have time to come to a complete stop, and luckily it doesn’d do any damage to the truck. If Les does not recignize that it is a car hood and stop in time, the car hood comes through the windshield at over sixty miles per an hour. That would certainly be the end of this story.

   Recently, he pulls into a parking spot and notices a yellow warbler on the curb. He has not been throwing birdseed out regularly, he has to begin doing that again. He also spends almost two days working on his future radio show. He still has a few questions to ask the program director, but he is very close to begininng his broadcast. He also learns about his new recorder, it doesn’t work exactly the way he anticipates, but without the feature he thought that it has, it still will do enough other things to make it worth the high price. It works excellent! He records a song and is planning on playing it on his radio show. If Leah still lives or works in the area, if she doesn’t hear the song, there is a good chance she will hear about it. Perhaps that is why he can not forget about her, because his conscience tells him that he will see her again.

May 14, 5:57 am

   It doesn’t seem possible that it is eleven days since Les adds more writing to the story.  He can blame it on being busy, but he is not spending all his time wisely, so that is not a good excuse; even though it is partially true. Today is Friday, and the final day of his radio show for the week. He is getting up earlier than usual, sometimes to work on the show, but also to listen to it. It fires him up to hear his own show, and it carries through the day. He has been busy, but a lot of it is stressful, preparing for the upcoming trip. The truck spends a week in the garage getting repairs, and he will put the camper back on next week. There are advantages to having the camper as opposed to not, as there are also advantages to not having it on the truck while he is working locally.

   Les rollerblades over thirty-five miles in the past seven days. He definitely feels the difference in his legs and lower back when he walks. Now that he has the truck again, he has to make the time to rollerblade. Being temporarily without wheels is why Les begins rollerblading. At first he is unsteady, but now he is more confident as he is skating that he isn’t going to fall.

   He still can’t get Leah out of his mind. He walks into a business a few days ago, and the woman there is absolutely looking fantastic, and Les thinks to himself that he would marry her in a heartbeat. But it is just a dream, the reality that Les will find a woman to share his life with is very unlikely to happen any time soon, but one can not be sure of the future. It isn’t about finding a woman to share his life with, it is about finding a woman that can make him forget about Leah; which is difficult because Les believes that she is whom he will meet when he moves into the next life.

   His favorite story in the old scriptures is the story of a man who falls in love with a woman, and to marry the woman he has to work for her father for seven years. The man agrees and because he loves her so much, the seven years go by as if they were only days.

May 22, 9:42 pm

  Les has to become more diligent with keeping up with this story on a more consistent basis. He is about nine days away from leaving Los Angeles. He thought he was going to forget about Leah after visiting her workplace during his trip home creates doubt about whether she is the magical one for him. He does believe in magic after all, and at this point of his life it certainly will be a magical experience to find a woman to spend the rest of his life with. The time between his thoughts of her are becoming longer and longer as the days go by, until he is only thinking of her a few times a day, instead of all day.

  He begins producing a country and western radio show for the radio station in the small city of Belfast, Maine, and is really enjoying it. He is also having very wild, vivid dreams more regularly. In one dream, he wakes up feeling as if he is married to Leah, before realizing it is only a dream. When waking up from this dream, he can also hear a new song, and after a couple of days he has most of the words for the song. He most likely won’t have the song completed by the end of his next weeks series of radio programs, but the song most likely will not disappear from his mind. It is a song about getting married, a leap of faith. Within the past few days, Leah kisses him in two separate dreams. He wonders if she has listened to any of his radio shows. 

June 1, 6:50 am

  The day is finally here. Les is scheduled to leave Los Angeles today. He still has a lot of work to do before hitting the road. He put the camper back on the truck last night, and today has some packing to do. But Les is good at packing, he has enough practice.

July 28, 11:03 pm

   Les is thinking about the day he gets the idea to write this story, because he wanted to help his friend who was down and in a bit of trouble. How he was feeling so exhausted from staying at the hospital with his mother for a week, sitting in the rocking chair, exhausted, feeling down, and then feeling what feels like a soothing breeze pass through his body, hearing a voice saying, “This is a wonderful oportunity.” That friend passed away a little over a month ago. When he was growing up, Les’ two closest friends, the castaways that nobody thought would ever amount to anything. People used to wonder why Les kept their company. They were his friends, that is why. At his mother’s burial service, Les mentions that his mother once told him not to ever turn his back on his friends because he might be the only one they have. She was talking about those two guys. When he says that at the service, one of his friends’ mother is there. He remembers seeing her as he is speaking those words, thinking that she certainly knows who he is talking about. The other friend is the one who breaks the news to Les, so Les calls him right back and congratulates him for out living the other, because for years he appears to have one foot in the grave. Then he passes away less than two weeks later.

   Les hasn’t written for fifty-nine days. It seems as if each day is long, grueling, and exhausting. Three days ago was one of the worst days in memory. All that combined, and the heat has been overbearing. He buys a generator to power the air conditioner in the camper, but it isn’t like he can just pull over anywhere to pull the generator out to run it. Of course, the air conditioner stopped working in the truck. He thought he would be home by the end of September, but now it appears as it will be later in October.

In the past nineteen months, Les has lost his mother, his home, almost everything he owned except one guitar, and his two oldest best friends. Sometimes he still misses his dog. He remembers sitting in that same rocking chair about two weeks before his belongings all went up in flames, wondering what it would be like to start all over again with nothing except a guitar. Now he knows.

   He wonders if Leah ever thinks about him. He decides to try to find someone else, but it isn’t easy to do that being on the road, driving from time to time. It isn’t like he is giving up on Leah, or is it? How long should he wait, it has been almost three years, but the feelings are just as strong inside him, or are they? Yes they are, he is just reacting to them differently. He wonders if she listens to his radio show. If she ever listens to that station at all, it would seem inevitable that she would eventually hear his show, as his show is the most played show on the station. How did that happen> How did he go from having almost nothing, to having the most played show on a radio station? He wanted to do the show, hoping she would eventually hear it. He has even been toying around with this show before his comes own. 

  It is often said that for a new door to open, an old door must close. A lot of doors have closed, something big and special is on his horizon. He has to get back to writing regularly again, he also has another project that he has to further along. When he is walking down any street, he wishes he has more money to give to the homeless, even when they do not ask for any. He is rewarded with their smiles. That is why he keeps believing that Leah is still in his future, because she is the one who is going to help him save the world, one smile at a time. Of course she is in his future, because when he leaves this world for the next, whatever is waiting there may not be her, but it will look like her. That is why it is difficult to move on from thinking so incessantly about her, because there is only one woman that can be the best looking woman he has ever seen in his life.

July 31, 1:02 pm

  Les wakes up this morning with a flat tire. The plan was to get a new pair when he gets to 

South Dakota next week, but the tires didn’t make it that far. This is the sixth day he hasn’t eaten.   He has been drinking juices, but yesterday one gives him stomach problems. He then buys a fancy juice making machine, and when he gets to the truck to see is it will run with the truck electricity, he notices that it is damaged. He takes it back in to return it for a different one, but their service counter is closed. The heat is wearing him out. When he wakes up and finds the flat tire, it is almost a relief because he has to have it fixed, and it gives him a reason to not push himself to work so hard, trying to reserve energy. Not only will he have the tires fixed, but he is also hoping to resolve the air conditioning problem soon. It actually blows a little cold air for the first time, not much, but enough to keep him from over heating; although it does not work long before it stops.

September 24, 5:10 pm

  Almost two months later from when he last updates the story, Les reads where he leaves off at the end of July, and remembers quite well the events from that point on. He is currently in Texas. The truck is awaiting repairs, and it will possibly be a week or more before it is ready to drive again. A lot happens between now and when he last writes. He is currently staying in a hotel, awaiting to resume his journey. His last entry is July 31, so he updates beginning from that day.

   What he remembers of the trip from the tire shop in Texas to Sturgis, South Dakota, begins with the radio show. He has been playing with the two hours of scheduling that precedes his show, the rock and roll segment. He doesn’t want to use his regular voice that he uses for the country and western show, because of wanting to keep the two separate, and not necessarily wanting any listeners to realize he is doing both segments; at least for the time being. So, he uses a different voice, one that is made popular in an older movie, a very successful movie that wins awards the year it is released. While driving throughout the night, Les is becoming very tired, but does not want to pull over to sleep. While driving, he practices using the alternate voice, and the energy of using that voice revives him, keeping him awake, until he finds a place to pull over and record the show He arrives to Sturgis.

   He gets there early, as planned, and tries to catch up on a little rest and relax, knowing that he will be under a lot of duress, and because the person that usually coordinates the event will not be there this year, he takes over the office to make it his space; changing the locks. As he is currently sitting in Texas, he can not remember each event in Sturgis, but only what stands out in his memory, Back in Sturgis, he realizes that he has been at Sturgis many times in the past, so many times that adding up all the time is well over half of a year that he lives in this building. It is almost like a home away from home. One of the actions he has to take is to remove the front windows which allows access and communication from the sidewalk to inside the building. He has not ever taken part in removing them before, as that job is usually done by a local glass and window guy. But for some reason, not this year. He believes he can get them out. The club that occupies the building during the event provides him with an assistant. It is quite dangerous because the glass windows are quite large, and not framed in any type of frame. The first one comes out without a problem. Les is feeling the pressure, because he is being observed by a crowd  that can often be rather unforgiving. The previous year was very tense, but he felt he had earned their trust and respect, so this year should go smoother; one would think. He even buys an extra bottle of hard liquor, knowing that the club will appreciate that; after all, they are working together under the same roof, with common goals.

   The second window doesn’t come out so easy. As a matter of fact, it cracks. The man standing outside jumps back, anticipating that the glass would shatter, but it doesn’t, and he reluctantly steps back to the glass and applies some pressure to help keep the glass in place. Les assures him that the best idea is to leave it alone until a glass expert arrives, and he tapes the crack to help keep it from falling out. There are already many people occupying the sidewlk, and it is a dangerous situation. Les fashions a small blockade to keep people from getting to close. Aside from not wanting to injure anybody, an unscrupulous person could see that as a money making situation.

   As it turns out, the reson the usual glass guy is not used this year is because the curator of the building during the off season and he get into a dispute. When the window cracks a few nmonths previous to the event, she has a different glass company replace it. Les calls the new glass company about the freshly cracked window, and they can’t get to it for at least two weeks. That obviously isn’t going to work, because it has to come out as soon as possible. Not only for the event, but because it is a very dangerous situation. He tries to find someone else, and calls a local window guy, but he is not an actual glass guy, he just installs regular windows like you might find at the local hardware or building supply store. But, the man tells Les who to call, and it turns out to be the former glass guy, and the glass guy remarks that he notices that he has not received the usual call before the rally to remove the glass. He agrees to come over, but does not have an assistant to help him. Les assures him that he will help. The man comes over, and Les ends up taking the glass out with the glass guy’s direction, and help. Once the glass is out, Les realizes that the framing of the window is different, and he is unable to close it for the after hours as usual, so he purchases some lumber and wood to make enclosures. Once the rally is over, he discovers the extra framing to close the windows during the rally, so if he is there next year he will not have to work so hard to open and close up. He feels that the way he handles the window situation gains him some some extra respect with the club. There is some disagreement throughout the week about who should have the key, but he doesn’t want to release the key because he is responsible for keeping that key. They work it out.

   There is a giant inflatable advertisement that goes on the roof during the rally. Les has not ever been part of putting that up, but he figures it out. He realizes that the previous person coordinating the building during the rally certainly is not putting that up himself, and most likely hiring at least two people to do it, probably three. The same goes for the banners. It is kind of heavy and bulky, but not more than he can handle by himself, although he does recruit a helper when it is being inflated because it is quite tall when inflated, and sits on the edge of the roof. It certainly will not be good if it somehow falls over into the street, and on several motorcycles and people. Once he and his helper get it up, Les figures it out and is able to manage it the rest of the week, as it is deflated then inflated again on a daily basis, until the rally is over. Les also figures out what is wrong with the air conditioning, and fixes that. Of course, it helps that one of the club runs a plumbing and heating business. Les basically answers his questions, and with guidance gets it working.

   For ten days straight, Les works fifteen hours every day. As he sits at the neighboring bar on occasion, for refreshment and just a break in general, he realizes that he needs a motorcycle next year. It is kind of lonely without one. He thinks of Leah, but there are so many people in Sturgis, he is distracted. Of course, he does not know if he will ever see her again, and doesn’t want to be alone for the rest of his life; even if he still believes that a likeness of her will appear in his next life. He believes he will see her again, but he doesn’t know for certain. He is not opposed to dating another woman, but he is also not going to hide his feelings about Leah from a woman that might be interested in him long term. When he gets a motorcycle, even without someone to ride with him, it will be more relaxing for him to take a ride instead of sit at the bar. The bartenders remember him from last year, especially the one, the tall one that reminds him of Leah. She even orders his brand of beer, because they had not stocked it for the rally. He is flattered that they do this for him. They do not have a certain dish on the menu this year, so he doesn’t eat much there. Food is very expensive there during the rally.

   For the most part, the rally is not very eventful, which is a good thing. The year before, there is drama with the club, and it isn’t a good situation, but by the end of the event everything seemed to workout okay. It helped that Les has a big bottle of whiskey, the same brand that the liason for the club prefers, which is why he brings one this year. They do not take the time to finish it, but share it a little at a time. After the event, when Les is packing, he notices the bottle is gone. He thinks the club might have taken it, but he doesn’t mind because he buys it for them to begin with. He also has another bottle of something else, and the club leaves a big bottle of vodka behind for him. He likes to keep some alcohol on hand, not knowing who might want to entertain. There is one event that happens at the rally that determines his path forward.

   When Les uses the alternate voice on the rock and roll radio show, certain people at the radio station are very upset. Les does not like their response and decides to quit the show, not wanting to be associated with such attitudes. He then remembers what one of the people associated with the station remarks when Les originally inquires about having his own show. Les says that opinions shouldn’t matter when judging a man’s character, but his actions should be the determining factor. It is obvious that the political views that Les maintains are quite different than those of the station, but most people will jump to a conclusion that if he opposes certain views then he must be affiliated with the party opposing those views. That is a mistake, because Les does not affiliate with any party. He thinks they all are criminals. If they aren’t before being elected, then they are once elected because of being guilty by association. So he is not quite certain that he wants to quit the show. Then he gets another message that is more absurd than the previous, and yes, he decides to quit. He doesn’t feel as if he has to notify anybody he is quitting. He isn’t happy about quitting, but has faith that he will move in a better direction.

  He is asked by the owner of the building to make a help wanted sign, but he doesn’t want to just scribble help wanted on a piece of paper, so he puts some extra effort into making a nice sign. He gets some grief for taking so much time into making the sign. A few days earlier, Les decides to start eating breakfast because of not knowing throughout the day when he will have a chance to eat. It is a simple breakfast all you can eat buffet, but is is alright. The food isn’t exactly what he would normally eat, but it gets the job done and fills his stomach. While there, he gets in a conversation with someone who takes pictures for a living. He is a pleasant person, and they actually have another short conversation during the course of a day when Les happens to be working the crowd from the window. A few days later, Les gets a message from the office; his picture is in a very famous magazine, and the picture had to have been taken shortly after hanging the help wanted sign, because he still has the tape in his hand. He thinks it might be the person he has the conversation with over breakfast who takes the picture, but he cannot be certain.

  By putting a little extra effort into making that help wanted sign, Les puts himself into position for that picture to be taken. Thinking of that breakfast is making Les hungry….. but he believes that success in the music and entertainment industry is more about being in the right place at the right time, and if he can get his picture in a very prominent magazine read worldwide once, maybe it can happen again. He decides to continue doing the radio show, imagining that there are actually people listening who are actually enjoying his show. He doesn’t want to become famous, but feels that he can do more good for more people with the more resources that success in the entertainment business can provide. And, he wants to share that with Leah; to give it all to her. Yes, he still thinks about her all day long. A person Les recently meets at a rally after Sturgis wants to keep in touch with Les, because he wants to know how Les’ quest to see Leah again will work out, because he listened to Les tell the story of meeting her; a story that took at least two hours. Les has told it several times over the past year on the road. 

September 25, 11:26 am

   Les doesn’t get out of Sturgis as soon as he wants. Every hour he is delayed from making progress is an hour longer it will take him to get home to Maine, and another less he will be in Maine before he leaves again. Of course, he doesn’t know if he will leave again, because he has no way of knowing what will happen while he is there. There is something going on around the world, according to the most popular news sources, that Les is trying to keep out of this story. He remembers Sturgis last year, mentioning the masks people are wearing while they are there. It is quite possible that the reasons people are wearing masks on their faces may become a bigger part of this story, but he will try to keep that topic out of this story until it is begins to become the story. It is evil, pure evil, what is happening to many people. But Lew also believes that we all get what is coming to us. For example, most people have heard about something called the mark of the beast from ancient writings, but that is very misleading because Les believes that all numbers and letters are marks of the beast, as well as pictures and any image created that looks similar to anything growing naturally on earth. This belief is not very popular, because even writing this story would be considered evil. Les accepts that, and he actually looks forward to the day he leaves this perception of earth, but he is assigned by the spirit to stay here as long as possible.

  Les fixes the air conditioner in the truck before he exits South Dakota. It is so easy to do, he feels embarrassed because he does not fix it earlier. But that is the way it is, the way it is supposed to happen. The few weeks before that, the heat almost gives Les a mild heat stroke, at least one hundred and fifteen degrees every day, sometimes over one hundred and twenty, with the nights bare getting under one hundred degrees. He describes the symptoms to someone, and they tell him that he did indeed experience a mild heat stroke. He anticipates Texas to be very hot as well, but even in the nineties, the weather feels mild to the harsh weeks behind him. As fall approaches, the Texas weather feels as if it is becoming milder by the day. Les has not been throw out of a bar for almost thirty years. He is asked to leave two bar in Texas already. People are on edge. The first time he gets kicked out is because the bartender does not want to listen to an alternate opinion. Perhaps that is why that particular bar was empty. The second bar Les gets thrown out of treated a particular couple different than any he had seen enetr the bar before, including himself. It is his third time in that bar. He didn’t think he would be back in that area, but there is an issue with the truck that needs to be resolved. Les likes the food in that bar. He has to pay closer attention to what he eats. On his way to getting the truck issue resolved, another issue arises, a more serious issue that will keep Les in the area for a week. That means another week longer before Les gets home.

  Being unable to drive gives Les time to reflect on the direction he is moving. Not just physically, but within his heart. It is easy to distract himself when he is driving and talking to different people. He is even open to meeting another woman, because regardless of how much he can love another, he doesn’t believe he can ever love anyone more than Leah, he has not ever seen or felt anything like the way she makes him feel, after only spending barely fifteen minutes divided up into three different encounters, and hasn’t seen her in almost three years. How can that even be possible. He has tried and tried to forget her, but nothing works. He believes he will see her again, if not in this life, then in the next, which is where it really counts. Something happened to his soul when their eyes meet for the first time.

September 30, 7:18

   The truck is fixed a few days ahead of schedule. Les stays up most of the night to finish a particular project before getting back out on the road again; to avoid the distractions which driving provide and prevent him from letting the project linger.

February 17, 2022, 7:31 am

   It is over four and a half months since Les adds to the story. A lot happens between now and then. He is no longer traveling around. He returns home to his mountain in Maine, and finds himself doing something he could not have imagined. He is not living on the mountain, it is too difficult to maintain the balance of living there, without a structure to live under because he does not return as planned at the beginning of the trip. He now is living in the nearby town of Belfast. An opportunity is presented to him that is too good to pass up, a beautiful place with an ocean view. He also applies for a new job. He can still potentially keep the old one, but after eighteen months of traveling, he does not want to travel any more; so for amusement he explores other possibilities. He could find alternative work opportunities, but he takes a chance. He gets a new job as a bartender. This story has a lot of catching up to do, but he does not want to get too deeply into what happens over the past four months, and wants to focus on what is ahead. He has always wanted to try bartending, and now he has the opportunity. He begins on Monday, four days from now.

May 31, 2022, 9:43 pm

   Les has not added to the story in about three and a half months. There is an assortment of little plots and storylines that developed. He is bartending, but no longer living in Belfast. That living arrangement does not work out, and by the time that situation transpires, it is barely warm enough to live on the mountain, in a tent. He moves there on Easter Day, and not a lot goes right between then and now, a lot could go worse. He does not want to elaborate. He finds the time to write today because he is waiting for a tire to inflate after closing the bar. He has an accident earlier in the day, following a seratate accident the day before. It seems like every day something is happening that costs him more money and sets him back. Many years ago, when Les visits a professional counsellor for the first time, which could be another story on its own; the counsellor tells Les it is a miracle he lasterd that long. Les wonders how any decent woman would want to partner with such a troubled soul. The only answer that makes sense is that, if anything, Les is very determined, especially under adverser conditions. What other options does he have? He has been writing for about two years, but feels the story has not yet started under the premise it began.

July 24, 2022, 10:46 am

   Tomorrow will be three weeks since Les has smoked anything. Now the story is beginning. He still has a drink occasionally, and eats food that he shouldn’t. Maybe the story isn’t actually started, but he hasn’t had a drink today, although he ate something this morning that had an unnecessary processed ingredient in it. The cream at the supermarket has ingredients other than cream in it, things that do not appear naturally in the environment without a chemical process to produce them.

July 31, 2022, 10:11 am

   Les might be settling into a new routine. He has to drive into town three or four times a week to work one of his jobs. For a few months he can also work on his other job in town. For two days in a row he walks down to the shoreline and sets up a little mini office. He tries to get there as early as possible. Maybe Leah likes to walk along the beach early in the morning on occasion. When he is sitting there and the sun is rising higher in the sky, he is reminded of the warmth he feels when thinking about her. He is reminded of how she is the sun. He doesn’t know if she is still in the area or not. Tomorrow is a big event in town. Les has to work, but if it it is really slow he will close early, because he wants to wander around and see what he might find.

December 18, 2022, 10:57 pm

   Winter is beginning to set in. It is almost six months since Les has added to this story. When he last is writing the story seemed to be beginning, but he begins smoking again. There are circumstances that he will resume smoking after a long break from that particular indulgence. One is a death of a family member or close friend, certain tree climbing and trimming situations, and being incarcerated in a cell. When he smokes after a tree job it is because of the adrenalin sustained once a big tree comes tumbling to the ground in a dangerous situation. This time it was a high speed chase out of town. His case is dismissed. More on that incident later. It is example of his past, being accused of something, then having the charges dropped. The arrest goes on his record, but he is innocent of the charge. Similar to what happened at Leah’s place of employment. Somebody looks at his past record without taking into account that some of those cases were not prosecuted, then makes accusations relative to those charges.

July 29, 2023, 3:27 pm

   It is over seven months since Les writes. His current situation has him sinking low enough that he knows he has to change because he feels the end of his life could be very near. He cannot just give up the spirit. He has to change, it is not like him to give up, but he feels old and tired. Every action seems to be a struggle.